Three Questions

Note: I am traveling for the next couple of days and will not be connected.  There are valuable lessons in the below parable. Enjoy!

It once occurred to a certain king, that if he always knew the right time to begin everything; if he knew who were the right people to listen to, and whom to avoid, and, above all, if he always knew what was the most important thing to do, he would never fail in anything he might undertake.

And this thought having occurred to him, he had it proclaimed throughout his kingdom that he would give a great reward to any one who would teach him what was the right time for every action, and who were the most necessary people, and how he might know what was the most important thing to do.

And learned men came to the King, but they all answered his questions differently.

In reply to the first question, some said that to know the right time for every action, one must draw up in advance, a table of days, months and years, and must live strictly according to it. Only thus, said they, could everything be done at its proper time. Others declared that it was impossible to decide beforehand the right time for every action; but that, not letting oneself be absorbed in idle pastimes, one should always attend to all that was going on, and then do what was most needful. Others, again, said that however attentive the King might be to what was going on, it was impossible for one man to decide correctly the right time for every action, but that he should have a Council of wise men, who would help him to fix the proper time for everything.

But then again others said there were some things which could not wait to be laid before a Council, but about which one had at once to decide whether to undertake them or not. But in order to decide that one must know beforehand what was going to happen. It is only magicians who know that; and, therefore in order to know the right time for every action, one must consult magicians.

Equally various were the answers to the second question. Some said, the people the King most needed were his councillors; others, the priests; others, the doctors; while some said the warriors were the most necessary.

To the third question, as to what was the most important occupation: some replied that the most important thing in the world was science. Others said it was skill in warfare; and others, again, that it was religious worship.

All the answers being different, the King agreed with none of them, and gave the reward to none. But still wishing to find the right answers to his questions, he decided to consult a hermit, widely renowned for his wisdom.

The hermit lived in a wood which he never quitted and he received none but common folk. So the King put on simple clothes, and before reaching the hermit’s cell dismounted from his horse, and, leaving his bodyguard behind, went on alone.

When the King approached, the hermit was digging the ground in front of his hut. Seeing the King, he greeted him and went on digging. The hermit was frail and weak, and each time he stuck his spade into the ground and turned a little earth, he breathed heavily.

The King went up to him and said: ‘I have come to you, wise hermit, to ask you to answer three questions: How can I learn to do the right thing at the right time? Who are the people I most need, and to whom should I, therefore, pay more attention than to the rest? And, what affairs are the most important and need my first attention?’

The hermit listened to the King, but answered nothing. He just spat on his hand and recommenced digging.

‘You are tired,’ said the King, ‘let me take the spade and work awhile for you.’

‘Thanks!’ said the hermit, and, giving the spade to the King, he sat down on the ground.

When he had dug two beds, the King stopped and repeated his questions. The hermit again gave no answer, but rose, stretched out his hand for the spade, and said:

‘Now rest awhile — and let me work a bit.’

But the King did not give him the spade, and continued to dig. One hour passed, and another. The sun began to sink behind the trees, and the King at last stuck the spade into the ground, and said:

‘I came to you, wise man, for an answer to my questions. If you can give me none, tell me so, and I will return home.’

‘Here comes some one running,’ said the hermit, ‘let us see who it is.’

The King turned round, and saw a bearded man come running out of the wood. The man held his hands pressed against his stomach, and blood was flowing from under them. When he reached the King, he fell fainting on the ground moaning feebly. The King and the hermit unfastened the man’s clothing. There was a large wound in his stomach. The King washed it as best he could, and bandaged it with his handkerchief and with a towel the hermit had. But the blood would not stop flowing, and the King again and again removed the bandage soaked with warm blood, and washed and rebandaged the wound. When at last the blood ceased flowing, the man revived and asked for something to drink. The King brought fresh water and gave it to him. Meanwhile the sun had set, and it had become cool. So the King, with the hermit’s help, carried the wounded man into the hut and laid him on the bed. Lying on the bed the man closed his eyes and was quiet; but the King was so tired with his walk and with the work he had done, that he crouched down on the threshold, and also fell asleep — so soundly that he slept all through the short summer night. When he awoke in the morning, it was long before he could remember where he was, or who was the strange bearded man lying on the bed and gazing intently at him with shining eyes.

‘Forgive me!’ said the bearded man in a weak voice, when he saw that the King was awake and was looking at him.

‘I do not know you, and have nothing to forgive you for,’ said the King.

‘You do not know me, but I know you. I am that enemy of yours who swore to revenge himself on you, because you executed his brother and seized his property. I knew you had gone alone to see the hermit, and I resolved to kill you on your way back. But the day passed and you did not return. So I came out from my ambush to find you, and I came upon your bodyguard, and they recognized me, and wounded me. I escaped from them, but should have bled to death had you not dressed my wound. I wished to kill you, and you have saved my life. Now, if I live, and if you wish it, I will serve you as your most faithful slave, and will bid my sons do the same. Forgive me!’

The King was very glad to have made peace with his enemy so easily, and to have gained him for a friend, and he not only forgave him, but said he would send his servants and his own physician to attend him, and promised to restore his property.

Having taken leave of the wounded man, the King went out into the porch and looked around for the hermit. Before going away he wished once more to beg an answer to the questions he had put. The hermit was outside, on his knees, sowing seeds in the beds that had been dug the day before.

The King approached him, and said:

‘For the last time, I pray you to answer my questions, wise man.’

‘You have already been answered!’ said the hermit still crouching on his thin legs, and looking up at the King, who stood before him.

‘How answered? What do you mean?’ asked the King.

‘Do you not see,’ replied the hermit. ‘If you had not pitied my weakness yesterday, and had not dug these beds for me, but had gone your way, that man would have attacked you, and you would have repented of not having stayed with me. So the most important time was when you were digging the beds; and I was the most important man; and to do me good was your most important business. Afterwards, when that man ran to us, the most important time was when you were attending to him, for if you had not bound up his wounds he would have died without having made peace with you. So he was the most important man, and what you did for him was your most important business.

Remember then: there is only one time that is important — Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power. The most necessary man is he with whom you are, for no man knows whether he will ever have dealings with any one else: and the most important affair is, to do him good, because for that purpose alone was man sent into this life!’

by Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy

Crack Some Eggs!

If I was to give you an egg and I told you that you had to be very careful with the egg, that you were to never break the egg or damage it in any way and you followed my instructions and you cradled the egg in your hands, and you arranged your life in a way to prevent anything from happening to the egg and you placed the egg on a shelf I would suggest that you would be very underwhelmed with the egg. It would just be an egg, nothing much to look at, nothing much to do with it, heck it doesn’t even make a good paper weight or door stop. Your experience with the egg at best would be a mediocre experience.

Ah, but if you were permitted to crack the egg open and use it, you would be able to experience scrambled eggs, omelets, eggs Benedict, poached eggs, egg nog, French toast,  cakes, etc. You would be very impressed with the experience that you would have with the egg.

If you were able to buy or someone gave you a Lamborghini and you only kept in the garage, and all you did was wash and wax it and maybe on the rare sunny day, when there was little to no traffic on the road you took it out for a spin around the block you would never truly experience the speed and handling of a 1.6 million US Dollar car. You would have this powerful machine, yet you would never fully enjoy the experience of having it out of fear that you might damage it or that you might get a speeding ticket. Yet, if you were to get out, put the top down and punch the accelerator to the floor then you would have an unbelievable experience of truly owning a Lamborghini!

Many people view living a spiritual life as one that is void of experience. Some people view being spiritual as sitting around in a loin cloth contemplating your naval while others view spirituality as having no fun, taking no risks, living quietly and demurely without passion or drive.

To live without passion, to lock yourself away from the world to avoid what you may call temptation, to avoid anything that may upset your world is not in alignment with spirituality, this kind of living is not aligned with your purpose.  Our purpose is to experience life, not to avoid life, not to live a mediocre existence. We are spiritual beings here to have a human experience. Having a human experience means that we must be willing to truly live, to put ourselves out there, to ride the highs and know the lows. We are here to live passionate and full lives and yes that means that sometimes we will be hurt, sometimes we will hit rock bottom and that sometimes we will come to a point where we doubt if there is truly any purpose for our existence!

Living from spirit does not mean that we don’t live to experience. We must experience all that we can for this is a great part of the reason we are here. It is through our experiences that we learn and grow, it is through our experiences that we are able to return home to our source and know unbridled joy!

I recently spoke of going to a bookstore and finding peace and renewing my energy. Most of us have places we go to find peace and renew our energy, some like me may find that in bookstore, others in a place of worship or communing with nature.  When we are in this place of peace and positive energy it is very tempting to say, “Ah, I wish I could stay here forever and know this peace and replenishment of energy”, however this is a wish we do not really want to come true for if it did, we would miss out on the experiences of this world. We would not truly be living; we would not know the heights of laughter or the depths of our tears. We would not know the ecstasy of sex, nor the aching of being alone. If we were not able to experience these things and all that is out there to experience than our places of peace and rejuvenation would lose their luster and we would stagnate in our spiritual growth.

We are here to live, we are here to experience! We are here to live from spirit and experience from spirit and we are here to experience with passion!

You need not deny yourself of experience, you simply must strive to live and experience from spirit rather than ego. Love life and all of its variables for that is what you are here to do. Be the love that you are and crack some eggs, push past the limits, take risks! Live not a mediocre existence, live and love with passion!

Experience Life to the Fullest!

Places of Peace and Energy That Rejuvinates

The other day I had meetings out of the office in different towns; I spent a good portion of the day traveling from one meeting to another. Normally most of my meetings are conducted via conference bridge however on this particular day my meetings were local and I had the opportunity to see people in person which for me is always the preferred experience. None the less, this made my day that much busier because I was running around quite a bit. On the way back to my office I called ahead to one of my favorite eateries and ordered lunch to go, noticing that I would have a few minutes before my food would be ready I decided to stop in a local Barnes & Noble Bookstore to browse for a few minutes. I had no intention on buying anything as my pile of books to read is sufficient for now and I don’t need to add anything to the pile for a while. I simply wanted to stop and see what was new on the shelves.

There was an underlying motive that I did not consider at the moment. I love going into a book store, there is energy in a bookstore that is calming to me and at the same time invigorating. A bookstore is filled with positive energy, much of which comes from all of the knowledge that is housed there and from the people who patron book stores. Walking into a book store is like waking into a condensed world of possibilities, as I said this invigorates me! The smell of coffee coming from the café, the people browsing and discussing what they have found over coffee fills the air with amazing vibrations that quickly bring me to a peaceful place and also recharges my batteries. I wasn’t there more than a few minutes, however it was well worth the stop, I left feeling good, my mind swirling with thoughts and I was ready to go back to my office refreshed and ready for the second half of my day.

We all need to have places where we can de-stress, where we can find peace, where we can soak in the positive energy of the place and the people. Much of our day is spent putting out fires, taking care of business, doing the mundane daily tasks that keep our life going and in doing so we can drain our energy, we can lose focus … This is why it is important to have retreats that we can access when needed. These retreats can be as simple as a bookstore or a local coffee shop, they can be a park bench where you watch children play, it could be a place of worship, a synagogue, a church, a mosque, it could be a favorite place in your home; heck, it could be your own backyard where you can observe the butterflies flitter among your flowers or the squirrels as they gather their winter store.

The key is that whatever the place is, you find the energy of peace and rejuvenation there. You may find this energy in solitude or you may find it in a group of people. Wherever you find this energy, make time in your day, your week to be there. You may say that you know of this place and would love to go there, however you are simply too busy and can’t find the time. I say this to you, busy is not always efficient, often times we equate busy to getting things done, however the truth is often times we are busy because we are at a point where we are not being as effective as we could be and this is because we have not taken the time to soak in the energy of peace, we have not taken the time to really reenergize ourselves. When we do this, we get to a point of diminishing returns and we feel as though we are running in place, do much but not getting much done.

Do yourself a favor and consider the places that you find positive energy, the places that reenergize you and then go there. Make time to visit these places even if it is only for a few minutes, the dividends will be great.

Note, I believe it is also important to point out that some people do go places to relax, to unwind that are not places of positive energy. Sometimes people mistake certain types of perceived relaxation and entertainment as rejuvenation; however the reality is that they are putting themselves in places of negativity and stress. They trade one stress for another kind of stress and they fool themselves into believing that they are doing good for themselves. Consider this as you go into the weekend, are you simply trading one type of negativity and stress for another type of negativity and stress or are you truly bringing yourself to a place of peaceful and reenergizing energy?

“I Am Pregnant …” said He

Last night I was watching the movie “When Nietzsche Wept”, in the movie Friedrich Nietzsche was talking to Dr. Josef Bruer about a series of migraines that he was having. Dr. Bruer suggested that the migraines were a result of stress to which Nietzsche replied, “No, I am pregnant!” Upon hearing this Dr. Bruer looked perplexed; Nietzsche then gently touched his hand to his forehead and said “I am pregnant here, in my mind”. Nietzsche went on to explain that he was pregnant with thoughts, with ideas and that the pain he was feeling were labor pains of those ideas coming to fruition.

I love Nietzsche’s analogy of being pregnant with thoughts, ideas, creations and that he was going through labor pains as he formulated these thoughts into something that he could bring into this world. This analogy helps to illustrate that not all ideas come easy, that often times our thoughts, our creativity starts with a germ of an idea and that we sometimes have to allow that germ of an idea time to incubate, time to form, to grow into what is going to be. It is during this time that we may feel out of sorts, we may grow uncomfortable; we may even question the validity of our thoughts. It is during this time that our thoughts may seem chaotic, out of control and as Nietzsche suggests we may feel pain, that is pains of labor as we bring our idea to a maturity where we can adapt our idea and understand the impact of our idea on our self and the rest of the world.

Consider for a moment a woman who is in the final throws of labor and how chaotic this time can be as she sometimes experiences incredible pain, how at that moment she may want to call it quits and even questions why she has done this to herself. Often times this is a chaotic period on every level, physical, mental and emotional, yet when her baby slips from the comfort of her womb and is born into our physical world, the mother quickly puts aside all  she just went through as she comes to see, hold and know  her creation, her baby.

The mother’s birthing experience is not unlike the birthing of our ideas, especially when our ideas take us beyond that which we have grown comfortable with, especially when our ideas take us beyond the accepted norms of our social circle or the general world view of others.

The lesson is that like the mother we may feel chaotic, we may feel out of control, we may feel pain, however this does not indicate that we are in some way wrong and that we should turn back, NO, this is an indication that we are birthing our idea, that we are transforming and that if we can see through the “labor” of our pregnant thoughts we will have an opportunity to hold, see and know our creation.

It is very important to remember that when we get to the point where we have had enough and we feel like giving up that we may be in fact on the very cusp of birthing our creation and rather than seeing this as a sign to truly give up, we recognize this as a sign that we are almost there!

Love yourself enough to see the pregnancy of your thoughts through gestation, through the labor pains and you will be amazed at who you discover you are!

The Mourning Of Our False Self

“In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing”

~Robert Ingersoll

When we lose someone close to us or someone who had great influence on us we typically go through a period of mourning. This period of mourning is a time of transition where we attempt to accept that a person is no longer physically on this earth and therefore is not available to us in the form that we had grown accustomed to. Mourning is commonly used to describe when we lose a person in our lives; however people mourn over the loss of many things, pets, homes, relationships, childhood, jobs, etc.

The period of mourning is recognized as a time when some people need the support of family and friends. We also recognize that mourning is a time where one may need solitude so that they can process the loss in their life.  Each of us mourns loss differently, however it is universally accepting that mourning loss is a process which people need to be allowed to have in order to accept what is and move on.

In my writings I often speak of how we must remember our authentic self and in doing so that we must let go of our false self. One may read some of my writings and say to themselves “well Mark you make it all sound so easy, changes my thoughts today and boom I will be filled with unbridled joy!” I know that change rarely happens in an instant. It is important to understand that almost all change is a process and that very rarely does change happen in the snap of a finger. Even as we change our thoughts, even as we discard our false self and allow our authentic self to resurface there is a process.

It is very important to be aware that in our transformation process that although we may have moments where our heart overflows with joy to the point where we feel we could burst with happiness that there are also times where we actually may feel worse than we did when we were unaware and living from a position of false self.

When we transform from our false self to our authentic self we must in a way die. We die while alive, that is we allow what we falsely believe to be our self to die. It is through the death of our false self that we transform and remember our authentic self. This death of false self is a death, albeit a conscious choice, it is still a death of what we believed to be our self. As with any loss or death, we may go through a period of mourning.

When we are mourning the loss of our false self, we are mourning what for some may be years of what we perceived to be our identity. It is during this time that we may feel sad, depressed, we may feel anger and denial and in the end we will feel acceptance and we will be thankful for all that we learned. This is the mourning process and it is a natural process for us to navigate through.

Being aware that we may go through a mourning process for our former self is very important for it is during this time that we may be tempted to believe that the false self is better than our authentic self. It is during this time that we may come to feel so much pain in the transformation that we may convince ourselves that we have taken the wrong path and that we should turn back. When we armed with the awareness that this is all part of the mourning process we are then in a position to understand all that we are feeling and most importantly understand that this feeling of doubt, this feeling of pain is only temporary. It is very much like the pain and doubt a baby must have as it exits the womb and takes its first breath of air and knows hunger for the first time.

Trust in your spirit, trust in your internal compass, be aware and listen and know that often times during transformation that our pain points are part of the transformation. These pain points are natural and our not signs to turn back, these are actually signs that you are on the correct path and that you should continue along your path of transformation.

Transformation VS Controling and Managing

When we attempt to manage or control are actions we often become frustrated, we feel out of alignment and we tend to eventually regress to the behavior we were trying to change. We clearly see this happen when we attempt to switch our diet to lose weight or reduce our cholesterol. We usually make radical changes in our diet, yet we still hunger for our favorite foods that we have now deemed “not good for us” and in a moment of stress we often will regress and eat that big piece of chocolate cake or half a gallon of ice cream or whatever our comfort food is. We also see this happen when we attempt to quit smoking or start an exercise program.

The less obvious times we attempt to manage and control our actions is how we process our emotions. A person may decide that they will no longer be quick to anger, that they will manage and control their anger only to have a major outburst at some point in time. A person may attempt to manage and control the thoughts they have about other people, the judgments they make, etc. A person may attempt to control and manage their desire to control everything and everybody in their life or to stay out of other peoples business and become frustrated when they find themselves not being able to make the change that would have them let go of the control or that would help them to mind their own business.

Why do many people have such a tough time of managing and controlling their actions? The answer is because even though you have made a conscious decision to manage and control your behavior you have not truly made a transformation. This means that we really have not made a change from the inside out. Yes, we have initiated a thought that appears to be a change, however the truth is we haven’t changed, we have merely decided to change what we do and not who we are.

When I was a child I can remember being in the swimming pool and forcing a beach ball to stay under the water by sitting on it or by locking it between my knees. When I let go of the ball the ball would violently pop to the surface. See, as long as I was managing and controlling that beach ball it would remain beneath the water, however as soon as I did not attempt to manage and control the beach ball it would erupt to the surface of the water. The beach ball erupted to the surface when I let go of it because that was the nature of the beach ball. If I wanted the beach ball to remain below the surface of the water I would have to change the nature of the beach ball, I would have to transform the beach ball by changing what was internal to the ball by letting the air out of the ball.

We are much like the beach ball. We cannot effect true change by managing and controlling our actions, we must transform ourselves from the inside out.

When we transform our being then there is no need to manage and control our actions. When we transform, we come to know that we have no need to become angry, we have no need to always be right, we have no need to control or to be in other peoples business. When we transform our being, we are not feeling as though we are suppressing emotions, thought, desires or actions because we no longer have a need for these emotions, thoughts, desires and actions.  When we have no need to experience these emotions, thoughts and actions then there is no feeling of denial or suppression and in turn no regression to what we once were.

Change not what we do, change what we are for this is transformation!

Note: When I say transform what we are, I acknowledge that we are never changing the core of what we are for the core of what we are is perfect in every way even that which we may have once thought as imperfect is perfect. The transformation of which I speak is transforming from our false self to our true self.

Responding to Slings & Arrows with The Fragrance of Love

If you took a fresh rose and crushed it in your hand what would happen? The rose would simply give. The rose would give of its sweet fragrance even as it is being destroyed.

How do we react when we are the receiver of slings and arrows? What is our reaction when we are insulted, when we are disrespected, when we are slighted in some way? What is our reaction when someone is attempting to push our buttons or cause us harm?

The answer to this question is based in where we are coming from, are we coming from a state of our fragile ego (our false self) or are we coming from a state of love (our authentic self).

When we are coming from love we are like the rose and we give the fragrance of love even when we are the receiver of slings and arrows. When someone comes to us in anger we do not respond in anger, rather we listen and attempt to understand and respond in a way that is compassionate. When someone says hurtful things to us we can choose to understand that we do not have to allow that hurt in, that we can in turn react with love.

The ego on the other hand often wants to respond in kind, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Come to the ego in anger and anger will be the response, come to the ego with slings and arrows and the ego will respond in kind and often times escalate the response. The egos response is what often creates a vicious cycle of hate and violence because it wants to respond in kind or it wants to respond in a way that gives it the perceived advantage.

Note, it is important to understand that I am not advocating that one should allow themselves to be abused by another in way shape or form. When we are being abused we must find a way to remove ourselves from the abuse.

Some people may use the fact they are being abused as a rational to act in kind and to inflict abuse on others, know that this is a false rationale, one derived of the ego. We are not justified to react in a way that will hurt another.

Love does not seek revenge, love does not respond in anger or hate, it would be impossible for love to do so.

One may feel that to react with anger, disrespect, insults, etc may be our nature because we have been conditioned to do so by the examples we see in society, by the mass media and by our own ego minds, however I assure you this is not of our true nature. We are of source, our true nature, our essence is LOVE!

Because we have in many ways been indoctrinated to fight fire with fire it may seem very foreign to us not to react to anger with anger or insult with insult. This is why we must make a conscious effort to understand why and how we react to the slings and arrows that come our way. When someone comes to us in anger, is disrespectful, is hateful we must stop and take a moment to become aware before we react and choose to come from the love that we are.

When we respond with love, at first it may increase the intensity of the other person’s anger, etc, because you will not be reacting in an expected manner. Reacting with love, or not reacting at all often takes the other person off balance and they increase their onslaught of slings and arrows in an attempt to solicit the response they desire, however given enough time the fragrance of love that you emit will serve to transform the other person in ways that may surprise you and almost will certainly surprise them. Even if you don’t appear to have an impact on the other person you will feel better for you came from love and there is no greater feeling then being love, being your authentic self!

Allowing Others To Be – Not Forcing Our Beliefs On Others

When we discover a new restaurant or see a great movie we are inclined to tell our friends about it. We do this because we want to share our discovery. Some people when they have epiphanies about life and beliefs become very passionate about what they feel and what they know and they want to share with others what they have figured out; in some cases they may believe they are obligated to spread the message, to even stand in the public market and shout from their soapbox to anyone within earshot. It is not uncommon for people to become so passionate about their beliefs that they are compelled to force their beliefs on others; these same people may even believe it is their responsibility to change others because they think they are right and others are wrong and they want to “save” them from their “wrong” beliefs.

It is the wise person who understands that what is right for one is not right for everyone. There is no singular path, there is no “right” or “wrong” belief, there are only different experiences along the journey each of which we perceive from our own unique viewpoint. The wise person is open to letting others be, the wise person understands that we must be willing to listen and accept other possibilities and the other paths that people may be on and know that one size does not fit all.

The wise person does not seek students out; the wise person understands that students will appear when students are ready, just as the student understands that the teacher will appear when the student is ready.

We all have important lessons to learn and important lessons to share. The greatest way to share that which we know and believe is by the way we live are moment to moment life. There is no greater teacher than example. We teach by what we are, not what we say. We teach and attract others by the energy we emit, not because of our intelligence rather because of our wisdom.

When we live from our spirit and all that we think, say and do originates from love we then are inclined to think, say and do with the intention of doing so based on a higher good. It is though the consistent vibrations of choosing the higher good that will drive others to seek to live based on living and being driven by love and the accomplishment of the higher good. Others will be inspired by you, for you are living “in spirit (inspired)” and that will be apparent to all whom you touch!

We must focus on ourselves and live by example trusting that our energy will impact others.

Know this, you don’t have to have anyone else agree with your beliefs to live them!

Confusion of Our Desires

I know a man who went to his wife and asked for a divorce because he was no longer happy or satisfied in his marriage. He was very passionate about his desire to end the relationship. The wife agreed and they proceeded to take actions separate and dissolve a marriage of 18 years. The man was getting what he wanted right? One would think so, however when the wife started to live a life independent of him he became upset, he became  very angry and upset over her behavior. It appeared that he wanted his freedom, however he was not willing to give his wife her freedom. The husband is now more distraught then ever as his confusion over what he desires escalates.

I know another person who desires that which she can’t readily have, be it food, things, relationships, etc, if she can’t readily have it she strongly desires it, once what she desires becomes readily available in her life then she no longer is interested in what she once longed for with great passion. Is this person confused about what she wants or is she motivated by the chase or by the rarity of something?

How many times have you been sure of what you wanted, got what you wanted and then discovered that it was not what you really wanted? If you are like most people this has happened to you on more than one occasion. For some people this happens frequently. When this happens to us we become confused. How could we be so sure of wanting something to the point where we manifest our desire into being only to discover that we really didn’t want what we thought we wanted? How can we be so confused about that which we desire?

I think that much of our confusion over what we desire is because what we desire is often false. Our desires are often fueled by not what our authentic self desires rather what culture tells us we should desire, what the media tells us we should desire and the fact that our ego buys into the false desires that are laid before us. We are taught that success is measured by what we are able to obtain, be that material goods like houses, cars, electronics, and money or be it position, power and relationships. We are taught that to desire more is a good thing and that we should be ambitious in our desire to accumulate more stuff in our lives. We are taught to compare ourselves to others and to desire that which others have. We are taught that having more is better and that having more is the yardstick by which to measure our success and we should have goals to obtain that which we desire.

Truth is we get so wrapped up in the desire to get the next thing that we become disenchanted when we do obtain that which we desire. We may have a feeling of loss, even a feeling of loss of purpose for once we obtain that which we desire, what next shall we do? For most people they then begin to desire something new and the circle of desire and dissatisfaction continues which creates more confusion about what we desire.

Note, I am not suggesting that ambition is bad or that desiring more is bad. What I am suggesting is that we need to stop and evaluate our desires and understand if these desires serve us or if they drive us further out of alignment with our spirit. If the answer is that our desires are not aligned with our spirit, that is they are false desires we must then let go of these desires and look inward to understand the motivation behind our desire.

One of the major issues with desire is that almost all desires are predicated on an outcome and with outcome based desires comes expectations. Very often the rub comes in when the outcome does not live up to our expectations.

Conversely when our desires are motivated by love we are able to detach from expectations and simply allow that which we desire to be. Love has no expectations of outcome and thus we remove the confusion that comes with desires that are outcome based, we remove the confusion because we have no expectation of an outcome.

When we are “being now”, then this moment is not attached to outcome, this moment is without expectation. I am sure you can reflect on pure times in your life, moments that were pure bliss. Ask yourself why these moments were so pure; what were you doing, what were you thinking? I believe as you reflect on this type of moment you will take note that there were no expectations, there were no goals in that moment, there were no other thoughts nagging at you and pulling you away from being in the now. The fact is that you were fully present in the moment; it was as if time stood still and you were allowed to simply be. The really cool thing is that you allowed yourself to simply be! You are the creator of your life. Your experiences are that which you create and therefore you have the ability to allow yourself to live in moment and feel as if all time has stopped in order for you to be.

The wonderful thing is that one does not have to wait for these blissful moments to happen. We do not have to live in confusion of our desires. We each have the ability to understand our desires, detach from outcome and BE!

You Are Love! Be You!

Conscious Thoughts on Subconscious Thoughts

Sometimes when we see someone exhibit behavior which is destructive to a relationship or undermines a job interview, etc we poke at the possibility that on a subconscious level the person really wanted the relationship to fail or that they really did not want to win the job they were interviewing for.

There are many who say that the majority of our actions are driven by subconscious thought, like the ice berg the thought that we are aware of is much smaller that that which lies beneath the surface.  What is the subconscious, by definition it is consciousness which lies below the consciousness. Webster’s defines subconscious as “existing in the mind but not immediately available to consciousness”. As I sit and comptemplate what is our subconscious I can’t help but believe that the way we use the subconscious as a way to explain or defend a person’s behavior is a cop out.

When we say that behavior is a result of subconscious thought we are then saying that behavior is due to a lack of awareness that is a lack of consciousness and in doing so we abdicate our responsibility for our actions and that which we create. . If it were true that we operate subconsciously for the most part then we have to ask where does subconscious thought come from and more importantly who or what is responsible for these subconscious thoughts?

Where do are thoughts come from? Do they just pop into our mind? Do we have no say as to when and what thoughts will come to us? Are we merely puppet heads that have no control over our thoughts?  Are we slaves to these unconscious thoughts? Short answer, I don’t think so!

I agree that we have thoughts which we are not conscious of, however the fact that we are conscious or not conscious of our thoughts is a matter of choosing to be aware, choosing to be awake and choosing to accept responsibility for all of our thoughts. Our thoughts are the first step in all creation. We are creators and we can choose to create from an unconscious level or we can choose to be fully aware of our thoughts and therefore fully aware of that which we create.

To be fully conscious is to truly “be”! To be fully conscious is to be fully accepting and responsible for each and every thought. Many people may read this and say that to be fully aware of each and every thought is too big, that it is not possible to be conscious of every thought, nor to be conscious of every impact of every thought? (The only argument that I accept on this is that thoughts which control our auto functions such as breathing, heart beating, etc are on auto function and we do not need to be conscious of these thoughts which keep the body alive). The magnitude of what I suggest may seem daunting for many, couple that with the mere thought of not having any excuses shakes the foundation of many. When we are unaware, it would seem that it is much easier to travel along our journey with the ability to make excuses for what we perceive as shortfalls and problems along the way. I suggest to you that on the surface this may seem like the easier path, however I am certain that this is the long and more complex path to take.

The path of complete awareness is much more efficient and is aligned with our authentic being. The interesting thing is that if you are fully aware of your thoughts and you take full responsibility for your thoughts and you are completely honest with yourself than you would find that there is no longer any need for any excuses in your life!

Shift from a subconscious driven life to a consciously lived life and your perspective changes to the point where you always know and understand your thoughts and therefore your actions (behavior) and in doing so you find that you don’t need to blame anyone or anything, not even your subconscious for what happens  or does not happen in your life.

When we become conscious of every thought then we begin to truly understand who we are and the life we create for ourselves. For example a person may enter a relationship with someone who is abusive towards them because on a subconscious level they do not feel worthy of love and therefore do feel worthy of abuse.  If the same person was conscious of their feelings of unworthiness of love and kindness then they could explore why they feel this way and then work to solve this feeling and shift their feeling of being unworthy of love and kindness to being worthy of love and kindness and therefore not enter or remain in an abusive relationship!  The change in consciousness is incredible. To live consciously is to live joyfully!

When we live on a conscious level then we take responsibility for all that we create and we become more adept at creating the life and world that we truly desire!

May you understand the greatness that you are the sacredness of your being by becoming fully conscious in every moment of your being!

Remember today that YOU ARE LOVE!