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Archive for November, 2009

Excuse Me, You Are Stepping On My Dreams

November 25, 2009 tobeme 20 comments

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Note: This is a re-post from Oct 2008. I am preparing for the Thanksgiving  holiday. I hope you enjoy!

Dreams, visualizations, projections of what we desire to manifest our life’s to be are very important. Dreams are a form of very powerful energy which is what keeps us moving forward. Dreams help us to see how we desire to grow. When we are without dreams we can easily fall into a place of complacency, stagnant at the very least which for some can lead into a deep depression. This is why it is so important to allow ourselves to dream, to look forward and more importantly to believe in that which we dream. Let me repeat that, we must BELIEVE in what we dream, visualize, etc! If we don’t believe in our dreams than they most likely will not manifest into our reality.

Who are the biggest dreamers, who are the best at allowing themselves to dream and believe in their dreams? Children are the best dreamers in the world. Children are the best at dreaming and believing in their dreams because they don’t have the history that we as adults have and therefore do not have the often “adult logical” barriers to their dreams in their mind. To a child, anything is possible!

Of course this holds true until some well meaning adult squashes a child’s dream by trying to infuse their adult reality into the situation. Adults in a child’s life are god like in their ability to influence and persuade and often something which is said casually by an adult is taken very literally by a child as being the absolute truth.

When Johnny/Jane says I want to be a major league football player, or I want to be a judge on the Supreme Court or anything else that they desire and a well meaning adult explains to the child that the chances of becoming one of these things is slim to none, then often the dream has been effectively crushed. Now one dream being crushed may not seem like a big deal, many may even say that in this example that it is right to manage the expectations of a child. The aftermath of having a dream crushed is that we now begin to be more careful about what we dream for, we begin to apply logic to our dreams and set up artificial barriers to the manifestation of our dreams.

So it goes, we grow up and along the way after enough dreams have been crushed, ridiculed, pushed aside, we get to the point where we don’t trust ourselves to dream which leads us to becoming stagnant, which places us in a survival mode, rather than a “living” mode.

As adults we may find that we have a passion for something more, a dream of something we desire to do or be to have that very dream stepped on by the very people who are closest to us, such as our parents, spouses, lovers, friends and peers. Now these people normally don’t step on our dreams to be malicious, as a matter of fact if questioned about their dream stomping they would tell you that they were looking out for your best interest, they were simply being honest and saying what they say out of their deep love for you. They simply didn’t want you to get hurt.

Depending on your personality you may choose to ignore the dream stompers and move full steam ahead with pursuing your dreams rather than having the dream beat out of you or you may allow your dream to die based on the feedback of those close to you.

The key is to allow yourself to dream, allow yourself to visualize that which you desire and to understand the naysayers whom you may run into and that they do not know what you know and that you can achieve anything of which you dream as long as you don’t let the negative energy of others invade your dreams.

None of us like to think that we are stepping on another person’s dreams, however I suggest that along the line that you may have done just that. I know that I have been guilty of killing dreams. Note, not because that is what I meant to do, however I did none the less. I ask you to listen to what you are saying to others, are you a dream builder or a dream killer in what you say to those around you? By your words are you holding someone in life back, be it a child, spouse, friend, etc?

Next ask yourself, how can I be a dream builder for others? What can I do to aid others in achieving their dreams?

Remember, each and every day you make a difference in peoples lives; the question is what kind of difference do you make.

Categories: Uncategorized

Doing Good Versus Doing Nothing

November 21, 2009 tobeme 26 comments

“In my humdrum life, the daily battle hasn’t been good versus evil. It’s hardly so epic. Most days, my real battle is doing good versus doing nothing”

-         Deirdre Sullivan – (Attorney)

 

The above quote is very powerful! Deidre speaks the truth that many of us live. For most of us our day to day life is not about slaying dragons, it is not about protecting our homes and families from marauders and such.  We are rarely called upon to fight an epic battle with that which we perceive as evil. Rather in our daily life, the bigger question is our we “doing good” or are we doing nothing, just managing through the day, living a humdrum life where we choose to nothing instead of choosing to do that which we perceive as good.

It is valid to ask are we living on purpose, are we using all of our gifts to make this world a better place by being here. Most of us have many chances to enhance this world, to enhance the experience of others and to enhance our experience by doing “good” for ourselves and others however we often choose to do nothing.  We often choose to believe that someone else will take care of those things that we see and know need taken care of. We choose not to be bothered, we choose to do nothing.

We rationalize our decisions to not get involved, to not give to the beggar on the street, to not give our time to a local soup kitchen, to not give an old blanket, a coat or a pair of gloves. We say to ourselves things like, “Someone else will take care of these things”, “I would help but I don’t have the time” or “I work hard for my money and things, I am not giving anything to people who appear not to try”, etc, etc. There are many excuses we use to justify doing nothing; however in the end there is no true justification for doing nothing.

Doing nothing is doing something, it is in doing nothing that we close the doors to abundance for ourselves as well as our fellow man. The more we cling to our excuses for not doing “good”, the more shut off we become, the weaker our energy becomes and further from source we become.

We all know of people who will give their last dime to help another. We all recognize the love that people like this illustrate to us. We can feel their love when they are near, their energy radiates the room. It is this energy that warms the cold, brings a smile to a face and thaws a heart frozen by years of pain and feeling alone and that no one cares.

How many opportunities to do good do we allow to pass by in a day? How many times through our laziness or selfishness do we choose to nothing rather than choose to do good.

It is often so simple to do good. I was with a friend the other night and she bought a pair of gloves. I said, “Oh your buying some new gloves for yourself?” she said “No, not for me.” I said “Oh a gift for someone”, she said, “In a way. You know that one woman that we pass each morning on the sidewalk on the way into work?” I said I did. She said “It’s getting cold and I don’t think she has much, the last few days when it was cold I noticed she didn’t have any gloves and she was rubbing her hands together to keep warm, I am going to stick these gloves in my purse and give them to her the next time I see her”.

This was a wonderful example of someone choosing to do “good”! This person took two minutes out of her day and a $1.99 out of her pocket to help keep this woman’s hands warm. There are millions of ways we can do “good”, we simply have to raise our awareness and remove our excuses for doing nothing!

We are blessed, each and everyone of us!  How will you share your blessings today? What opportunities will you seize and share the love that you are to enhance this world and yourself?

Remember what you do does not have to be a grandiose effort; you don’t have to go out and make a great big splash. The good you do could be as simple as smiling at someone or helping them open the door or buying a cold stranger a hot cup of coffee. For it is not about the big things we do, it is about all the little things that add up to a big life!

Categories: Uncategorized

Distracted?

November 19, 2009 tobeme 26 comments

 

Do you have time to talk?”

 

“Sure, sit down and let’s talk”

 

“I have something that I am concerned about and”

 

Bing!

 

“Hold that thought, I have to respond to this email”

 

“Okay, you were saying”

 

Yes, well as I started to say

 

Buzz, Buzz, Buzz

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, just take a sec to text this person back”

Texting- “yep with her now, LOL Be back soon”

 

“Alright you have my full attention, now what is it that you are concerned about?”

 

Bing!

 

“Oh, I almost forgot I have a conference call in one minute that I must dial in to. Go ahead and talk, what are you concerned about?”

 

Mom, I have been trying to tell you that I am pregnant!”

 

 

Are you distracted, uh yes, I am asking you are you distracted in your day to day life? Your answer is probably is a big yes! Many of us live a distracted life. The technology that promised us a more productive life with more time for leisure has created a multitude of ways to distract us.  When you stop and think about all the distractions available in a day it is no wonder that we feel somewhat distracted. The phone is ringing, the text messages are flying, the emails never seem to end and then there is the allure of the Internet where we can easily distract ourselves as we update our Facebook, Twitter away, read blogs, look for the next great sale, keep connected on LinkedIn, check E-bay for something we must have, etc. Add to this that in many homes the television is never off and if it is we are plugged into our IPods; it is a wonder we can focus on any one thing at all. We have become a world of multi-taskers who are distracted to the point that we have lost touch with our true self, our friends, family and the world at large.

Note I am not knocking any of the technology that is available to us. I am a huge fan of technology; I use many of these things daily in a way that enhances my life. I am concerned that many people have become so distracted that they lose themselves in the distractions of life.

Often times we use distractions as a way to avoid that which we would rather not face. The thought is if I keep myself busy I won’t have to face my responsibilities or that I won’t have time to look within for fear of what I might discover about myself. The distractions become like a drug that numbs our minds, which helps us to suppress emotions that we fear experiencing.

These distractions also prevent us from connecting to other people in our life in a real way. Yes we may know what there doing because we can gather that from their Facebook or Twitter page and may even leave a message on their “wall”; however we are not really connecting at the level that we as loving beings need to connect.

Being distracted hurts our relationships, it hurts our relationships with those whom are closest to us and it hurts the most important relationship we have and that is our relationship with our self!

It is critical to our well being and growth and the well being of all that we take time each day to turn off all of the noise and remove the distractions from our life. We must make a conscious effort to hear the silence. We must make a conscious effort to connect with ourselves and others in our life by disconnecting from all of the distractions for a period of time each day.

Love yourself enough and love others enough to give undivided attention. When someone comes over to visit shut off the TV, turn off the cell phone and have a conversation and build a true connection.

At work, when someone comes into your office to talk, turn off the monitor, take the phone off the hook, turn off or ignore your cell phone and have a conversation and build a true connection with each other.

Make time for yourself each day where you disconnect and remove the distractions from your life in order that you may hear the silence and travel within to discover the most amazing of places, the most exhilarating experiences, to know the pure love whom you are. Embrace the opportunity to truly remember who you are!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized

Let’s Kick Some Buts! What Are You Waiting For?

November 17, 2009 tobeme 38 comments

 

I hear many people say that they are ready to make a change in their life but they feel they have to wait until something happens, until they meet someone, until they have enough money, until the kids are grown, until they have the right position at work, until they get out of their current relationship, until after the holidays, until it warms up, until the economy gets better, etc, etc, etc.

Many people say they want to make a change in their life and then they say “but it’s not the right time”.  We often give lip service to making changes don’t we?  We have a deep realization that we need to make some changes and we may even acknowledge that we need to make changes however in the light of day we find excuses as to why we can’t make the change today.

There are hundreds of reasons we can come up with to not make the changes that we desire to make. The root reason that we don’t make changes that we need to make, in fact desire to make is fear. What do we fear? We fear that the change will make us uncomfortable, that it will take effort and the really big one that making a change will change who we are, that is who we define ourselves to be. We all see ourselves as we are and we fear that as we make changes in our life that we may somehow lose who we are.  Let’s face it we have spent a lifetime becoming who we are and even though we may recognize the need and even have the desire to change some things about our self we can be fearful that somehow we will become lost; that we will somehow lose our identity. So instead of making the changes we unconsciously cling on to who we believe we are, we cling on to old habits and rituals, we cling on to traits that no longer serve us and we wait for the “right” time to make the changes.

 

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.”

Napoleon Hill
1883-1970, Author

 

 

We also may look at our life in review and say “Well I may not be perfect however life has worked out pretty well for me. “These things that I think I should change have served me pretty well as they have brought me to this level of success so why should I mess with what has worked for me?” Great question, however it is faulty logic. What got us here is not what will get us there, that is to say that just because you have been successful with the tools that you used does not mean that those same tools will help you to achieve the next level of success.

We must always be looking for new or different tools, new or different ways of thinking, new or different ways of experiencing this journey because this is how we truly grow. When we do this consciously it is amazing how good change feels, how liberating it is to let go of even that which has served us in the past.

What “buts” do you need to kick today?  What “buts’ are you allowing to stand in your way, to give you a false sense of comfort, to hold you back from making the changes in your life which will propel you to be the you that you were created to be?

I challenge each of us to go out and kick some “buts” today! When you remove the “buts” from your language, from your thoughts you will then be positioned to make the changes you need and desire to make.

The “right” time is now! The only time is “now”.  Do it now! There is no waiting for the “right time” for the right time is here, it is now!

Think about what you are putting off, close your eyes and feel it inside and feel the eruption of emotion as you feel your chest swell as you feel yourself truly taking the first steps to make the changes that you want to make. Remember this feeling for it will be the fuel that propels you to make the changes that you desire and be the fuel that sustains the changes you do make!

Categories: Uncategorized

“It Is Just My Luck …”

November 14, 2009 tobeme 34 comments

anvil falling

 

We often hear people say things like “That’s just my luck” or “These things always happen to me” or “With my luck …”. The interesting thing is that these statements are almost always made in reference to something that has not gone the way we would have wanted it to or to explain that we don’t expect things to work out the way we want them to.

I cringe every time I hear someone use one of these types of statements. I cringe because unknowingly when someone says that it is “Just my luck that something bad will happen” they are simply reinforcing that which they don’t desire!  Note it’s not the power of the words that make these statements so prophetic; it is the emotion behind the thoughts and the words. People truly do walk around waiting for a proverbial anvil to fall on their head. Why, because “that is just their luck”. Ugh!

The reality is that when we feel and say a statement like this over and over again we might as well be asking the Universe directly to bring what we perceive as misfortune upon us. We receive that which we ask for; we receive that which we attach emotion to. The Universe does not distinguish between what we perceive as good or bad, the Universe simply delivers based on the energy that we transmit.

Once you understand and accept that your emotions coupled with your thoughts have the power to create your reality you then begin to understand the impact of believing that “It’s just your luck …”

Next time you hear yourself begin to feel and utter this thought, catch yourself and turn your thought around. You can acknowledge to yourself that in some way you have attracted that into your life which you don’t desire and then say to yourself, “I am not doing this anymore, I live a blessed life and I now attract blessings and wonderment into my life!” The key is that the words themselves will not attract anything; it is the emotions behind your thoughts which create your world!

Amazing things happen to me on a daily basis, and you will often hear me respond to other people, “I live a blessed life” or “That is how my life works”. I truly believe this, these are not empty words, I do live a blessed life and my life does work in amazing ways. The key is that this is no accident, this is the result of understanding the power of my emotions and thoughts and being aware, being conscious. I live a purposeful life and this life is a splendid adventure for me.

The really great thing is that I do not have any secrets or any special tools that make my life great. Each of us has the innate power to create a journey that we love! We each are endowed with incredible gifts. We are each eternal energy. We each emit energy which impacts not only are own journey but also the journey of everyone else, for in the end we are all one.

Know your power, embrace your power, and understand that you real power lies in the core of who you are which is LOVE! In love all things are possible! Have the courage to believe in the possibilities!

Categories: Uncategorized

Will Do Windows

November 11, 2009 tobeme 25 comments

do windows

Over the years I have interviewed hundreds of people for open positions, both external and internal candidates. One sure thing that kills an interview for me is when the applicant says something that indicates they are not flexible, that they have conditions that indicate that they would not be willing to step up to the plate when asked to perform a task that is outside the scope of their general job responsibilities. I refer to these type of people as ones “who won’t do windows”.

I remember from old movies and TV shows when the family would be interviewing potential housekeepers there was a line that was often stated by the would be housekeeper which was “I will do everything that you ask, however I don’t do windows!” This line “I don’t do windows” has stuck with me and now I use it to quickly describe someone who is inflexible.

Recently my company reorganized the area of the organization in which I work. I received a call at 4:00 PM that I had to drive 4 hours to be interviewed for a new position within the new organizational structure at 10:00 AM the next morning. As my mind raced and I mentally prepared to be interviewed I kept reminding myself that “I do windows”. One of the key points I wanted to make in the interview was that I do windows, meaning that I am versatile and flexible, willing to do what I would be called on to do even if sometimes that fell beyond what I was hired to do. I wanted to demonstrate that I was flexible and that I could quickly adapt to the ever changing landscape of the corporate world, that I was willing to carry the water so to speak.

I have survived numerous re-organizations which always meant layoffs largely in part because I was willing to adapt to the changes, that I was willing to take on tasks without allowing my ego to get in the way.

Through these reorgs I have seen many a colleague lose or walk away from their job because their ego got in the way. Some were offered what were considered lower positions at the same pay and walked away only to take a lower position at another company. Some walked away because they were insulted that they had to give up an office and work in a cubicle only to work in a cubicle at another company. Some left because they were asked to do things that were outside their normal scope of responsibilities.

This “I don’t do windows” is not limited to the work place. I see this pervasive attitude impact many relationships also. In many relationships we take on roles and responsibilities and some people become rigid about what they should and shouldn’t do. One person in the relationship may see that he trash is overflowing, however it is “not their job” to take out the trash; another may see that the sink is overflowing with dirty dishes, however “it is not their job”. In both cases the person waits for the other person to do the task and causes frustration for the other party.

When we become rigid in what our roles and responsibilities in life are we limit our experience and in the course of limiting our experience we also paint a limited perspective of who we are for other people.

Consider for a moment if you will the tasks that others do that you won’t do because you believe these tasks are beneath you or because they simply are “not your job”. What message are you sending to your co-workers, your significant other, your friends, your parents? More importantly what message are you sending to yourself? What mindset are you building about yourself and how is this mindset “that you don’t do windows” limiting your growth potential?

There is an old saying

“Before enlightenment, I chop wood and carry water, after enlightenment I chop wood and carry water”.

How can you apply this to your daily life, to your work, to your relationships?  Do you somehow believe that you have risen above certain tasks in you life, or risen above certain experiences because of your stature?

I ask you today to practice humility and be open to “doing windows”!

Categories: Uncategorized

What Life Experince Are You Creating?

November 9, 2009 tobeme 32 comments

perspective

The other morning it was chilly and I reached into the closet to grab a jacket. As I took the jacket off the hanger the jacket felt heavier than it should like something was in the pockets. I reached into the jacket pocket and much to my surprise I discovered a set of keys that I had lost last spring. Now it is very unusual for me to lose anything let alone a big set of keys, however last spring after returning from a funeral I could not find my keys. I searched high and low and I believed I went through all of my coat pockets and I was unable to find the set of keys. I thought maybe I lost them at the funeral, maybe left them sitting on the pew at church or on the table at the post funeral gathering with the family. I even wondered if somehow they had found themselves into the grave because they never turned up. I had a spare set of keys so I did not replace the lost ones. One car key in particular would have cost $150.00 to replace and I did not want to put out $150.00 for one key so I waited believing the keys would show up someday. Well that someday came and there they were in my pocket, ha!  I wondered how they got there, how I could have missed them last spring when I was searching for them. Never the less, I now found them and was delighted. I exclaimed to a friend how fortunate I was to find this set of keys!

That same night when I came home from work I went down to the basement to look for something. As I was walking through the basement I noticed some water on the floor, I looked around and found the source of the water was a steady drip from the main pipe that brought water into the house. I could see that there was rust around the joint where it was leaking. I put my finger up to the drip and touched the rusting pipe. My touch dislodged a piece of the rust and the drip turned to a forceful spray which was now giving me an unexpected shower! I quickly looked for a shut off valve which was close at hand, as I turned the shut off valve it started to leak water a steady rate. Now I had two leaks! I then went and found the main shut off valve and turned all of the water coming into the house off.leaky pipe

At this time it is going on eight o’clock in the evening. It is going to be a cold night and my heat is radiator steam heat meaning I need to have water to keep the house warm. This was not something that was within my talents to fix therefore I had to call a plumber and be charged for an after hours emergency call which I knew would be costly. I felt a little frustrated as I thumbed through the phone book to find a plumber that would come out and fix my leaks.  As I was looking for a plumber my friend whom I excitedly told about finding my keys that very morning called. I quickly explained the plumbing situation and she said, “Well that balances out your day, you found your keys this morning and now you have a big plumbing problem, that’s the way it works, get something good and something bad happens to balance it out”.

This declaration of expected duality made me stop and ponder my situation. I thought to myself is this plumbing issue a bad thing, is it pay back for finding my keys? As I assessed what was happening I quickly came to the conclusion that no, this was not a bad thing. As a matter of fact this was a continuation of a great day! In the morning I found my long lost keys and now I discovered a leak which must be repaired. The fact is had I not went down to the basement when I did I would have most likely woke up to a massive leak and a flooded basement in the next couple of days. I would have had to deal with wading through water, pumping the water out of my basement and then deal with all the damage the water would have caused to the multitude of boxes I have stored in the basement! The cost of this would have been extreme in comparison to the cost of the minor leaks that had to be repaired that night.

You see there was no duality at work here; there was no balancing out the fact that I found my keys! I live a blessed life and this was simply another blessing. I simply had to shift my perspective to understand the blessing. I do live a blessed life! What seemed on the surface like a negative was really a huge positive.

I could have chosen a different perspective and reacted to the leak with anger and frustration. I could have yelled at the Universe in frustration and asked “why me?” I could have chosen to allow my emotions to spill over onto others and take my frustrations out on anyone who got in my way.  I could have tossed and turned all night as I seethed with anger over the situation.  I could have as my friend suggested accepted that when something good happens that something bad happens to balance it out. I could have taken the pipe leaking personally. I could have seen this as a negative event.

I could have … however what good would it have done, how would taking the negative perspective serve me? The truth is it would not have served me, taking the negative path would have caused a disservice to me. In the short term and the long term I would have created and perpetuated negative energy into my life and in doing so I would have most likely attracted more of what I did not truly desire.

Each time we react to what is happening in our life, we have a choice of perspective and therefore the choice to create the world we desire. Passionately expect to live a blessed life and that is what you create. Passionately expect bad things to happen, that bad things have to happen to balance out the good and that is the life experience that you create!

The choice is yours! What life experience are you creating?

Categories: Uncategorized

Repairing The Damage Which We Created – Making Amends

November 6, 2009 tobeme 31 comments

forgivness

There are times in our life where our words/actions cause pain, damage or angst for other people. Sometimes we do this on purpose because we are angry or hurt and sometimes we do this indirectly because we were not thinking about the other people in our life or because we did not realize the impact our words/actions were having on another person.  Interesting enough it is often the people who are closest to us that we tend to hurt with our words/actions.

When we realize that we have caused pain to another with our words/actions we have some choices to make. We can take the path that we simply don’t care if the other person was in some way hurt by what we said or did and in some cases we may even feel that the hurt  we caused was justified (Note, causing harm to another is never truly justified). We can take the path where we acknowledge the damage we have caused and offer an apology. An apology is often a good start; however most of us have been in a position where we say “Saying sorry just isn’t good enough!”

What does it mean when someone says or feels that “Sorry isn’t good enough”? When we say this it means that we feel the apology is hollow, it lacks substance, it doesn’t repair the hurt. Often times apologizes do come across as empty; this is especially true when someone says they are sorry all of the time or when they say they are sorry for the same thing  they said they were sorry for ten times before.

Even the most sincere apology often falls short of repairing the damage which was done by ones words/actions. Many people have said they are sorry for their words/actions however after the apology they continue to walk around carrying quilt about the hurt they created. This continuance of guilt and the fact that the damage was not truly repaired is very real and it is not because the person is not truly remorseful it is because they have not backed their apology up with any action.

When we back an apology up with action that is called making amends. Making amends is so much more powerful than offering an apology. Making amends not only helps us clear the guilt from our soul it also and more importantly helps to repair that damage which was caused by our words/actions. We don’t hear much about people making amends and sometimes we call making amends by another name, we sometimes mistakenly call making amends punishment. This is apparent in correcting behavior of our children. For example a child shoplifts something from the local store and the parent discovers what the child did.  The child is sorry. The parent takes the child back to the store, makes the child give back the stolen item and apologize to the store and also has the child show up at the store for the next two weekends to stock shelves and sweep the floors as punishment. By having the child go to the store on the weekends and do some manual work we are having the child make amends and in doing so helping them to learn a valuable lesson.  The true lesson here for the child is not they must be punished rather that it is important to make amends, that is, to repair the damage that they created.

There are many ways we can make amends. Sometimes the way we make amends is by changing our behavior ensuring that we don’t cause the same hurt. An example may be the hurt a person caused because they decided to go out after work and didn’t call to tell their spouse that they were going to be late which caused the spouse to worry needlessly or caused plans for the evening to be ruined. One can say they are sorry which is a good first step however the way to make amends is to change this behavior and to not allow it to happen again. Making amends in this case is the action of picking up the phone and communicating plans with the spouse.

Making amends can get tricky. Sometimes the hurt or damage that we created can not be repaired directly. For instance, maybe we made some type of decision that created a rift between our self and our Father and because of this we didn’t speak or visit for the last five years of their life. Now they are dead and we are very sorry for the time that we missed with them, we are sorry because we were not there in their final years when they needed our help. They are no longer physically here, we are sorry, we offer up an apology to their spirit however how do we make amends? Again making amends is taking action. In this case we could make amends by spending time with the elderly in a nursing home or we could become a member of hospice and help those who are in their last days and their families through the transition of the end of this mortal body.  By taking action we are making amends.

It is also important to make amends to our self. Sometimes we cause hurt and damage our self. It is important that we make amends to ourselves to repair the hurt and damage that we created for our self!

When do you make amends? You make amends today! Do not wait; you have carried the guilt of the hurt/damage that you created around long enough. Consider today what amends you want to make. You can be creative when making amends, think about creative ways you can make amends to those in your life whom you have directly or indirectly hurt.

One may consider making amends yet hesitate to do so because you believe the person will never forgive you, do it anyway! Being forgiven is not the ultimate purpose of making amends. The ultimate purpose of making amends is to repair that damage which we have caused.

Love doe not seek approval or forgiveness, love simply is. Be Love in all of your thoughts, words and actions!

 

Categories: Uncategorized

Rule # 6

November 4, 2009 tobeme 34 comments

Serious

In our day to day life it is easy to get caught up in the passions of what we are doing. Be it work, be it a relationship, be it keeping the house clean, etc. We take these things in our life seriously and for good reason, they are important to us. Many people put blood, sweat and tears into their work, their relationships, keeping a clean and orderly home, raising their children, practicing their beliefs, etc.  Sometimes our passion grows to a point where we explode when things don’t go as we think they should. Read the following parable:

 

Two prime ministers are sitting in a room discussing affairs of state. Suddenly a man bursts in, apoplectic with fury, shouting and stamping and banging his fist on the desk.

The resident prime minister admonishes him: “Peter,” he says, “kindly remember Rule Number 6,” whereupon Peter is instantly restored to complete calm, apologizes, and withdraws.

The politicians return to their conversation, only to be interrupted yet again twenty minutes later by a hysterical woman gesticulating wildly, her hair flying. Again the intruder is greeted with the words: “Marie, please remember Rule Number 6.” Complete calm descends once more, and she too withdraws with a bow and an apology.

When the scene is repeated for a third time, the visiting prime minister addresses his colleague: “My dear friend, I’ve seen many things in my life, but never anything as remarkable as this. Would you be willing to share with me the secret of Rule Number 6?”

“Very simple,” replies the resident prime minister. “Rule Number 6 is ‘Don’t take yourself so damn seriously.’”

“Ah,” says his visitor, “that is a fine rule.” After a moment of pondering, he inquires, “And what, may I ask, are the other rules?”

“There aren’t any.”

-         Author Unknown

Simply stated sometimes we allow our passions to override the fact that we shouldn’t take ourselves all that seriously. Sometimes we become so serious about an aspect of our life that we forget to allow ourselves to relax, we forget that in the end while what we are doing is serious business that we don’t need to take ourselves so seriously, that we need to allow some room for error, allow room for change, allow room to relax and see the humor and greater purpose in that which we are doing.

Rule number 6 illustrates very well that we ought not take ourselves so seriously, that everything that does not go as we want it to is not a tragedy or a reason to become upset and in turn upset others in our life. Our emotions are a powerful force which emits an amazing level of energy which impacts not only our self but all of us.

When we take ourselves too seriously we are coming from ego. Ego takes itself very seriously, however our ego is paper thin, it has no real depth and therefore when our ego feels threatened we tend to respond by getting loud, by emoting frustration, anger, disgust, etc. In short we violate rule number 6 and we take ourselves too seriously.

Today, when things don’t go as expected at work, when your spouse forgets to do something, when the glass of grape juice gets spilled on the new carpet, when the car needs an unexpected repair, remember rule number 6, take a breath and remember to smile as you choose to not take yourself so damn seriously.

laugh

 

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What Is Your Purpose?

November 2, 2009 tobeme 36 comments

purpose 3

There are many, many people among us who are questioning what their purpose is. People from all walks of life question what their purpose is. As we delve into spiritual teachings we often here about “purpose”. Again we question, “What is my purpose?”, “why am I here?”, “How do I find my purpose?”  We hear people saying that they are seeking their purpose, that the feel lost and without purpose. “What is my purpose” is a prolific question in our culture.

We look at people like Mother Theresa, Albert Einstein, the Dali Lama, Louis Pasteur and others and we say that they have found and lived their purpose. We then ask “so what is my purpose and how will I know when I have found my purpose”

I suggest to you that you are living your purpose right now. We all are living our purpose! We don’t need to seek our purpose for we are living our purpose. Our purpose is to experience life in this form. This is our ultimate purpose. Each of us is experiencing life in this form therefore each of us is living our purpose. Your purpose is to live, to experience this life in all of its splendor. If by experiencing this thing we call life, you develop a cure for AIDs or you develop a no cost, pollution free fuel then that is wonderful and this will be part of your purpose, however your purpose is not limited to your achievements.

I believe many get caught up in believing that “our purpose” is going to be some grandiose thing and that we will have some sort of epiphany when we discover our true purpose. I say to you that this is your purpose, and it is a grandiose thing! This part of our journey in human form that we so often take for granted is a minute by minute miracle and is grander that we believe. When you stop to think about what we are and the miracle of life you then become aware and have to ask yourself what greater purpose is there but to simply be, to be and experience this part of our journey!

You may be or know someone who is in what you perceive as a bad situation, maybe that person is in jail, battling a terminal disease, living a life of violence, hooked on drugs and you ask, how can this be their purpose? Is this their purpose? I say to you, yes, their purpose is to experience life, to experience this journey and though it may not be what we perceive to be a good experience it is experiencing life none the less, therefore even someone in this type of situation is living on purpose.

We may not always understand why we are experiencing the things that we experience, however there is always purpose, even if it is beyond are awareness at the moment. Consider the drug addict who hits rock bottom, rehabilitates and becomes a youth a counselor, consider the young criminal who gets caught, sees another path and becomes a protector of his/her community. Consider your experiences; consider the ones that at the time you perceived as negative, wondering why that particular experience was happening in your life. Can you now look back and understand how those experiences brought you to where you are today? I would bet there are some experiences that you can now see the purpose of and still others which have yet been understood.

Know that your purpose is to experience this life, to experience this leg of your journey. Live and do not worry that you are not living on purpose for you are. Live and experience life for that is your purpose!

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