A friend of mine over the last year had started having anxiety attacks. When these attacks hit, her blood pressure would spike, her emotions would be on edge and she would develop a doomsday viewpoint, i.e. she would imagine the worst possible outcome of everything in her life to include that she was dying of one malady or another.  The attacks were often severe and she ended up in the emergency room a couple of times because she worked herself into such a frenzy.

When she was calm we talked about the things that might be contributing to her having anxiety attacks. At first she did not believe that her attacks were brought on by anxiety. She insisted that she had some medical disorder that the doctors were missing. She told me that she didn’t feel anxious and that she didn’t feel she was worried or pressured by anything. The fact that she did not see herself as anxious was interesting to me because I knew simply from observing her that she led an anxious life.

Anxiety is defined as “painful or apprehensive uneasiness of the mind”

It was clear to me that my friend was in pain and was truly experiencing an uneasiness of the mind. I observed her lifestyle and noted that in many ways her lifestyle was contributing to her uneasiness of the mind. She didn’t eat well, lived on fast food and snacks which were high in sugar and sodium and when she did eat a decent meal it was almost always eaten in a restaurant. When she ate she ate like the food was going to be taken away from her at any moment, she ate fast and furious barely having a chance to taste what she shoveled in her mouth.  I observed that she did not get regular hours of sleep and was often trying to burn the candles at both ends. She did not get any real exercise, when she wasn’t busy with work or school she could be found on the couch watching “reality” type shows such as COPS and other type shows which chronicled the drama of others and focused on the worst of human behavior.

When I shared with her my observations and how her lifestyle may be contributing to her anxiety attacks she was quick to dismiss what I had to say, yet each time she went into an anxiety attack or had a melt down because she was in a doomsday mental state she would reach out to me and ask for help. It was during these times that I would gently and sometimes not so gently open up discussions about the possible changes she could make that would help her to remove the anxiety from her life and each time she would put up a wall and defend her lifestyle choices and reiterate that she believed she was suffering from some form of medical malady that the inept doctors were not detecting.

Fast forward a few months; I am visiting with my friend; she appears to be in a good state of being. When I remark at how well she appears she shares with me that she had made a conscious choice to make some lifestyle changes and that she had not experienced an anxiety attack in quite some time, as a matter of fact she shared with me that she had never felt better.

When I asked her what changes she had made she told me that she became aware of what she was exposing herself to and that through this awareness she had chosen to no longer watch dramatic reality shows. She now realized that her exposures to these types of programs which she had viewed as entertainment were in fact having a negative effect on her mental and emotional state.  She also became aware of taking better care of her physical form by eating better, getting some form of exercise and having a more regular sleep schedule. Bottom line, she made some lifestyle changes and reduced her anxiety levels and she did this by increasing her awareness and opening herself up to the possibilities that she could effect change from her internal self and not look for external things to blame her anxiety on. The big, aha for her is that she had to take responsibility for her anxiety, which she did!

Truth is, she has only scratched the surface of removing anxiety from her life and experiencing a joyful life. She has made some changes yes and she feels better, however she now has set herself up to begin aligning herself with her spirit in a much deeper and more profound way which will take her to a level of joy that she has not yet known.

When we experience anxiety it is simply because our thoughts, words/actions are not in alignment with our authentic self, our spirit. The more aligned we become with our authentic self the less anxiety we will experience. Like my friend discovered, we must also be conscious of our physical environment and how we treat our form. It is interesting how as we become aware and make changes to our environment and how we treat and interact with our form that we begin to create an overall awareness or being. These changes can be a catalyst for the deeper internal changes that we need to make to align with our authentic self.

Note, if you see bits of yourself or someone close to you in the description of my friend, please understand that one does not have to change or “get it” all at once.  That being said, one does have to take accountability and responsibility for their state of being before any real and lasting change can take place. Know that even the slightest shifts in thought and lifestyle can lead to less anxiety and a more joyful life.

Anxiety is not something that we should cope with. If you drove a nail through your hand, you wouldn’t cope with the nail in your hand, you would take action to remove the nail and allow the wound to heal. The same thing applies to anxiety, we don’t need to cope with anxiety, we need to take appropriate actions to remove anxiety from our life and heal our self.

Note, one of the key learning’s/reminders for me was that even when people are putting up walls and dismissing your thoughts (even when they ask for them)  there is often a part of them that is listening.

When we think of people who are creative we often think of people who can create songs, music, dance steps, paint, sculpt, create vivid art from piecing together little objects to create a mosaic or string words together in way that form poems or writes in a way that captures are attention. When we reflect on creative people, we may call out people like Michelangelo, Brahms,   Billy Joel, Martin Scorsese, Michael Jackson or Charlie Chaplin.

For most of us it is easy to recognize the creative genius of others. When asked if we are creative, many people will quickly tell you that they are not the creative type.  Why do many people believe that they are not creative? Many people do not believe they are creative because they have a very limited view of creativity. When they think of being creative they think of people in the arts. This is a very limiting view and understanding of creativity.

The truth is we are all creative and weather we acknowledge it or not, we are creating all of the time. Creativity is thought, when we think we create; now that is a very broad statement so let’s dig into this thing we call creativity a little bit more. We are all creative, even the most linear thinkers are creative. Take someone who appears to be non-creative such as a data analyst, a number cruncher; some even refer to these people as “bean counters”. One would think that this is a purely analytical thing to do, yet this very same person who lives in an analytical world creates spreadsheets and graphs and discerns what the numbers mean and provides commentary and findings, all of which are very creative tasks.

On a broader spectrum each morning that you wake up you are creative. As we begin thinking we begin to create. We create the fact that we are going to have a cup of coffee or that we are going for a morning jog. We create our day as we mentally review what lies before us and how we will approach the day. We create our mood by the thoughts we have and the perspectives that we develop.

Even those who believe they are not in the least way creative are in fact often very creative. The creativity that I am speaking of here is the darker side of creativity, we often refer to this type of creativity as fear or worry. When a person thinks about the possibilities of what can happen in the future and they begin to formulate worst case scenarios they are in a creative mode. Albeit, worry and fear are not typically viewed as creativity they none the less are, as a matter of fact this is a type of creativity that almost everyone engages in.

Bottom line is, we are all creative. Creativity is viewed as a positive activity, however as you can now see we also use creativity in way that does not serve our wellbeing. If you are apt at creating fear and worry about things which have not yet happened than it is my hope that you recognize that you are indeed creative. Once we recognize our creativity it is simply a matter of how we choose to use our creativity. In other words, we being the limitless beings that we are have a choice to be creative in a way that creates a world of peace, love and harmony for ourselves and others.

As you can hopefully see, you are creative, you are going to create, you can’t help but create so why not go forth and create the world you desire!

Have you ever prepared or read a resume that talks about the failures or negative things a person has experienced in their career? Of course you haven’t! When we write our resume it is done so with the objective of selling ourselves to a perspective employer in a way that  will garner us an interview. When we craft a resume we only talk about the good stuff we have done! Even if we had a negative experience we spin it to reflect it in a positive light.

Consider for a moment what a resume of your life would be? I am not talking about your job/career accomplishments, I am talking about your life experiences and all of the roles that you have and do play. What would that resume look like?

Did your thoughts go to all of the things that have happened in your life that you are not so proud of? Remember, a resume is a document of experiences and achievements which demonstrate the beauty of you and does not rehash that which you view as negative experiences.  If a negative experience does come to mind let it flow through your thoughts, look at it from different angles and ask yourself what lesson or what positive was gained from this experience that would reflect well on your resume?

What would your life resume look like? For me an effective resume always begins with a clear objective. In this case the objective might read as follows:

Objective: To expose my soul and allow the love that is the true me to shine through and radiate to the Universe; to demonstrate the beauty and divinity of my being. To remind myself of whom I truly am and to release and forgive myself for all and anything which I continue to carry as a negative experience.

Next comes a person’s qualification which might read as follows:

Qualifications: An eternal being, a divine extension of source, an intrepid traveler along an endless journey who is both a teacher and a student. Currently in human form, having human experiences which are designed for me to accomplish my purpose and grow in wisdom through lessons which are provided to me.

From here you list the many accomplishments and lessons learned, remember all of which match up to your above objective.

References: Here you could list all of the people whom love you and would share that love of you with anyone who asked. Of course this does not need to be limited to those whom you know love you, you could even open this up to the unknown multitudes of people whom you have touched with your love, be it the beggar on the street that you gave money/food to or the elderly person whom you helped up the stairs or the child who was lost whom you helped find their mother. Truly you have positively touched many people in ways greater than you realize.

If you have the inclination and time, writing your personal life resume can be a very loving thing to do for yourself. This exercise helps you to understand and remember the beauty whom you are and how much you mean to all of us as we are all one. Have fun with this.

Once you have completed your life resume remember to update it at least once every six months with all the changes that have transpired along your journey. This document, like you should be every changing, evolving if  you will as you evolve.

Are you or is somebody you know at the end of their rope? When we are at the end of our rope it means that we just don’t see how we can hang on any longer, we have come to a point in our journey where we simply are hanging in there by a thread and we feel as if one more thing happens we will lose our grip and it will be all over but the crying. It is often at this time that we believe that if we let go that we will fall into some sort of cosmic abyss and be lost forever, for some it is this point where one may consider or even attempt suicide because they believe that death is the only door left to finding peace.

Our culture often has a negative view of letting go of the rope, there are even clever posters which tell you if you find yourself at the end of your rope that you should tie a knot in the rope and hang on! Often times in our culture we have been taught to believe that if we let go of the end of our rope that we have lost control and that we have failed, both of which carry major stigmas in most cultures.

The fact that letting go of the end our rope has such a negative stigma attached to it leads us to become even more frustrated and confused and it is often our fear of not living up to cultural expectations that drives us into an abyss of negative feelings such as shame, guilt and disgust with ourselves. In extreme cases we are so convinced of the negative societal pressures we will incur if we let go of the rope that we decide it is easier to end this physical life than it is to face the judgments of society.

Of course the part of us that is concerned with losing face and the judgments of others is our ego. It is our ego that fears, it is our ego that cannot see beyond itself, it is our ego that judges and fears being judged and it is our ego which is willing to attempt to kill our spirit to save itself from death.  Our ego believes it is separate from everything and everybody and it is our ego which fears being slayed by the slings and arrows of society. Our ego wants to remain in control to the very end and it even finds solace in ending this physical existence itself rather than die the painful death of admitting it could not hold on to the end of the rope and that it failed to meet the expectations of  itself and  of society.

It is the ego that fears letting go of the rope for it is the rope that is the ego! This is an important distinction to realize for when we think about being at the end of the rope and you visualize yourself hanging on to the rope we don’t see the rope as the ego, however look again, the rope is indeed the ego and the fear that you feel is not a fear that comes from your authentic self, for your authentic self, your spirit knows not fear. The fear we feel comes from the rope which is our ego. The ego is very fearful of being let go of, for it is fragile and it cannot survive if you are not clinging to it.

Let go of the rope and you will experience death and in that death you will find peace. Note, this is not the death of suicide, this is not the death of the physical form, rather this is the death of our ego. When we decide to let go of the rope, we let go of our ego and instead of falling into an abyss of what we fear we find that we land safely in a state of love and peace. When the false face of ego is removed we are left with our core self which is spirit, love and when we live in love there is no fear, there are no shrouds which obstruct our vision and we are not concerned with the judgments of others. It is at this moment that we can look back at the rope we were clinging so desperately to and smile as we understand that which we clung to and feared letting go of was an illusion which caused us great angst and to end that great angst we simply had to understand to let go and trust in our spirit.

Note, I have lived many lives in this physical plane. I have let go of the rope a few times along this leg of my journey and each time I have experienced the death of my ego and the resurrection of my spirit and each time has been a joyous experience.  Note, I did not say it was always easy, as in any birth there is labor involved and there is a time of renewal. Trust in yourself, that your spirit, that is your authentic self is much stronger that your fragile ego and though the death of your ego may seem like a difficult transition the truth is that it is easier than you think and that at the end of the day you will find yourself in love and peace that you never imagined existed.

What are you still hanging on for? Let go of the rope!

Now that is not much of a news flash really is it? We all have heard “It’s not fair”. The funny thing is that when people make the statement “It’s not fair” it makes one believe that somehow they thought it should be fair. I know people who say “It’s not fair” at least once a day, and some who say it multiple times a day.  The declaration that “it’s not fair” is usually promoted by something that has or has not happened to us, for example, a co-worker who does much less work then we do gets the promotion we felt we deserved or a person of wealth wins a million dollars in the lottery or we develop cancer even though we live a healthy life all of which seems to not be fair. The list goes on and on. One could sit for hours and make a list of all of the things in our world which appear to not be fair.

Where does the expectation of everything being fair come from? When we are children are well meaning parents use the concept of fairness to teach us some of our social skills. Playing fair really equates to being nice to others, treating others with respect and so on, all of which are critical social skills which we need to learn. The problem is that life is never truly fair and there is a reason for that, it is not designed to be fair in the sense that we view fair.

How can we expect everything to be equitable across the board? We are all here as part of our journey and we are all on different levels of our journey with unique lessons to learn along the way. The playing field is not a level one because each one of us has a unique purpose and each one of us has lessons to learn at different times in our life.

One might want to think that are physical age has something to do with what is fair and what is not, it doesn’t. We are eternal beings and therefore our physical age does not necessarily relate to our spiritual age, therefore attempting to say what is fair for a person of a physical age of 12 or the age of 50 does not in the big scheme of things make sense.

The cry that “It’s not fair” is a cry of the ego as the ego compares and contrasts it’s self with others. When we operated from a state of ego we tend to compare ourselves to others and in that comparison we perceive that some people have more stuff than we do, or they have better hair than we do, or that they seem to get all the breaks when all we seem to get is more broken and in doing this we experience envy, jealousy, resentment and sometimes hate.

Our ego also tends to label things that happen to us as good or bad. When something happens to us which we perceive as “bad”, we again may want to say, “It’s not fair”. Let’s say we are in a car accident or that we lose someone close to us or we develop a disease like MS or cancer, we tend to view these things as bad and may hear ourselves exclaiming that it’s not fair or why did God allow this to happen to me? When we view these things from the ego our sight and understanding is very limited and we tend to see only the bad. We feel that we are being picked on, singled out by the universe and we see this as being unfair.

When release the ego and therefore release the labels of what is good or bad we then are able to see that there is a purpose for everything that transpires along our journey and that we can use even that which at first seems to be a negative to learn lessons and to grow.

At the end of the day, the fairness which we seek is found in the fact that it is not fair, nor is it designed to be and this is true no matter what your status in life.

The next time you hear yourself exclaiming that  it’s not fair, stop and remind yourself that it is not supposed to be fair and that you are thankful for all which comes your way because through your awareness you will use every experience to live on purpose and grow.

I am the wind which breathes upon the sea,

I am the wave of the ocean,

I am the murmur of the billows,

I am the ox of seven combats,

I am the vulture upon the rocks,

I am a beam of sun,

I am the fairest of plants,

I am the wild boar in valor,

I am the salmon in the water,

I am a lake in the plain,

I am a world of knowledge,

I am the point of the lance in battle,

I am the God who created the fire in my head.

- Ed. P. Murray

The above Irish poem illustrates that we are all of one. The cause of every conflict, every war, most depression and suicide is that we come to believe we are separate from each other and from source.

When we come to understand that we are not separate from source and that we are not separate from anything or anyone in this universe we can choose to fully change our experience on this leg of our journey.

Consider for a moment that every thought that you have, every word that you utter and every action that you take has a direct impact on you. If you truly believed this to be true how would it change your actions towards others and the world at large? What would you do differently? Would you change the way you act and react to others? Would you soften the tone you use when you speak? Would you reconsider that which in the past has raised your anger? Would you not litter, would you be more respectful of all living things on this earth?

One would think one would change if one knew this to be true, right?  As I sit here and write this I am thinking about how many people talk to poorly to themselves, how they treat themselves and for many people that treatment is not all that good. I hear many people call themselves names, like stupid, idiot, clumsy, etc. I see many people who do not treat themselves as one should. Why then would I believe these people who are mean to themselves would be any better in the way they treat the rest of the world even if they realized the impact of their thoughts, words and actions?

I do believe that if people were truly aware of the impact that their own thoughts, words and actions had on themselves and everyone and everything else that they would begin to change and that this change would cascade through our universal consciousness and we would see a universal rising of consciousness. (As a matter of fact, I believe we are already seeing this change).

The key to this change in consciousness rests within each of us. When we realize that we are not separate from source and therefore not separate from each other and we begin to understand that every thought we have has a universal impact and that impact always comes full circle then we are more apt to allow our light to shine.

There are many people out there who are working through personal growth and who are becoming more enlightened every day. Many of these same people though still feel disconnected. While some people may be making great strides in their spiritual journey they may be holding that experience close to the vest and not sharing their personal experiences. While these people are having a positive impact on all of the Universe, they are still holding back. One may ask, why would these people hold back, why would they not share their light in a more direct way? The answer is simple, the ego, which operates on fear as opposed to love, fears that some people may reject their light, that some less enlightened people may not understand the true joy of the soul and that we may be ridiculed for showing our light fully. Note how the ego creates separateness by making an assumption that it is more enlightened and therefore better than others. Whenever we make these types of distinctions we create separateness, and when we believe we are separate from source and therefore separate from others we open the door to much of the world’s woes.

Know today that you are one with all; know that every thought, word and action impacts all which includes you. Know that you have the power to choose the impact that you have. Know that as you grow in wisdom and joy that you will make a greater impact on yourself and all by allowing your light to shine fully.

When putting together a jig saw puzzle and you attempt to force a piece to fit what happens? You most likely will damage the forced piece and attached pieces and as you get to the end of the puzzle you will find that you are unable to complete the puzzle. Force a square peg into a round hold and again you will damage both the peg and the hole. Force your way through a door and you will most likely damage the door and possibly yourself.  When we use force in these ways we are either not being patient or our need to be right and powerful overrule the obvious.

Think about the times in your life when you have elected to use force to make something fit, or to get your way. What was the long term result? I am pretty confident that most people will say that although the use of force may have initially seemed to accomplish their objective that in the long run there was more damage caused by the force that was used and that in the end what was forced eventually unraveled.

Consider the times that you have felt that you were forced into something, how did you feel and what was the short term and long term result?

It is important to note that force and pressure come in many forms and often times force, pressure and coercion comes with a smile, a handshake and clever manipulation. What ever form force takes we know when we are being pressured and we typically will react accordingly.

The funny thing is even though we recognize that we do not want to have force applied to us, many people are quick to apply force to other people or situations to get what they perceive they want. We may even feel justified in using force to fulfill our desires and to apply pressure to have the universe behave in the way we want it to.

Our ego mind is very arrogant and can easily justify why using some form of force to help the world to behave as we desire is the right thing to do. Ego never believes it is wrong, therefore the ego mind believes that there is only really one way to do things, the ego’s way.

This is why so many people directly or indirectly force their views, beliefs and even themselves upon each other. Even in long term loving relationships we find that one person may try to force the relationship in a certain direction or force time with the other person even when the declare they need some space. Matter of fact, in a relationship often times when someone claims the need for some space instead of backing off and allowing  the person to have space we tend to do just the opposite and force ourselves into their lives more which in the end quite often creates more distance in the relationship.

You may be sitting there think there are times when force is truly necessary such as when trying to help someone with a drug addiction problem. Know this, that force even in this situation is a band-aid and that although we may see an initial change, the change will not last.

Change cannot be forced. We must buy into, i.e. accept the need for change. True change happens from the inside out.  We may gain awareness of the need for change from external input however true change is an inside job.

Remember force is often met with force, i.e.  when we feel we are being pressured we resist, dig our heals in and are less likely to make a real change. Therefore it is key that instead of using force we practice allowing and acceptance and we do this with love.

Know that you cannot force anything to happen or change that will have long term positive impact. Know that all the things that we desire to see change in the world must first change within ourselves.

When we drop our ego’s need for being right and having the power and we approach all with our spirit of love then we will find that it is much easier to accept and allow and we will be surprised to find that we do not have such a desire to have everyone else change to be more like us.

Ultimately, what we’ll discover, as individuals and
collectively, is that while we may attempt to hammer our
world into submission through pure force and might, lasting
change will only come from within. We must become the
very change we choose to experience in our world.”

— Gregg Braden - Author

Fo

The following is a re-post, still traveling today.  Hope you enjoy.

“While sitting on the bank of a river one day, I picked up a solid round stone from the water and broke it open. It was perfectly dry in spite of the fact that it had been immersed in water for centuries. The same is true of many people in the Western world. For centuries they have been surrounded by Christianity; they live immersed in the waters of its benefits. And yet it has not penetrated their hearts; they do not love it. The fault is not in Christianity, but in men’s hearts, which have been hardened by materialism and intellectualism”

~Sadhu Sundar Singh~

This is such an interesting quote, I love the analogy of the stone that has been in the water for all that time, yet is not penetrated by the water.  If we stop at the river bank and pick up a stone out of the water, we know that only the outside of the stone will be wet, while the inside will be dry, untouched by the water. We also know that if that same stone is left in the river that over a long period of time that the stone will be worn down by the water and that eventually it will become no bigger than a pebble of sand. The stone has no choice does it, it cannot choose to allow the water inside of it or to pass through, the stone simply must sit there and be worn away by the steady stream of water. Now the water on the other hand is fluid and can hit and move around the stone and continue flowing.

As I think on the stone and the water, I have to ask myself, which one am I, am I the stone, rigid, impenetrable, for the most part static, except for when moved by the water or am I the water, consistently flowing, making my own path, flowing over and around obstacles like the stone, giving life to all that need me for nourishment, changing form and recreating myself along the journey? Am I the immersed or the one immersing all that I touch?

I choose to be the water! For that is my purpose, to be like the water is to be spirit-centric! At times in my life, I have been the stone and I must say that I was never my authentic self in the role of the stone. I love being the water!

Which are you? What state are you in? Do you find that even now, in some ways you’re the stone? If so, what needs to happen for you to become more like the water?

There are only four great questions in life:

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for?

What is worth dying for?

The answer to all of them is the same,

Only Love

- Johnny Depp, as Don Juan de Marco

I am traveling this week and unable to post. This is a re-post from Spring of 2007.

We all have times where what we are going through seems to be pure hell. It could be something happening with our career or something going on with one of the relationships in our life, or some other sort of personal struggle that we are going through.  As part of the human condition, as part as our growth experience there are times where we struggle with some aspect of our life’s journey. No matter where we are in our journey, we will be thrown some curve balls, there will be bumps in the road and there will be times where we feel like we are going through a personal hell.

Winston Chruchill’s simplistic quote, “If you are going through hell, keep going” is a great lesson for all of us. When we are going through “hell” it is very easy to get caught up in the muck of it, become despondent and even come to a grinding halt. In other words, we are going through hell, we hate it, we become depressed, unmotivated and we become stuck in a hellish situation. How crazy is that? Like  a deer frozen in the headlights of a car, we stop moving forward and we stay in “hell”, despite the fact that we need to move forward to extract ourselves from hell.

A key to being able to move forward is to be aware and to stay balanced. The awareness that I speak of is the awareness to know that no matter what transpires in our life, that all things happen for a reason, that there is a lesson in all things that happen on our journey. If we can maintain awareness to the point of understanding to be open and ready for the lesson, then we can take a positive away from the worst of experiences. Maintaining this awareness is what helps to propel us forward, it is what keeps us moving so that we do not linger or become stuck in “hell”.

If you are currently in some sort of personal hell and you seem stuck, not knowing how to move forward even though you desperately want to move forward, the first steps that you need to take is to acknowledge that you are stuck and acknowledge that this feeling of non-movement is self imposed. Once you become aware that this feeling of being stuck in “hell” is self imposed, you must then step outside yourself and look to see what lesson can be gained from this experience, what are you here to learn. Once you are able to discern the lesson then you have taken the first step at moving forward. This simple change in perspective is the catalyst for forward movement. This is the moment where your inner self is reawakened, the moment you reconnect with your source and you realize that you no longer have to stay in a hellish situation. You have the power to make the changes that are needed to accelerate your positive growth.

The key is to recognize your personal power, the power of your spirit and to take the first step!

“The two things I did learn were that you are as powerful and strong as you allow yourself to be, and that the most difficult part of any endeavor is taking the first step, making the first decision”

- Robyn Davidson