What Does a Rose, a Lamp and a Tree Have in Common?

“Is it possible for the rose to say, “I will give my fragrance to the good people who smell me, but I will withhold it from the bad?” Or is it possible for the lamp to say, “I will give my light to the good people in this room, but I will withhold it from the evil people”? Or can a tree say, “I’ll give my shade to the good people who rest under me, but I will withhold it from the bad”? These are images of what love is about”

- Anthony de Mello

The above quote speaks great wisdom. Love does not discern between good or evil; love does not judge who is to be loved and who is to be hated. Love does not hold back its energy to punish another.

Our core essence is love, we are love, we are from source which is love. We do not need to learn how to be love for that is what we are, we simply must remember what we are, we must remember that we are love!

There come many opportunities in our life where we may gravitate to make a judgment of another and the result of that judgment may be to withhold our love or to dole it out in rations. There may even be times where we fear loving others fully and unconditionally because we may get hurt or our love may not be reciprocated. We may even fear loving another because in some perverse way we feel that the other person cannot handle our love or that our love may somehow make them feel bad about themselves. I suggest to you that pure love is never hurtful even if in the short run the other person seems in some way to be hurt or diminished by our love know that this is only a response of their ego and that your love will penetrate beyond the fragile ego and created healing and good.

Where in your life are you withholding the love that you are? Who and what in your life are you avoiding because you believe that your love will not be accepted for what it is?

Today I strive to be the tree and provide shade to all, be the lamp or the Sun and provide light and warmth to all and to be the rose and share my fragrance with all.

Who among us has not benefited from the unconditional giving of the tree, the lamp, the rose?

May we all to remember to be the love that we are!

You Are Worthy of Ever Lasting Love, Joy and Abundance!

Have you ever heard yourself saying “Everything is going so well, it cannot last, I know that something is going to happen to spoil this feeling” or have you ever felt guilty because you are too happy or have too much abundance? Have you ever felt happy or had such abundance that you said to yourself that you are not worthy of so much abundance in your life? Have you at times felt guilty for the abundance in your life when so many others seem to not live a life of abundance?

We are interesting beings? We strive for happiness, love, success, abundance and then when we begin to feel that we have all of these things we then question weather or not we deserve it and we begin to anticipate when the bottom will fall out of it all believing that all of the joy cannot last forever and something will come along to knock the joy that we are experiencing out of our life.

We sometimes even believe that if we express that we are enjoying our life too much we might jinx what we have found and in doing so we somehow invite some sort of power into our life which will take the joy away. Where does this type of superstitious thought come from? The thought that our joy cannot last stems from an underlying belief that we are not deserving of everlasting joy and that if our joy is greater than the joy of others that we should feel guilty for being joyful.

Here is what we have forgotten; we are joyful beings! We have forgotten that we are of divine source and that our core being is love and that we are worthy of all the joy, love and abundance that we experience. As a matter of fact we are worthy of all of the joy, love and abundance that we have yet to experience! There is no one on this earth that is unworthy of feeling exuberant with joy, with love and abundance.

One may find themselves saying that they don’t deserve to feel joyful because of some past thoughts or actions. If you are feeling guilty and undeserving of joy because of your past then you are not living in the “now”. Undermining your joy because of what has already transpired does not serve you, it does not serve the world, nor does it serve Universe, Source, God!  We must let go of that which has gone before and live today in unbridled and unencumbered joy.

Feeling guilty because your joy, love and abundance seems greater than others does not serve to help you help those who have yet to remember the level of  love, joy and abundance that you have remembered and manifested into your life. It is your love, your joy and your abundance that enables you to help others, to help them remember the love, joy and abundance which is them and therefore manifest a never ending joy into their lives.

Life is not to be lived by always looking over your shoulder waiting for the thing that will kill your joy, which will undercut your abundance or in some way undermine the love that you are experiencing! Instead of always waiting for something nefarious to happen, change your expectation to that of more joy, more love, more abundance!

Trust that when you live in spirit that the love, joy and abundance that you feel and experience will spill over to others and that you will create love, joy and abundance for others. Living a life of this consciousness will not only elevate you, it will impact this entire universe and do so in a way that creates a wondrous journey for us all.

Know this, you can never be too joyful, be too loving or have too much abundance! Remember that you are worthy of never ending love, joy and abundance! Do not deny yourself the love, joy and abundance that are yours to experience.

Remember also that you create your experience through your thoughts and it is through your thoughts that you will create unending joy, love and abundance and also it is your thoughts that can cause you to create that which can undermine all of the joy in your life.

Choose to know that you can create a life of everlasting joy, love and abundance!

What Defines You?

“What do you do?” This is probably the number one question that is asked as people meet each other for the first time as they attempt to spur a conversation and get to know someone.  We have become a culture of people who are often judged by their job titles, what company we work for, how nice our business card looks and feels and it is in part why we tend to become defined by what we do for a living rather than who we are. In many cultures who we are is defined by what we do.

This is very much on my mind this week because of what has happened in my life for the last 7 days. The company I work for is going through a major reorganization of departments. As often happens when a company is going through a reorganization of departments jobs/responsibilities shift and inevitably some positions are eliminated. Once the reorganization was announced most people became tense as their future with the company came into question. People were concerned as to how the reorganization of departments would affect them, would they have different responsibilities, would their pay be effected or worst yet would their position be eliminated? All of these are valid concerns. Facing the prospect of not having your job is a serious matter that can have major impacts on ones lifestyle and the lifestyle of ones family.

As we hung in limbo for a few days waiting to see how we each would be impacted by the changes of the reorganization many people were experiencing a sea of emotions, mostly worry and anger. One could hear the worry and anger in people’s voices as they considered the possibilities of what was to come. On the fourth day of waiting a person whom I work with called to discuss what was happening. There was much concern in her voice about the possibilities of what was to come.  This person then stopped and asked me why she didn’t hear the same level of concern in my voice. She said, “you are in the same situation are you don’t sound concerned”. I said “Yes, I am concerned, yet I am not consumed by what may happen. The reason that you don’t hear heavy concern in my voice is because I am not defined by my job. I am who I am today and I will be who I am if I don’t have this job. I am not defined by what I do or what I own. I went on to say “Believe me; my lifestyle will be significantly impacted if I lose my job. I have bills that I won’t be able to pay, I will have to change my lifestyle in significant ways however I know that I will still be intact. I will not change as a person because I have to change jobs or because I have to change my lifestyle”.

The bottom line is I am my authentic self, I am love. I am not what I do or what I own. When we are able to detach from the externals in our life, be that our job, the things we own, the money in our pocket, who we are in a relationship with or the state of our form then we are able be our authentic self at all times and know that our authentic self does not alter because of that which is external to us. Knowing and living from our authentic self frees us to know that all will be as it is supposed to be, all things happen for a reason and that every step we take leads us to the next adventure even when we cannot see beyond the immediate horizon.

I trust that the best is always yet to come and that I am here now at all times for that is the only time and place that I can ever be. It is through our consciousness that we can affect change within our life and all that happens within the universe. Live an authentic life, know that you can choose to change the world and not allow the world to change you.

The Language of the Universe – Are You Listening?

Last week I had to make an unexpected trip to Rochester, New York to attend an early morning meeting. I decided to drive the three and a half hour trip the night before, check into a hotel and get a good nights rest so that I would be refreshed and ready to go for the morning meeting. I had only been to Rochester once before and that was about five years ago so I didn’t have a good feel for where I was going. I got up the next morning, checked out of the hotel, looked at a map and tried to map my route to the building I was going to. I thought I knew where I was going, however Rochester proved to have many one way streets and some construction and before I knew it I was all turned around.  I drove around town trying to make sense of the map and where I was going. I was going around in circles trying to find my way. No problem, I had given myself plenty of time and was in no hurry. After driving around the town a couple of times I started to figure out the way the streets were laid out and my confidence that I was heading in the right direction started to build. I pulled up to a red traffic light, not sure where I was when I looked to my left and I saw the building that I was looking for with the big corporate logo on it, I smiled, within a second of seeing the building, a truck crosses the road in front of me, the truck had the same corporate name written all over it and it was heading right for the building I was going to. I found this to be too funny, I know the truck was a sign, it was there to help me find the building, it was too funny because the universe sent the sign just a few seconds too late because I had already found the building on my own. I said aloud to the universe “Thank-you, a little late, however I appreciate the effort, thank-you”.

The truck was a sign, no doubt in my mind. We often talk here about the big things in life, the stuff of life and death, etc. I think it is important to remember that the language of the universe does not only deal in the “big stuff” it also deals in the small stuff like helping me to find my way to a designation, or helping me find my misplaced keys or having me take the wrong turn only to find out that my unplanned detour helped me to avoid construction which would have delayed me.

The universe speaks to us throughout the day and if we are open to the language of the universe than we will be able to understand the language of the universe. It is funny that many people expect to be communicated to in a very direct manner. It sure would be nice to have more direct communication and it may even make the journey easier. We forget though even though we have the ability to communicate directly in our everyday relationships we don’t choose to communicate directly. We often communicate in code, be it body language, facial expressions, indirect hints, symbols, etc. If this is how we communicate than why should we expect God/The Universe to communicate to us in a more direct manner? The universe does communicate with us in many ways and when we are open to communication that comes in various forms such as signs than we will see that we are often being helped along the way.

There was a man called him Jim, who lived near a river. Jim was a very religious man.

One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat comes along and tells Jim to get in the boat with him. Jim says “No, that’s ok. God will take care of me.” So, the man in the boat drives off.

The water rises, so Jim climbs onto his roof. At that time, another boat comes along and the person in that one tells Jim to get in. Jim replies, “No, that’s ok. God will take care of me.” The person in the boat then leaves.

The water rises even more, and Jim climbs on his chimney. Then a helicopter comes and lowers a ladder. The woman in the helicopter tells Jim to climb up the ladder and get in. Jim tells her “That’s ok.” The woman says “Are you sure?” Jim says, “Yeah, I’m sure God will take care of me.

Finally, the water rises too high and Jim drowns. Jim gets up to Heaven and is face-to-face with God. Jim says to God “You told me you would take care of me!
What happened?”

God replied “Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?”

What signs are you missing because you believe you know exactly what the communication will look and feel like? What signs are you missing because you simply are moving too fast or because your arrogance gets in the way of allowing the Universe to help you? What subtle signs are you ignoring that may help you to make better decisions or simply make your day easier? Many people ignore all kinds of signs that could help them. We choose to allow our ego to be in complete control and our ego always says it knows better and chooses to not see or to ignore the signs which are provided us.

Sometimes these signs come in the form of our intuition. Are you tuned in to your own intuition? Do you act upon your intuition?

I heard a person the other night talking about how we choose to ignore our intuition and he gave a great example. He was talking mainly to women and he asked have you ever been in a building at night waiting for the elevator and when the elevator doors open you look in an notice there is only one person in the elevator, a man and you get that eerie feeling that you shouldn’t get on the elevator that you should simply walk away? Many people have been in this situation or something similar. He then asked, “Did you walk away or did you get on the elevator despite what your intuition was telling you because you did not want to appear rude or you did not want to hurt a strangers feelings by not getting on?”  He went on to say that the majority of women in this situation chose to go against their intuition and get on the elevator. Crazy right! This is a great example of how we ignore or miss the signs.

Be open to the language of God/The Universe and understand that the language is direct yet it will come in many forms, sometimes in the internal voice of your self, sometimes through the voice of a child or a stranger on the street and often times as physical signs ones that will be recognizable to you only if you are aware.

I encourage you today to take it all in and listen to the language of the universe with all of your senses!

Relationship Myth: I Can Change Him/Her!

A friend of mine stopped by last night to talk. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, AGAIN! She told me that he was verbally abusive to her, highly controlling, jealous and that she feared that the verbal abuse would escalate to physical abuse. Now I know she has been with this guy for about three years. I also know that she has broken up with him many times before and it is always the same story as to why.

I asked her, “So let me ask you, you have been down this road a few times and your story is always the same, however you keep getting back together with him. Why do think that is?” At first she mumbled that she didn’t know. I said “To me it seems that either you think he will change or that you are a drama queen and enjoy the constant drama that this relationship provides in your life”. To which she said, “You are right, I do think I am going to be able to change him; I do think that I am able to get him to grow up and when I break up with him he always calls me and convinces me that he is ready to change and that he will change. I choose to believe that “this time” he is sincere and really wants to change, and he does, however it doesn’t last, sometimes days, weeks , once even a month went by and then he is right back to the way he was before”.

I pointed out to her that she kept saying that she thought she could change him. I asked her if she really thought she could change anyone. I reminded her that no one has the ability to change anyone else, change is internal and the only true change that happens is when a person truly wants to make a change and no matter how many times we nudge, push, talk, yell, scream, break-up, we will not make a person change.

I then asked what our some of the other reasons that you keep getting back together with this guy?  She didn’t answer. I asked “could it be that you go back with him because you are comfortable with him?” To which her eyes lit up and she said, “Yes that is a big part of it, I am comfortable with him”. I said, “So you are saying that you are comfortable being abused”. She said, “Yes, I guess I am, in ways I have been verbally abused all of my life, so yes I am comfortable with the abuse up to a certain point. I don’t know anything different …” she pauses … and quietly says “I don’t know if I am worthy of anything better. I am also afraid that I won’t find someone else, that no one else will want me”.

Is your heart breaking for her yet, I know mine was for I have heard this same story from so many people before in my life, mostly from women. This twenty something woman was expressing such classic feelings that people express when they are in a toxic relationship. She sees the red flags, she knows deep down that the changes he makes are at best temporary and yet she continues to allow him back into her life over and over again.

The question is how does she break the cycle that she is in. How does this break-up with him become the final break-up with him and how does she make changes within herself to attract a person into her life who will not be abusive towards her?

She cannot change him, she never will change him so what can she change? She can change herself. She can remember that she is love, that she is worthy of love and being treated with respect and love. She can choose to end the cycle of abuse that she is in and has been in for most of her life.

Of course this is often easier said then done. To break this cycle of abuse takes inner work, courage and the ability to love ones self.  This young woman must find a way to first love who she is. She must turn inward and find her love for herself. She must summon the courage to be outside of relationship, to be in a zone where she is not comfortable. She must learn to enjoy her own company and not run back into this relationship or another relationship looking for the comfort and distraction of a relationship.  When we are not in a coupling we are forced to face ourselves, we have more time to look in the mirror and at first this can be a very strange and scary place to be. It takes courage, trust and love to work through this time of self discovery, doubt, fear, etc. The key is to be aware that we may feel these things at first and that is okay. It is okay to feel all the emotions associated with this type of change, it is okay to cry into your pillow or scream out loud as your emotions bubble up to the surface. It is also advisable to not go this alone, to find a friend, a family member, someone who is there for your to talk with, to cry with, someone who is there to lean on for support as you do the work of remembering the best part of you and that is the love that you are!

It is so very important to remember that we cannot force another person to change.

Trying to force another person to change is like trying to force apple juice out of an orange, you can squeeze that orange as hard as you want, as long as you want, however you are never going to get it to change and provide you apple juice.

Switching On Awareness

Have you ever walked through a dark room and stubbed your toe or tripped over furniture as you tried to maneuver around objects in the room? Now think about this, you probably had this experience in an environment that you are familiar with like your bedroom or living room. Now consider maneuvering through a dark room that you are not familiar with and instead of carefully taking small steps you are running; what happens? You most likely will run into more objects/obstructions and you will feel greater pain when you do. All in all most of us would agree that running through a darkened room full of objects that we could run into or trip over would not be a smart thing to do.

Even though we would agree that running through a dark room full of obstructions is a dim (pun intended) idea many people live their life this way. Many people live an unaware life moving at breakneck speed and in doing so inevitably run into obstructions which cause damage to their self.

“Understand the obstructions you are putting in the way of love, freedom, and happiness and they will drop. Turn on the light of awareness and the darkness will disappear. Happiness is not something you acquire; love is not something you produce; love is not something you have; love is something that has you”

- Anthony de Mello

When we are unaware, we might as well be sleep running through life! It is often because of our unawareness that we manifest all kinds of obstructions into our life and that we allow these obstructions to create havoc in our life.

When we become aware, it is as if you flicked the light switch on and flooded the room with light and it is this light which enables you to clearly see your path and all of the obstructions along the way. For some awareness is like the flicking on of a light switch, for others it is more like turning a dimmer switch and slowly bathing your life in light. Whichever way it works for you is okay, the key is that to truly experience that which you are here to experience in the most joyous way possible one must turn on the light of awareness.

Of course the light of awareness does not discriminate, it does not just shed light on that which we perceive as positive, it bathes everything of our world in light. This means that we have to summon up the courage to see all that lay before us, not just that which we perceive as “good”. In the dark, one can look in the mirror and never see what is there, in the light of awareness we must see what is truly in the mirror and accept that which we see as that which is real and if we don’t like what we see to be able to understand what actions we need to take to facilitate change and growth.

For me the light of awareness is like the dawning of a day. The light of awareness gradually envelopes my life, at first some things may remain in the shadows of the dawn, however as I increase my awareness the shadows begin to diminish and I am able to see more and more. When the light of awareness hits it’s apex I believe that is when I will shift from this level of being to the next. At the next level I will again go through another awakening, another process of bringing the light of awareness to full power so that I will understand what I am and the growth that I need to achieve.

One may ask, how do I switch on my light of awareness, how do I come to remember the love that is me, the happiness that is me? How do I flood my world with this light of awareness? The answer is quite simple, one must turn inward and come to remember and know your authentic self which is love. Each of us has the ability to become aware through shifting our thoughts and in doing so we are able to shift from ego (our false self) to a state of true being. It is when we make this shift that the darkness will fall away and we will come to know the power of our love and all that love is and attracts into our life!

Still not sure how to become aware? Begin by simply shifting your thoughts, words and actions to a perspective of love. Ask yourself, is what you are thinking, what you are saying, what you are doing an expression and motivation of love or is it coming from a place of ego, selfishness, greed, revenge, resentment, etc. Trust me, you will know the difference. Begin today to make the shift, become aware of your thoughts, words and actions and you will turn on the light of awareness which will flood your life with more joy than you can imagine!

Self Importance

“Self-importance is man’s greatest enemy. What weakens him is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of his fellow men. Self-importance requires that one spend most of one’s life offended by something or someone”

–Don Juan

Love yourself but don’t be conceited! Strive for success yet don’t become arrogant. Believe in yourself, yet don’t become too big for your britches! Take care of number one first but don’t lose your compassion for others! It all seems to be very confusing does it not? We sure do get mixed messages as we traverse through life. We spend a lot of time becoming what our culture and ourselves considers a success, what we may consider the winner, number one, yet along the way we are reminded to not be conceited, to not be too full of ourselves, to not get caught up in our self importance. Easy in theory, more difficult in practice.

For many it is very difficult to separate being successful from being self important. Many people tend to believe that one goes in hand with the other, that is, if I am successful in becoming number one, president of my company, gaining material wealth, etc that I am going to have to be caught up in this thing call self importance.

What is the problem with being “self important”? When we are caught up in our self importance we tend to sit upon our throne and pass judgement on everyone and everything else because we believe in a way that we are more important than others and therefore anyone who is not aligned with us is less important and deserving of our judgement and folly for our “good opinion and advice”. When we are in a place of self importance we tend to barricade ourselves in a fortress of ego and in doing so find that we do not let much love in nor do we allow much love out. If fact when we are enamoured with our self we tend to live an isolated life. When we are caught up in self importance, we also become very vulnerable to anything that may knock us off of our throne of self importance. This vulnerability manifests itself as fear, and we live our life in a defensive posture, fearing and fighting off anything which we believe would threaten our position of self importance.

Where in your life is your “self importance” getting in the way? Where in your life do you insist on sitting at the head of the table, always being in the driver’s seat, always in control, always being right? Where in your life does your self importance get in the way of being the love that you are? What can you do to give up your self importance?

Consider the simple act of sitting on the floor to play with a child and how that change in posture has such a positive impact on the interaction between the adult and the child. Consider the barriers that are removed when everyone in a group is wearing the same uniform and you can’t determine someone’s social position, their education or economic status?  Consider the humility that one would experience in the presence of God and you will begin to understand what it means to give up your self importance.

Now put this into practice, give up your self importance and be the love that you are without the restraints of the false self, without all of the judgment that comes from thinking you are better than anyone else. When you do this in your daily life you will find that you will grow stronger and that you will live an even more abundant life than before. You will not as some may fear become weaker for giving up your self importance; in fact you will come to know that your love is so much stronger and that it is because of your love that you will create unimagined successes in your life! The funny thing is that even though you will enjoy increased abundance you will care less and less about the very abundance that you receive.

May you learn to understand and live what it means for the first to be last and the last to be first as you live a life fuelled by love, a life that is of your authentic self!

“When the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box.”

– Italian proverb

“How Can I Help You?”

I was privileged to have the opportunity last week to take a trip into New York City to attend an evening lecture that was being given by an inspirational author. The day was full of more promise than usual because I was going to an event that I was truly looking forward to and because I was going to spend some time in one of my favorite cities in the world. I arrived in the early afternoon and checked into my hotel. As I checked in, the hotel staff informed me that I had been upgraded for free. Love how my life works! The hotel had upgraded me from a standard room to a sprawling suite! I could not have asked for better accommodations.  I spent the afternoon walking through the city, stopping in some shops and grabbing some food until it was time to attend the evening event.

Now I knew that the event would be great because the energy of the people attending would be at a very high vibration and because of who was speaking, however little did I know that a gift awaited me in the form of an unknown teacher.

I arrived early and secured a great seat, as I waited for the event to begin a gentleman took a seat next to me. He wore a long trench coat and a t-shirt that said “Be Inspired”.  I smiled at him; he sat there for a moment and then turned to introduce himself. When he began to speak I noted that he was having difficulty with his speech, much like someone who has suffered a stroke might have. He began by telling me his name and then he asked me “How can I help you? I know that I am here for a reason and that I am meeting you for a reason and I am curious if I am here to help you or if you are here to help me or if we are here to help each other”. I smiled as I took in this angel who was sitting next to me and I responded “I am not sure how you can help me” and we began to get to know each other. We talked about why we were at the event tonight, what we did in life, etc. In the course of our conversation this very positive man talked about the fact that he had a disability, he said that in ways we all have disabilities, some of ours like his are simply more noticeable.  This comment opened a door for me to ask him about his disability. He very openly told me how 29 years ago he was caught inside a building that was on fire and that he had suffered a traumatic brain injury due to being overcome by carbon monoxide which caused some brain damage which impacted some motor skills, mainly his speech and movement of his hands.

What was notable was that this gentleman never complained about what happened to him, he never used what happened to him as an excuse, as a matter of fact he related to me many successes he has had since his injury and his success goals for going forward.

Our conversation lasted no more than 15 minutes before the event started. As the event was about to begin, his final question to me was “How can I help you”, with tears in my eyes, I said “You already did help me today; you have inspired me more that you will ever know, thank-you!”

This amazing being understood so much about our purpose, one of the most obvious was that we are here to love and to serve each other. This was also a great reminder to all of us that teachers come in all kind of forms and that if we remain open to the possibilities that we can experience amazing moments like this one that I have just described. This experience is indelibly etched on my heart.

Consider the amazing doors you can open when you meet someone by asking the simple question “How can I help you?” or “How can I serve you?” Try this; I am certain you will be amazed and surprised at the results.

In keeping with this thought, I would like to offer “How I can help” this amazing person who I met. This gentleman is the publisher of a children’s comic book and he is looking for someone who could help him take his comic book from the shelf to the silver screen. If anyone who reads this has connections in the movie making business and is willing to help please send me an e-mail and I will share this person’s contact information with you.

How can you help/serve someone today?

Living!

“A master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his  education and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which, he simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing”

- James A. Michener

I have to first thank Boris at Read-y for exposing me to this quote. Boris wrote a powerful piece that accompanies this quote which I encourage you to read.

James Michener’s above quote spoke so loudly to me my heart leapt as I read his words. I have lived this quote for most of my life yet I was unable to articulate this as eloquently as Mr. Michener.

I have often been asked why I work the way I do. I have been asked why I don’t take more time to relax, take more time to pursue hobbies, etc. I have often replied back that my work is my hobby. I have even been scorned because of how I am, that I never seem to turn completely off, that I always seem to be on the look out for opportunities, weather it be for work or for my writing , for my education, enlightenment or for other pursuits in my life.

What I have always known however, was not very effective at articulating, is that for me there are no distinct lines between work and leisure. Nor are there distinct lines between education and recreation, nor love and spirituality. For me all that I do melds together and that is why if you saw me at work you would find me remarkably happy and if you found me at home sitting on the deck sipping a cool drink on a spring day you would find that I was remarkably happy also. Because I don’t separate or compartmentalize my life in a way that many people do I don’t have rules that say I won’t enjoy myself because I am at work or that I won’t work if I am to enjoy myself.  You would find that I don’t restrict myself by only eating breakfast in the morning or forcing myself to wait until Noon time to eat lunch, quite frankly I eat when I am hungry and I eat what I crave and I don’t look at the clock to take note of what time of day it is. In the same way that I don’t consult the clock on the wall to determine what kind of meal I can have, I don’t consult the calendar as to when I can dole out my appreciation for others in my life. I don’t wait to Valentines Day to express my love, nor birthdays or other holidays to give gifts. I don’t wait for a day of worship to be spiritual, to pray, to give thanks, etc. I don’t need a special day for this as spirituality is part of my every moment.

Like Michener says, I hardly know the difference between what many would call work and play, if one wants to label what I am doing as work than that is on them, for me it is all living.

We have all heard it said “do what you love and you will never work a day in your life”. To me it goes further than that, I have done many jobs in my life, some of which were not the most glorified, however I learned early on to love what I do no matter what the job may be. If you are not doing what you love, what you are passionate about then you must find a way to love what you do until you are able to do what you love. What is interesting is that by learning to love what you do, you may find that you grow into doing what you love. This has happened to me more than once.

I love living, I love life and I believe that the joy that I feel throughout the day regardless of the activity at hand is because I don’t try to separate all that comprises my day. We all wear many hats, child, parent, employee, boss, spouse, lover, friend, etc. We wear multiple hats throughout the day at the same time. I believe much of our frustration stems from trying to only wear one hat at a time. As Michener stated a master in the art of living does not distinguish between roles, they simply live, it all melds together.  To me this further means that if we are living consistently regardless of what role we may be engaging in at the moment then we are mastering life as the lines of separation of roles cease to exist.

Live your life fully, allow all of what you do to be you and not for you to be what you do!

To Blame or Not To Blame There is No Question

“Take your life in your own hands and what happens?
A terrible thing:
no one to blame.”

–Erica Jong

“See what you made me do”, “You make me so mad”, “I would have been done by now if you wouldn’t have interrupted me”, “I wasted all of this time because of you”, “I wouldn’t have had the accident if you wouldn’t have got me so upset”…

The list goes on an on! We have the uncanny ability to blame just about anything and everything on other people and things. The way many people use blame in their life becomes so natural to them that they often don’t even recognize that they are blaming external forces for their unhappiness, their despair, etc. We hear people say things like, “I would be happier if I didn’t have such a miserable boss, or if my children were more appreciative, or if my significant other treated me better, showed me more attention, etc”

These are still statements of blame. Anytime we use an external source as a reason to justify what we view as wrong with our life we are blaming.

People will blame the recession, they will blame the weather, they even will blame God for the state of their being. Many people will blame anyone or anything they can rather than take responsibility for who they are, what they think and what they do or don’t do.

I met a man the other day who suffered a traumatic brain injury twenty nine years ago which impacted some of his motor skills, particularly his speech and control of his hands. As we spoke, he never once blamed anyone or anything for his current state of being. As a matter of fact, I had to ask him to tell me about the accident which created his current physical state. Rather than blame the accident or someone or something else for his current physical state he instead wanted to know how he could help me. This man had a very keen understanding that he meets people for a reason, and that reason may be that he could help who he is meeting or the person he meets could help him in some way. No blaming!

As Eric Jong illustrates in her quote, the problem with not blaming is in by doing so we then take full responsibility for our life! Think about what taking full responsibility for your life means, that is a very tall order is it not?  If we don’t get to blame anyone or anything else for our current state of being then it all falls upon us. Many people will admit that they don’t want that kind of responsibility. Yes, they want the freedom of what not blaming would mean, but they do not want the responsibility.

It is easier to conform to our habits then it is to make a shift. Blaming is a habit and therefore shifting to a way of thinking where as we don’t blame, where we take ownership for what we are is a shift. For some, shifting to taking full responsibility for whom they are is a major shift! I would go as far to say that for most this is even a cultural shift. Many of our cultures have taught us to blame our parents for who we are , or blame our economic status as a child,  or blame iconic religious figures, or blame our educational institutions, blame government, blame the media, comic books, music, lyrics,  or blame the countless other entities that exist which have influence over our life. When we cease to blame, we are not only shifting our own thoughts, we are also shifting the thoughts of our culture, therefore creating an awareness of blaming and then choosing to not blame is a major shift for many.

Blaming is so pervasive that you may not even realize that you are doing it. Your opportunity today is to listen to your thoughts and to your words and become aware of when you are using blaming language. When you hear yourself blaming, stop, acknowledge that you are blaming and then ask yourself how can you own what you are blaming on someone or something else.

Now you may say, that is all fine and good for the things that I can control, however what about the things I can’t control like double digit unemployment, a tornado, cancer, disease, an overflowing septic tank, a micro managing boss, a spouse who is a control freak, etc; what about those things which are outside of my control?  You are correct, there are things that are not within your immediate control, however how you choose to react to these things, how you choose to allow these things to impact you is completely in your control. You don’t need to blame these things, they simply are what they are and it is up to you to choose how and if you allow them to have a negative impact on your life or if there is a way to spin these things to be positive or at the very least to accept these types of things simply for what they are and nothing else.

Remember “Love” does not blame, love has no reason to blame. You are Love! Your authentic being knows there is no reason to blame. Own your life and do not give anyone or anything else the reins of your life by the virtue of blaming them and you will experience a wonderment of who/what you are!

Note: If you did not notice, I never talked about blaming ourselves. There is no reason to blame ourselves, this is never productive. Accepting responsibility is entirely different from blaming one’s self.