No Stress When You Are Having Fun – Letting Go of the Outcome
I just spoke with a friend of mine who was in a situation that for many would have been very stressful. She had to present herself to a board of directors for a major company, a group of people she did not know, a group of people who command respect and ooze with authority, a group of people who are not easily impressed or moved by others. When I asked her how her meeting went, she was over joyed to tell me that she had fun. No stress, no worries, she had fun. Why did she have fun in what many would describe as a “hot seat” in the business world? She had fun because she was in her element, she felt confident about herself and what she brought to the table. Because she felt confident, she was able to let go of her fear of judgment, in fact she was so much in the flow of the moment she was able to let go of the outcome of the meeting.
When we are able to let go of the outcome, miraculous things happen, we allow ourselves to be, we allow ourselves to flow and we do not allow ourselves to be distracted by judgmental voices in our heads or by the possible judgments of others. We let go of right/wrong, good/bad, we simple flow and be. We trust in the feeling of having fun and understand that the result is not important, it is the moment that is important.
Have you ever wittinessed someone really let go and dance, even though they are not a good dancer, or sing, even though their voice is not a great singing voice and secretly wished to yourself that you had the courage to let go like they do? Most of us have been in this place.
Why do we not let go? Usually it is fear that holds us back. It is the fear of what others might say or that we may feel foolish. When we allow this fear to hold us back, we stew in our own decision while the world dances and sings around us. We hold back, while others are having fun all the while defending our choice to not take the chance of looking foolish in our own eyes or the eyes of others.
Many people justify not having fun or letting go because that is not their story and they don’t want to appear to be out of character. Do yourself a favor today, let go of that character you so rigidly hold on to and jump into the deep end of the pool and have fun.
Let go of the outcome and you will be astonished at what you can do and how much fun you will have with life!
Dear mark, wow, now I am motivated to do something and let go.
Thank you for sharing this.
Hi Mark,
I agree with whole-heartedly. There is never a more true you, when you just let things go and act in the moment – and those moments are always our best memories, aren’t they?
Annie
Good sage advice..thank you for reminding us!
Good writing and an excellent message!
Hi Mark,
Marvelous story about letting go and being free in the moment.
“It is not their story” — great line— I am going to work on rewriting my character’s outcome in the storyline of life.
Thanks
I totally agree. I’ve got the same. I always wanted to be a teacher but because of some problems I didn’t get there. I loved being a scouting leader and still love to talk in front of people and children eventhough I got a wordfinding problem..I just have to prepare a bit more.
I guess as adults we need to look deep within and release (set free)the child in us where we become less complicated from our experiences and self-consciousness.
This one line that you wrote stood out,” She had fun because she was in her element, she felt confident about herself and what she brought to the table” I find that statement to be so true, when we are within our elements we retain confidence. I am very insecure at follow ups, I have a book of phone numbers and address of clients interested in carrying my products and even though I am good with people on a weekly basis on a one on one ouside of my element I feel uncomfortable.
I am not sure what it is, or what combination of factors have come into play, but I find those around me absorb as much of my energy as I theirs. I was on the phone and outdoors, the sun was shining, the temp. near perfect and I said lets dance, as I was spinning around in circles, I became dizzy and I lay in the grass looking up at the blue sky. I repeated over the phone, the sky is blue! I thought as I read your post, this is my elements, where I am comfortable and confident.
I had an unusual writing assignment this week and I remember thinking how simple it would be to write because it was a topic within my elements. When the client recieved the intended response that she was so trying to recieve for months she was elated and her expression of gratitude placed me on a natural high. I started to use the words ” I just, I only, it was, ” Then my confidant and friend said, don’t slight your self you were doing what she could not. ” I was working within in my element. Over and over that statment kept running through my mind. Everything in my life has been like stepping stones, the higher you climb the more you learn and yet I still feel uncomfortable around particular people, out of my enviroment, insecure, lacking the confidence to close on a deal, or worse yet to follow up on ones that are serious contenders.
I have been working my way back home, when I first started this business it was from state to state, somehow it was easier to create a image with people who do not have a preconcieved vision of who you are. With the ever so costly gas prices, I have been working weekly in my hometown and I have found that step back is creating a new platform of acceptance, a welcoming if you will. It has not been as difficult as I imagined it to be. It is all about the miraculous steps of life and how like a spool of string rolling down hill they unravel. I felt as if everyone, well almost everyone around me was picking up on this happiness that exuded throughout the day, My sister who makes you this happy? It is not a who, it is combination of factors that create the platform of well being. Some measure of success, acceptance and the daily achievements that continuously prevail. I said to a total stranger, I think I am going through a midlife crisis, I am doing things I never Imagined I would do! He responded with, midlife crisis are for those who have not achieved and have failed to reach a goal, he said you have achieved and are are doing things many people only dream of. Interesting the thought process of people!
My Marky blogger lesson for today , to extend my comfort zone a little more each day and build on my strengths to battle down my own insecurities, thus creating a new platform, making the world my element and feeling that confidence take hold. Life is just like your high school combination lock, it takes a few tries to get it right. But the keyword is combination, various factors do come into play.
if only you posted this earlier hehe.
i was totally focused on the outcome of my final exams last month that i freaked out. i’m gonna have this mindset when i start college this september
thanks for this
This was a message that I really needed to hear, something that I know in my heart but have been having difficulty following through with lately. Thank you.
Detachment certainly teaches valuable lessons, such as ways to be humble. Stand back to see the world in ways that were unnoticed and therefore underappreciated. Its a phase in the process of transforming perceived existence.
Wonderful post mark!
Reminds me of some instances of experiencing the rewards that happened naturally. infact, people around too derive the benefits of letting go happening in an individual.
None to impress, so it expresses well !!
Why are we all addicted to suffer rather than putting all our effort into letting go and taking baby steps into another future? I have read much, done much, have seen evidence of things you say and still the addiction is always there. Funny thing addiction, once you let go and no longer do something you cannot for the life of you think why you needed it in your life. that is on my good days, the bad days I cannot see that at all.
thanks for your words
Thank you for this post.
Some words have taken my attention; is when you said “She had fun because she was in her element”.
The other day, I went to a job interview. Well, not one, two.
In one of them, I saw the woman who was making the interviews before.
For that job, I was not in my element but I was already there and I had to go on.
Then, my guardian angel (or the voice that I sometimes hear from within), knowing how bad an extremely uncomfortable I was feeling, told me a word to encourage me.
We both knew that the interview was going to go “bad” that´s why he told me: “diviértete” (which in English is “have fun at least … if she is not going to employ you at least have fun with the interview”).
I really thank to my guardian angel his good intention to help me and encourage me with the words: “at least have fun”.
But truth is I even couldn´t have fun. I tried, but I couldn´t.
And I couldn´t because I was not in my element.
When I am in my element, everythign is fine. No panic attacks, no tears, no autistic girl, no doubts, no disrespect for myself, no fears …
Just Me.
When I am in my element, the depression disappears and Joy comes back.
With Joy I can do anything.
All the sadness and depression dissapear when I am in my element.
When I have go out to work, some of the other girls that used to work with me, have insulted me calling me “autistic”. Even ´my sister´ and her dauther (my real Family would never have insulted me) has tried to hurt me calling me autistic (and other things).
But when I am in my element, I am fine. I can smile, communicate, talk, Live.
I wish I could be in my element soon.