What Life Experince Are You Creating?
The other morning it was chilly and I reached into the closet to grab a jacket. As I took the jacket off the hanger the jacket felt heavier than it should like something was in the pockets. I reached into the jacket pocket and much to my surprise I discovered a set of keys that I had lost last spring. Now it is very unusual for me to lose anything let alone a big set of keys, however last spring after returning from a funeral I could not find my keys. I searched high and low and I believed I went through all of my coat pockets and I was unable to find the set of keys. I thought maybe I lost them at the funeral, maybe left them sitting on the pew at church or on the table at the post funeral gathering with the family. I even wondered if somehow they had found themselves into the grave because they never turned up. I had a spare set of keys so I did not replace the lost ones. One car key in particular would have cost $150.00 to replace and I did not want to put out $150.00 for one key so I waited believing the keys would show up someday. Well that someday came and there they were in my pocket, ha! I wondered how they got there, how I could have missed them last spring when I was searching for them. Never the less, I now found them and was delighted. I exclaimed to a friend how fortunate I was to find this set of keys!
That same night when I came home from work I went down to the basement to look for something. As I was walking through the basement I noticed some water on the floor, I looked around and found the source of the water was a steady drip from the main pipe that brought water into the house. I could see that there was rust around the joint where it was leaking. I put my finger up to the drip and touched the rusting pipe. My touch dislodged a piece of the rust and the drip turned to a forceful spray which was now giving me an unexpected shower! I quickly looked for a shut off valve which was close at hand, as I turned the shut off valve it started to leak water a steady rate. Now I had two leaks! I then went and found the main shut off valve and turned all of the water coming into the house off.
At this time it is going on eight o’clock in the evening. It is going to be a cold night and my heat is radiator steam heat meaning I need to have water to keep the house warm. This was not something that was within my talents to fix therefore I had to call a plumber and be charged for an after hours emergency call which I knew would be costly. I felt a little frustrated as I thumbed through the phone book to find a plumber that would come out and fix my leaks. As I was looking for a plumber my friend whom I excitedly told about finding my keys that very morning called. I quickly explained the plumbing situation and she said, “Well that balances out your day, you found your keys this morning and now you have a big plumbing problem, that’s the way it works, get something good and something bad happens to balance it out”.
This declaration of expected duality made me stop and ponder my situation. I thought to myself is this plumbing issue a bad thing, is it pay back for finding my keys? As I assessed what was happening I quickly came to the conclusion that no, this was not a bad thing. As a matter of fact this was a continuation of a great day! In the morning I found my long lost keys and now I discovered a leak which must be repaired. The fact is had I not went down to the basement when I did I would have most likely woke up to a massive leak and a flooded basement in the next couple of days. I would have had to deal with wading through water, pumping the water out of my basement and then deal with all the damage the water would have caused to the multitude of boxes I have stored in the basement! The cost of this would have been extreme in comparison to the cost of the minor leaks that had to be repaired that night.
You see there was no duality at work here; there was no balancing out the fact that I found my keys! I live a blessed life and this was simply another blessing. I simply had to shift my perspective to understand the blessing. I do live a blessed life! What seemed on the surface like a negative was really a huge positive.
I could have chosen a different perspective and reacted to the leak with anger and frustration. I could have yelled at the Universe in frustration and asked “why me?” I could have chosen to allow my emotions to spill over onto others and take my frustrations out on anyone who got in my way. I could have tossed and turned all night as I seethed with anger over the situation. I could have as my friend suggested accepted that when something good happens that something bad happens to balance it out. I could have taken the pipe leaking personally. I could have seen this as a negative event.
I could have … however what good would it have done, how would taking the negative perspective serve me? The truth is it would not have served me, taking the negative path would have caused a disservice to me. In the short term and the long term I would have created and perpetuated negative energy into my life and in doing so I would have most likely attracted more of what I did not truly desire.
Each time we react to what is happening in our life, we have a choice of perspective and therefore the choice to create the world we desire. Passionately expect to live a blessed life and that is what you create. Passionately expect bad things to happen, that bad things have to happen to balance out the good and that is the life experience that you create!
The choice is yours! What life experience are you creating?
You can’t change what happens to you, but you can always change how you think about what happens to you! Excellent, Mark.
Wow. This post really made me think. Thanks, Mark!
HI MARK-
I SO love the ‘real-life’ experiences you share to then make your point.
And I absolutely agree with you. The other day when my husband and I were making a HUGE pot of my famous ‘marinara sauce’ in preparation for my Mom’s birthday dinner he was organizing ‘tuff’ under the sink and found that it was all wet. We too had a leak and he went and got the replacement pipe we needed to fix it. SO had we not decided to make sauce together, and had my Mom not requested stuffed shells an meatballs for her celebration dinner and so forth he never would have discovered our leaking pipes. At first we were saying, “oh no”, but we quickly were quite happy he found it when he did which made the solution much easier. phew. I could share so many other examples and that in of itself is such a wonderful feeling. Thnaks Mark for allowing me to think about and share some of what we create as life does what it does.
Love to you
Gail
peace…..
Good Monday morning to you, dear Mark.
Happy ones filled with readily accessible solutions, thank GOD.
Life has done a 180 and I am so grateful. Every lesson had an opportunity and a blessing that has evolved from it.
((hugs))
I agree. When a crisis strikes, it’s good to remember that this is all part of a full life. Having to call the plumber and pay for emergency hours means I am a responsible home owner, fortunate enough to own my home. And no, I don’t see it as payback for finding your keys. But it is fun to talk about it. Humor helps us cope, too.
Homes need maintenance and repair. The blessing is in having a comfortable home to live in. Glad to hear you found your keys and fixed a leak.
I was asked a question today and the question was ” If you had one moment left what would you do with it?” Without thinking I turned around and said If you have one moment what would you do with it? They responded with ” share it with a loved one” I don’ think I create any experiences, we do have the choice to journey on a particular path which may or may not alter the outcome. I have never been really lucky enough to be one those people that have one direction. I believe the paths were placed in advance and somehow reveal themselves when as a friend ” when you are ready”
Hi Mark,
A powerful and delightful story. You DO have a blessed life and you continue to spread your blessings through great posts like this. Thanks.
How wonderful it is that you were able to recognize the blessing out of a challenging & difficult situation. Thank you for sharing your story, and for shining light on the idea that we have a choice as to how we react to Life.
Love it. Love it. LOVE IT!
Great post Mark. Blessings indeed!
I feel blessed just knowing you
Things happen for us all of the time.
I too love it when you use real life examples!! It helps us apply those good principles to our lives! Very good post, thank you. Yes, sometimes we need to produce an effort to shift our perspective but it is soooo worth it! Now… any tips to remember all those good lessons when frustration takes over? Practice?
Dark Cloud Nine,
You ask if there any tips to remember how to be when frustration takes over. You ask is it practice. In a way yes, what we are talking about here is a way of living, more apt a way of authentically living our true purpose and that is to love in every way. When we live in love, then we find that we are rarely frustrated, worried, angry, etc, for love does not know of these emotions. Picture a person who has just “fallen in love”, they are as light as air, the float when they walk and even if you tried you can’t get to them. When we live our life in love, when we are love in all that we do it is very much like the feeling we have when we “fall in love”. We are at a different level and the things that once drove us nuts don’t seem to really matter, we brush them off or we see them from a different perspective. Live in love all of the time and this is how you will avoid succumbing to the frustrations born of the ego.
Hi Mark! This was a fabulous post! Wow, isn’t everything just a big old bunch of attitude? Yours is a shining example of how to look at the “leaky pipes” in life – they are always popping up. How fortunate that you went into the basement, as you said, in the first place. How much worse would it have been to have a total flood? You keep on shining that great attitude – you are a beacon of light to many!
And thank you for the comment on my blog – sorry about causing tears with it but it’s wonderful to know I didn’t cry alone! Happy Veterans Day!
When I was a young, harried mother, I was upstairs fixing dinner after coming home from work. I was thinking of all I had to do–fix lunches, do laundry, help with homework, take the dog out..and on and on.
My three year old son appeared after a half hour in the basement, and he was soaking wet. I stared at him trying to figure out what was going on, and with a huge smile he announced he was swimming in the water in the basement. Our basement was flooded and everything down there ruined. At first I wanted to cry, but his guileless pleasure at the unexpected “swim” just made me laugh.
Here are your words Mark:
serendipity
intervention
epitaph
courage
siblings
Lou,
I love this story. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child helps us to gain true perspective on what life is about. Thank-you for sharing.
Great attitude. Life is full of unexpected leaks. You handled it very well. I also had a problem with a leaky hot water tank. At first I was irritated. I’d just had the plumber in to fix a kitchen faucet and now this! Well, the plumber had to come back to tighten the kitchen faucet and then I showed him the water tank. He told me it was a valve and it’s a good thing I noticed it in time or the basement would have been flooded. So, I was grateful in the end too.
I heard somewhere that if you have leaks in the house, it represents your emotions running wild, leaking out, something like that. Hmmmmm.
I can see you standing in your home contemplating the very idea of balance your friend had suggested. It sounds like it was a light bulb moment and a good one at that. Great story.
I often remind my counselling clients that we only have control over our actions and reactions to events or to the behaviour of the people in our lives. In turn, we have some power to how another reacts. Feelings are like dominoes aren’t they?
So, to answer your question? I try my best. But, when passion is involved, sometimes it seeps out of me spontaneously before I have paused to catch my breath and choose a more apt response. It’s all creative though isn’t it?
Dana,
Yes, it is all creative! We do create all of the time, some on a conscious level, most on an unconscious level. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I am so glad you took this as a positive. If you have metal pipes they are like a can of worms, or should I say domino’s. You touch 1 and the rest fall down. I replaced even the broken copper in this house with a pvc hose type as it expands and contracts with a freeze and if it leaks you can cut it and add a coupling. Plumbing is a good example of life in turmoil, one thing after another. it is best to get rid of the old and replace it with copper.
I love how you can see through the situation to see it is for the best.
excellent turn-around there! we all too easily sit back with a ‘woe is me’ instead of seeing the good.
I think so many people only focus on the “bad” and question why they are being punished. I loved this post and your perspective.
“…we have a choice of perspective and therefore the choice to create the world we desire.” That is so true, sometimes I wonder why can’t everyone learn to live life that way!
Fascinating that some one felt good must be balanced with bad. Things happen, difficult and easy. It is our attitude that makes things good and bad. The occurrence is neutral. Even a Hurricane is not bad, it just is. Its destruction changes things, but that can be made into something good. That is our choice. Of course I know nothing about such things now,do i?
Hi there tobeme,
I’ve not been contributing to your site for a while and tonight i felt compelled to log on…….. I often loose things….. but recently i lost a bracelet given to me by my parents for my 21st birthday and a ring that i love. I knew the items were safe, there was some calming reassurance that i had put them somewhere safe….. about two weeks later they turned up! I know this is a literal response to your statement…….. hey, that what i wanted to say. xx
Leigh,
Glad that you stopped by. Much of our lives are synchronous, I am glad to hear that your bracelet and ring were safe. I love how you trusted that they were always safe and did not panic. Thanks for sharing.
I agree Mark… a shift in perspective or another way to say it is, ‘renewing your mind’. I’ve had to do much of this in my life. I used to howl at the moon, (figuratively speaking) when things went wrong, until I realized it wasn’t howling back. So I disciplined myself into having a positive reaction to a negative situation, ie. I don’t get lost anymore, only side tracked.
I love your perspective on life, Mark. I’ve long subscribed to the notion that life isn’t about what happens to you – rather, it’s how you choose to respond to it. When faced with adversity, we can choose to turn grey, or we can face it with strength and conviction.
My father, who passed away in September, taught me to look for the silver lining in everything. I find myself doing just that rather often these days. It is as it should be.
Hi Mark,
I lost my husband’s $200 key a couple of weeks ago. He was so mad at me and trying not to be because he lost one himself at the airport and had to replace it and I just said, Oh forgive yourself!
So I said just give me a few days. I’ll find it. It’ll show up. And every few days he’d ask and I’d say the same thing without reacting to his anxiety.
Well two days ago he came in the house with a grin on his face. He found the key under the front seat. I left it there. It showed up and all is well.
There is no sense getting upset over silly little human things we do. We can just take note to not repeat mistake and move on. Life’s to short to give it any other energy than that.
Hey Mark,
I seem to be one step behind all of your posts but that is just where I am right now so I won’t be too apologetic!
I wanted to say that I read with agreement (yes, I know you may not imagine that) what you have written.
When it came to the part about what your friend said about the leak being something to ‘balance out’ the ‘good’ experience, my heart dropped and i thought, “oh no!Please don’t say that! That’s just so so so not right!”. I understand the concept of yin and yang and all that, but I don’t believe that everytime something good happens it is necessarily ‘countered’ by a negative experience!
Wow! How much would you dread the good if that was the case!
How utterly depressing!
It was then, with huge relief that I read your next few thoughts.
I think you are right Mark.
That leak could have ended up being much, much more damaging. You found it in time!
Your way of thinking turned something that could have been a negative, into something positive.
I know that, having read some of my stuff, this might sound rich coming from me. I realise how easy it would be to hear my whingings an whinings and assume that I never choose to create a positive, I fear that others think the same.
However, I look at where I am as being quite unavoidable at the moment.
No denying that it is painful and at times, even more than that, but in moments of clarity, I see where I am as a leak that I am trying to fix before it gets any worse.
I see it as something I have ignored for a long time, pretended that the plumber was to expensive perhaps, but have now realised is what I need to look at.
Does that make sense?
Why I am trying to justify myself here I am not sure, I guess just that I felt you would be bemused by my agreement that negatives can be turned to positives through the filter of a particular belief or mindset.
I’ll stopo before I ramble anymore Mark!
I also wanted to say that only just read your response to my last comment.
Thank you for your kindness.
WS
WS,
Love your thoughts (what you call rambling). It is good to hear the process that you are going through and your perspective. You have much wisdom. I feel your energy and it is an energy of change and growth in the midst of some confusion and pain. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your journey.