Freedom and Detachment

Can one be truly happy without being truly free? Freedom is a cornerstone of happiness. What is freedom in the sense of which I speak today? Freedom is quite simply the ability to detach ourselves from all possessions, relationships and outcomes. In other words, we only know true freedom when we have the ability to detach ourselves from the externals of our world. When we truly understand that are happiness is not dependent on the things we own, or the relationships we have with people or the outcome of the things we do, then we truly know what freedom is! In essence a truly free person can not be imprisoned by another person or thing. Freedom is a state of being, a realization and a choice.

To experience freedom one does not have to walk away from their relationships, nor does one have to give away all of their worldly possessions, like wise one does not have to give up trying to be successful in life and give up on accomplishing their goals. Quite the contrary, one can continue to live a full life of abundance, have deep, meaningful relationships, acquire things and reach for the stars.

The key is that a truly free person knows that at any given moment if they some how lost all of their possessions that they would still be who they are, they would still be just as joyful, because they are not defined or owned by their possessions. A truly free person also knows that if a relationship they were in ended, that although they would miss the person with whom they had this relationship with that the loss of this person would not redefine who they were, it would not change the person that they are nor would it alter their state of happiness, for they know that they must be able to detach themselves from others with a knowing of who they are and they are not defined by the relationship that they are in.

Being able to detach oneself from the results of what they are doing is another key to knowing true freedom. To detach oneself from the results of their activities may at first sound counter intuitive. We are for the most part a results driven society. In the business world we live and die by results, however when we become focused so strongly on results, often times we fail to enjoy the journey and in doing so we miss out on the very things that would have ultimately produced the desire results in the first place. When we free ourselves from focusing on the end result, we become more relaxed and often more in tune with the very steps we need to take to achieve the end result. Picture if you will a child in a car on a road trip, while the adults are enjoying the scenery and the company of each other, the child is focused on the outcome of the trip and every two minutes asks “Are we there yet?” The child in doing so misses out on the fun part of the trip. We as adults often do the same thing, we become so focused on the outcome of something, that we miss the enjoyment and lessons of the journey and often times because we are so focused on the outcome, we neglect to do the necessary steps along the way and we miss accomplishing what we were so focused on in the first place.

True freedom is enjoying the process and allowing the results of the process to flow with an understanding that no matter what the results turn out to be that it does not alter who we are. When one is detached from the results, one is more relaxed and able to live life at a more optimum level.

So what is freedom? Freedom is the ability to detach our self from things, people and results. When we are able to do this, then freedom is not a state of economics, a poor man can be as free as a rich man and visa versa. A person who is physically limited and a person who has no physical restrictions can be just as free as the other, for true freedom is a state of being.

The freedom of which I speak today may seem foreign to some, it may seem counterintuitive, it may feel as though it rubs against the grain of all you have come to know. If you feel this way, that is okay, for you have be raised in this world to feel this way. I only ask that you consider these thoughts, ponder them, look at your life and ask yourself if you are truly free or if you believe your happiness is dependent on the externals in your life, that is, your possessions, your relationships and/or your accomplishments.

When one can live a truly free life, then one will come to know a happiness which is our natural state of being.

As you start your new year, may you live in true freedom, love and abundance.

Seeing What You Believe

 

Some things have to be believed to be seen” – Ralph Hodgson

We are rather complex are we not? When it comes to belief and seeing, many of us take the stance that I won’t believe it until I see it, that is, many people want concrete proof before they will believe something. These people may even proudly wear the label of “skeptic”. The older we get the more skeptical many of us become.

When we are a child, we are very open to magic and not questioning how everything works and what are the mechanics of a trick or how something could be possible. We simple believe, because we choose too and because we have not been jaded by our human experience yet. Our mind and spirit is more open to the possibilities that anything is possible and we often believe before we see. Because we believe before we see, we see so much more and so much clearer!

Have you every known someone for whom life seems to always work out? They seem to get everything they want, seem to always be in the right place at the right time and when you talk to this type of person, they exude a confidence about their life and the direction it is taking that seems unshakable, even though there plans may seem a little naïve? What is it about this type of person that makes life work for them? There are many factors, however one of the key elements is the way they think, they believe before they see it happen! Now one might argue with this and say that the reason they believe like they do is because they have a track record of success and they are basing their belief on past, concrete evidence that all works out for them. In some cases, I agree, success breeds more success and that for some this factor does give them some confidence and helps to solidify their belief in future success, however that factor alone does not create their full belief. These people still believe, before they see the results.

On the other hand there are many stories of people who had a long history of past failures, yet had a belief that they would be successful, and therefore believe before they were able to see. Abe Lincoln comes to my mind when I think of a person who believed before he saw the results and had a past history of extreme failures.

This same thinking applies for people who believe they will fail before they see the results. Many people I know take a position of failing or losing before they ever take the first step in their endeavor. They have a belief of failure and of course, often times since that is what they believe, that is what they get, these are the same people who marvel at the luck of the people who everything seems to go right for.

Note, there is another way of thinking, which is rather twisted, but seems to work for some people. I refer to this as playing reverse psychology with the Universe. These people will think and say that nothing every goes right for them and that they will fail in whatever they are attempting to achieve, however deep down they believe they will succeed if they say they will fail. The reality is that even though they are saying one thing, they truly believe that by saying the negative that they will get the positive. Ah, such a twisted and over complicated way of thinking!

The truth is though, again, the belief is present before they see the results.

Believing before seeing is why we have progressed as fast and as far as we have! We are forever in debt to the dreamers the visionaries, the people who were scoffed at for their beliefs, their ability to see things that others could not see.

What are you being stubborn about in your life? What are waiting for proof before you believe?

Many things will not manifest in your life until you believe them. Many people get caught in this vicious cycle. What they want to happen won’t happen until the believe it and they won’t believe it until the see it. It’s like a dog chasing its tale!

Today open yourself to be child like go through the day with a sense of wonder and belief and stop looking and waiting for the proof! You will be amazed at what will suddenly become visible to you!

The Year That Didn’t Suck

 

One of the great things about the holiday season is that you get to visit with friends and family that you don’t get to see throughout the year.  Over the holidays I did get a chance to visit with some friends who now live in Florida. As we sat there catching up, my one friend was talking about the death of her Mother in-law earlier this year and how this past year sucked, she then turned to me and said, “Well Mark, you understand, your Mother passed away this year, you know how much this year sucked”. I sat there and I could only imagine the look on my face, because she quickly recovered to say, “Well that part of your life sucked”. Before I could get a chance to answer, we were interrupted by the call to the dinner table.

If I had the chance to respond, I would have loved to explain to her how wonderful my year had been and that it did not suck, nor did the death of my Mother define my whole year. I would have loved to explain to her that I was very blessed this year for a whole slew of reasons, one of which was that this year, prior to the death of my Mother, I was able to spend a lot of time with her, more time then I have spent with her in many years. See, I moved away from home shortly after I graduated and traveled the world for 20 plus years. I normally only got to visit with my Mom once every 18 months if I was lucky. This year, I lived two hours away from her and I was able to visit quite often and when I did visit we were fully engaged with each other in a way that we have not since my childhood. My Mother was suffering from Alzheimer’s and I worked with her a great deal to help her through this very confusing time in her life. I love my Mom very much and I miss her a great deal, however I am very grateful for the time that we had together, especially this year. This plus many other things that happened in my life this year made this a year that did not “suck”.

My friend took a different view of her year and chose to focus on the negatives in her year of life and suffer. She choice to dramatize the events in her life, even though, I know that she had some wonderful events take place in her life this year and that she has a life that most  would be very grateful to have. Because she chooses to view her life from the dramatic side, she assumes that everyone else who had similar events happen, must feel the same as she does, so she tries to draw people into her world so that she will not suffer alone.

Things happen in our life, some we view as wonderful and positive, and some we view as horrible and negative, that’s life! Things that we do not want to happen, sometimes happen anyway. When something we view as negative happens we can choose to deal with it or we can choose to suffer.  Most suffering is a choice! I once heard Dr. Wayne Dyer give a great analogy of how people choose to suffer. He said and I paraphrase from memory, that suppose you cut yourself on your hand, and instead of treating the wound and putting a bandage on it, you left it open and picked at it and you went around and showed everyone and said “look at this wound, look it’s getting worse”, and you still didn’t treat it, infection would set in and you keep showing it to everyone as it got progressively worse and you still did nothing about it and then it got so bad that your whole hand had to amputated and still you did nothing, you would eventually lose your arm and so on and telling everyone to look at how horrible a thing this cut had turned into and asked everyone to feel sorry for you. This is an extreme example, however it does a very good job at demonstrating how we sometimes choose to suffer, we leave the wound open and we display and pick at and in many ways make it worse and we ask the world to look at our wound and feel sorry for us, because look how bad we have made it. Most suffering is a mental choice.

As you review this past year, have you chosen to suffer from the things that happened in your life, or have you chosen to find the blessings in your life?

Did your year really suck? If so why? Could your outlook change if you decided to change how you framed up the year?

How about the upcoming year, will you allow the things you view as negatives to define your year? If something bad happens to you in January will that define the rest of your year as a bad year?

Think about it this way, have you ever just had one of those mornings, where everything seemed to go wrong, e.g. you got up late, you spilled coffee on your suit, and you got in the car only to discover that you needed gas, which was going to make you even later and said to yourself “Oh, it’s going to be one of those days” and you allowed the events of the morning define your whole day? Most people have done this, some do it on a regular basis. Kind of silly when you think about it, isn’t it. Why would you allow one or two events define your day, your year or your life?

Choose today not to suffer. Choose today to define your day, your month, and your year the way that you want to define it!

Guest Blogging

Helen Burton of “Getting Off the Diet Merry-Go-Round” asked me to be a guest blogger on her site. I wrote an article for her blog titled “The Impact of Change VS Continuing to Do What Use To Always Work For You” which Helen has posted today.

Please pay a visit to Helen’s blog. Helen provides excellent, advice, tips and guidance to people who desire to lose weight as well as make other changes in their life.

Relationships – Connecting by Disconnecting

                       

While I was standing in a department store line over the holidays I observed this one couple as they were shopping. The couple appeared to be in their early forties and they were out shopping together for gifts for some children in their life. They were out together, however they were not really together. The whole time they were shopping, the man was engaged with his “Blackberry” and not his spouse/girlfriend. She did attempt to engage him a few times by asking his opinion on different articles of clothing she was looking at, to which he would give a slight glance up and tell her, that whatever she thought was fine with him. He did this with very short words and quickly returned to checking and sending e-mail on his Blackberry. A few moments later this couple was in line directly behind me. He was still fully engaged with his Blackberry and she continued to try to engage him in conversation, at one point, she even said something to him and then said aloud “I don’t know why I bother talking to you, you are not listening to me anyway”. He did not acknowledge the words she had said or her frustration in being with someone who was not really being with her.

It took much restraint for me not to turn around and grab the electronic gadget from his hands and point out to him that he was missing out on the moment, that unbeknownst to him that we was damaging his relationship and leaving his relationship open, vulnerable to anyone who would take the time to listen and give attention to this lovely woman he was with.

Technology is great and we are surrounded by technology which is designed to keep us more connected than ever before. We have cell phones, laptops, blackberries, pagers, all designed to ensure that we never miss anything. While these are all great devices, which most of us would not want to live without, in a relationship they can be unknowingly dangerous and damaging. Because we are so accessible, we are often tempted to answer our cell phone every time it rings or to check our e-mail on a continuous basis. When we are by ourselves, this is a perfectly okay thing to do, however, when we are with another person, especially the most special person in our life, answering the phone and checking e-mail is a distraction which often has a negative impact on our relationship.

This habit of always being connected and acting as if we are afraid we will miss something often does cause us to miss something and miss it big! We often miss what is happening in our life at that moment, weather it is the opportunity to communicate and share our life with a significant other in our life or missing something a child is trying to share with us. You may even be missing some great lessons that are happening right in front of you.

When I am out with someone, I turn the technology off or at the very least I place my cell phone on vibrate and only answer it if I am anticipating an important call or if someone is calling whom we are both expecting a call from. Long before the advent of cell phones and Blackberry’s if you got in the car with me to go for a ride, I would always turn the radio off. I found early on in my life that when the radio was on, that it tended to stifle conversation. When I am with someone I want to be fully engaged with them, I want to converse and when we are not conversing, I want to enjoy the moments of silent reflection. If you were to come to my house for a visit, you would notice that I turn the TV off as you come in the door. Again I do this because I want to talk and become engaged with a guest in my home. We may later decide to turn to the TV on to share a show or a movie, however it would not be blaring in the background, serving as a distraction when you first came to visit.

There are many distractions in our daily life. A successful relationship depends on each person being fully engaged in the process of the relationship which means becoming unconnected to become more connected. Remember, when you are with the most important person in your life, stay connected with him/her and practice becoming unconnected with the rest of the world for the precious time that you are together.

If you feel you must be connected, then set aside specific times to make phone calls, answer phone calls, check and answer your e-mail and time to check the news, stock quotes or the scores from last nights game.

Remember, when you are with someone to be fully engaged with them, to live the moment and be fully aware of each other. This is one of the cornerstones of which a successful long-term relationship is built. When you are distracted by the technology in our world and do not become fully engaged with each other than you are building your relationship on a faulty foundation, which is subject to long term damage and is vulnerable to other people who are willing to give the attention that you don’t.

Stay connected by disconnecting and watch how much richer your relationships will become!

The Wooden Bowl

 

The following is a favorite story of mine. I share this with you today, because this a time of year when many of us will have guests over for meals. My hope is that this story helps you to remember that the reason we open our homes to friends and family is to share our love and abundance.  May you enjoy and accept everyone who crosses the threshold of your home and may they never feel unwanted or sorry for crumbs left on the floor or spilled drinks, etc. May your home be filled with laughter, peace and love, may all who come into your home feel welcome and look forward to sharing the warmth of your home in the future.

The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon and onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.

“We must do something about Grandfather,” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.” So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he had dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child curiously, “What are you making?” Sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless! Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening, the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, when milk was spilled, or when the tablecloth was soiled.

• - Author Unknown

May you cherish all who are in your life, even those who challenge are patience.

We cannot choose our family members as we do our friends, however we can choose how we act when we are with them. May you always act from love and kindness?

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Who’s Your Hero?

 

In the early 60’s there was a television show called the “Dick Van Dyke Show”. This was a favorite show in my house as a child and I have enjoyed watching the re-runs over the years. On one show, Rob and Laura have a small party at their house, their next door neighbors and good friends Millie and Jerry Helper were guests at the party. As a special treat there was a hypnotist at the party. The hypnotist was having fun hypnotizing people at the party. One of the suggestions that he used was “You are now whoever your hero is” and when he snapped his fingers the person whom he had hypnotized would take on the

persona of their personal hero and tell people about themselves as the hero. Most of the quests took on the persona of some famous person that everyone knew and they would begin to tell them facts about who they were. When the neighbor Jerry Helper was hypnotized with the same suggestion, he began to talk like his hero, the only thing was, all the other quests were perplexed for they did not recognize any of the accomplishments he was listing to be that of anyone they knew of. The only person to recognize who Jerry’s hero, was his wife. His wife Millie, with a disgruntled look and tone said, “That figures, his hero is himself!”

Now that made for a funny line and comedic twist, however that episode has stuck with me all of these years. You see, even as a young person I thought that it was wonderful that this man picked himself to be his hero out of the multitude of possibilities available to him. See, he didn’t say Abe Lincoln or Albert Einstein, or George Washington or Jonas Salk, he picked himself. To many people this may seem egocentric to choose yourself as your hero, however I believe that this is the exact opposite. I believe this is spirit-centric. To be your own hero means you must truly love yourself, know yourself and feel very comfortable within your skin. To be able to know this at a subconscious level is amazing. To me this means that he was striving to be himself, that out of all the people in the world he simply wanted to be him. He was not striving to meet some external model of what people thought a hero should be, he was satisfied to be him, to simply “be”!

To be our own hero is the ultimate expression of how much we love and respect ourselves, our spirit and our connection with source. To be our own hero is a reflection of understanding that all that we seek we already have. It is an understanding that nothing we need to be happy is external to us.

Many people spend a lifetime trying to model themselves after someone else, trying to become that other person, for they believe that to become someone else is better than being who they are. These same people live very frustrated life’s and become disillusioned as they chase after something that they are not. In doing so, these same people distance themselves from source and become misaligned with there purpose, which often leads to self hate, depression and all that goes with living a life that they no longer recognize as their own.

It’s good to have external hero’s, people whom we respect and admire, however our ultimate hero should be ourselves.  When we are spirit-centric this is a natural way of being. Being our hero does not mean that we walk around with an ego too large to fit in the room, in fact, it means just the opposite. Being our own hero means not putting on a false and often shallow persona, which is usually a product of the ego. Being our own hero, means that we have embraced our self, that we are operating from spirit, overflowing with love for our self  which over flows to all who are in our world. The other plus with being our own hero is that we are unshaken by other peoples criticism of our thoughts and actions. We are open to the feedback we receive from others, however unlike the fragile state of being egocentric we do not fall apart because of the feedback.

Presents

 

8 Days left to Christmas, for many, these 8 days will be very stressful as they attempt to purchase the right gifts for the right people. Many will stress as they see their bankroll dwindle as they purchase presents that in a few weeks will be a distant memory and in less than a year will probably not be remembered at all. Think about all of the holidays that have passed in your lifetime. How many gifts do you remember? If you are like most, the list of gifts that you remember is short. Sure, there a couple that stand out, however the memory of most gifts fade away over time. What we do remember about the holidays is the things that one can not buy at the mall or put a price tag on. Our sweetest memories of the holidays are usually about the people in our life, the sights and sounds, the smells and tastes and most of all the warm feeling that an abundance of love and positive energy brought to our lives during each of the holidays. We remember our family traditions and fondly pass those traditions on to the next generation and embrace the new traditions that new family members bring to our life.

Are you stuck on what to buy someone in your life? Are you stuck because they seem to have everything? What a wonderful sign of abundance that is! Think about it, if you are struggling with what to give someone, because they have so much, then they must be living a life of abundance! The truth is, these people do not need you to go spend a boat load of money on a gift for them.

How about yourself, what do you want for Christmas? Do you struggle with this question when someone asks you what you want? What could a person give to you that would truly impact your life in some way?

Here’s a list of gifts that people could give each other that would be memorable and impactful:

• - spend 1 hour a day less in front of the TV and spend that hour being engaged with your children
• - volunteer your talents one hour each week to the children’s ward of a hospital, a nursing home, a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen
• - Plant a tree this year
• - Make an effort to truly listen to other people
• - Make yourself available to your family and friends
• - Take your self less seriously
• - Commit to be present for the events of the people in your life, children’s plays, musicals, graduations, birthdays, etc (BTW – Being present means, no cell phones, no Blackberries, no laptops, etc)
• - Take the time to look you loved ones in the eyes and tell them how much they mean to you
• - Learn the names of the cleaning crew in your building or the doorman, or the person who waits on you at the coffee shop in the morning or your paperboy, etc. You see these people every day, they make your life easier in many ways, acknowledge them, engage them in your world
• - Take care of yourself, eat right, exercise more, get enough sleep

This list could go on and on, I am sure you have more that you can add. The great thing about these gifts is that will positively impact your life and the life’s of others and they will not be forgotten, nor will they be opened on Christmas morning and get lost in the mound of Christmas wrap. These presents will be “present” with you for the whole year and if one is true to the spirit of these presents, they will be present with you the rest of your life.

This time of year is so much richer when we do not place so much focus on the gifts and instead focus our time and energy on spreading an abundance of loving and giving of ourselves. May the present that you give and receive this year be one of love, of gratitude, of peace. May your present warm the soul of your fellow man. May your present be a payment forward, given with no expectations of anything in return. May you reach deep in the pockets of your soul and give of your true self for that is what will be remembered and cherished.

Happy? Yes I am!

I was at a fund raising event last Friday night to help raise money for a co-worker who had been in a terrible car accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down. Many of my co-workers were there, most whom I knew, some who I only knew from casual greetings in the elevator and hallways. One person came up to me and introduced herself and said “I have been wanting to ask you a question. Why do you seem to be always smiling, humming or even singing? “I smiled, as I considered her question, knowing that in the noisy venue where we were, I did not have the time or the correct environment to explain what she perceived as my daily bliss, to her.  I simply looked at her and sincerely told her, “I lived a very blessed life, and that I have many things to be thankful for” She  looked at me, like, well that is a pretty ambiguous answer, that really doesn’t tell me anything. As she was attempting to dive deeper and ask more questions, we were interrupted by others who at the gathering. Good thing, for I knew that I would not have been able to satisfy her curiosity in the space and time that we were in.

I used to have a co-worker who sat near me who every now and then would say “Mark, I will give you _____ (usually some interesting amount of money) if you would trade your life with mine. Truth is, he would not be any happier with my life than he was with his, because he would still have the same perceptions, regardless of the events and outward appearance of my life.

The simple truth is I do live a very blessed life, a very rich and fulfilling life which gets better with each passing moment. I am on an incredible journey, a journey which takes me though the hills and valleys of life, a journey which has brought very wonderful people into my life, a journey where even when the terrain gets tough and sometimes treacherous, I smile with a knowing that even that which is a challenge and tires my human body, is still a journey with purpose and that some of the greatest lessons are in the deepest of valleys.

I am blessed and I have created an amazing life for myself which I know will continue to be even more blissful and exciting than I can now imagine. I know that I am now on the cusp of crossing over yet another incredible threshold which has untold adventures and surprises awaiting me!

This is how I view my journey. What is the big difference between me and people who question how I can be as joyful as I am? It’s my perspective. See I fully believe that I am living an amazing life and that amazing things happen to me and they will continue to happen to me. I fully believe that I am blessed. I know that I have much to be thankful for. I also know that even when things don’t go as well as they should, that they will, that the sun will always shine in the morning and that even in the darkest of nights I will still have the warmth of the moonbeams.

The wonderful thing is that I am no different from anyone else. I get up each day and go to work, I face the same issues that the average person in the world today faces. I pay bills, cook meals, etc. The fact is, that in a physical sense, I live a similar life to the average person in our world today. One of the big differences is my thoughts, how I perceive my journey and my level of awareness.

We are all at different places along our journey and we all have the ability to live a joyous, blessed life. I know that personally I still have a big journey in front of me. I am looking forward to every dip, curve and climb and of course the occasional straight away.

We all share in the ability to live a blessed life, as a matter of fact, we all do live a blessed life, it’s just a matter of us realizing that we live a blessed life and that we are on an incredible journey.

May the vision of our soul be unencumbered by the blindness of our humanity.

Unkind Words …

 

“The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid” - Source Unknown

 

How many times have you heard a person say something like “I don’t mean to offend you, but,” Or “I don’t want to hurt your feelings but …” or they just blurt out whatever thought is running through their mind without regards to how it is going to effect the people around them. Some people wear this trait proudly, saying something like “I am very honest and I always say what is on my mind, if other people can’t handle that, it is their problem, not mine”.

We all have thoughts run through our mind at times which if spoken would not be kind. We may not think the dress that someone is wearing is very attractive or we may find the smell of someone’s breath offensive. In our relationships, there are often times where we have a knee jerk reaction to what the other person is doing or saying or how they may look, and it is at these times that if we blurt out our initial thoughts we create a divide in the relationship, we create a problem where there was no problem. It is very important to remember the above quote and leave the unkind word unsaid! It is critical that when we have an unkind thought go through our minds that we stop and evaluate the impact of what we are about to say.  In our relationships at people it is ever so critical to remember that our initial reaction to something done or said is not always the correct reaction. Often times we need to take time to listen, to consider the why’s of what is being done or said and why we are reacting the way we are. Our thoughts when conveyed into words should always be with purpose, never just blurted out without a thought process behind them.

It is too easy to be unkind with our words. Once unkind words are said, they are impossible to take back, they have been heard by the other person and permanently registered in their gray matter. It’s kind of like the judge telling the jury to disregard what the lawyer said. Nice thing to say, however once it’s been said the desired or undesired impact has already taken place and often within a matter of seconds. We can attempt to take back what we said or try to recover in some way from what we said, however the damage has already been done and all we can do, is work to repair the damage.

Our thoughts and words are very powerful, they convey a great deal of energy and have a ripple effect throughout the universe. While we are learning to control our thoughts and have our thoughts be pure and full of love, we may have unkind thoughts which enter our mind, do not resist these thoughts, allow them and then allow them to leave. Remember what we resist, persists. The key is to not speak these thoughts, we do have mastery over what we speak.

We have all been on the sharp receiving end of words which have impacted us. We know what if feels like and how we recall these words for a lifetime.

May kindness always begin with you and may the ripple that you cast upon the pond of the universe be one of kindness, peace and love!