Our Relationship Will Get Better When . . .

 

“Our relationship will get better when she/he gets a job, gets that promotion, gets finished with this project, etc”

“Our relationship will get better when we buy our own house”

“Our relationship will get better when we our out of all this debt”

“Our relationship will get better when we move”

“Our relationship will get better when the kids move out”

“Our relationship will get better when we start having children”

“Our relationship will get better when we finish school”

“Our relationship will get better when …”

The list goes on and on.  These are a simple list of the lies that we tell our self when our relationship is not going the way we believe that it should. Of course, we don’t say them with the intent of lying to our self. We actually convince ourselves that what we are saying is true. We assess our situation or more specifically the situation of our significant other and we say, “look, there is a reason that he/she is neglecting me, abusing me, distant from me, etc”. We do this to justify what we want to believe is an anomaly in our relationship.  In rare instances, we may be correct, there is a life situation which is creating an undesired anomaly in our relationship, however, the majority of the time, what we are justifying is undesired behavior which has become part of the fabric of our relationship and rather then face the hard facts that a deep change needs to occur to make our relationship work, we choose to delude ourselves into believing our own lies. Many relationships go on this way for years. Each person playing a role in what is truly a dysfunctional relationship.

Our journey can be a grand adventure, full of thrills and spills along the way. When we invite another to share our adventure the complexity of our journey can increase exponentially as can the joy of our journey.

Relationships as we know are complex, they become even more complex when we do not honestly communicate with each other and when we create illusions rather than do the work of being completely aware of the reality of our relationship and developing an honest understanding of what our relationship is and where it is realistically going to go and how that impacts our personal journey.

Truth is, “our relationship will get better when” we decide to be honest with ourselves and our partner. This honesty will result in one of two things, we either decide to fix the issues that need fixing and change our perspective on the things that can’t or won’t change or we must make a decision to end the relationship and move on. Of course the latter is often one of the most difficult decisions we have to make in our lifetime, however it is often the decision that will change our life dramatically and help us to re-align with our authentic self. I say this because, when one is in a relationship that does not work and there is not enough passion on the part of both parties to repair the relationship, one or both people in the relationship tend to live a lie. The lie that they are living in simple terms is that they are no longer living a life that is aligned with their authentic self. Matter of fact, one of the biggest fears that holds people in a dysfunctional relationship is that the person fears that they know longer know who they really are and it scares them to think that they may have to face this realization.

If you are in a mutually loving relationship, that is flourishing and enhancing your journey, then you are truly blessed.

If you are in a relationship that you know does not feel right, then it is time to be honest with yourself and your partner and make some decisions on what your next steps should be.

Forgive

 

 ”To error is human, to forgive divine”, I believe is the old saying. This is a simple wisdom which, acknowledges that we all make mistakes. Making mistakes is part of being human, part of our growth process. This simple wisdom also reminds us that to forgive is divine, that is, to forgive is to rise above our humanity and live and act from our spirit.

Let’s think about forgiveness for a moment. When we operate from a center of love, is forgiveness not a given. I mean, if we are truly loving, which means without conditions, than isn’t our forgiveness of our selves and others a natural by-product of unconditional love? For if someone does something to harm or hurt us and we love them without condition, then are they not forgiven instantly? Of course they are!

If this is true, then when we are not forgiving then where are we coming from? The answer is pretty simple, we are not operating from our spiritual side, we then must be operating from our human ego side. We know this side well, this is the side of us that wants to be mad, wants to hold a grudge, wants to exact our non-forgiveness as a form of punishment on the offending person, even if that person is our self. Our ego, wants the offending person to feel the pain of our discontent with them and we often go out of our way to let this person know that we do not forgive them. We may even say something like “I forgive you, however I will never forget”.  Tell yourself what you will, however this is a conditional statement and it is not true forgiveness.  When a person says this, they are basically pretending to forgive, however they are putting you on notice that this “thing” that they are forgiving you for, is filed away to possibly be used against you at a later date.  See, it’s not a loving thing to say or do, and it smacks of insincerity and ego.

Love is forgiving, when love is your being, when you overflow with love, there is no need to forgive, for it is automatic. Your love is not based on conditions.

Forgiving therefore means letting go of what your ego so desperately wants to cling to. You gain nothing by being unforgiving of yourself or others. As a matter of fact, not forgiving others or yourself is like swallowing your own version of poison.

I beseech you to reflect on any un-forgiveness that you are holding on to, find it, look at with love and set it free. To forgive is one of the most powerful and healing things we can do. Forgive your self, forgive others, send yourself and others love, for that is what is needed, love is what will set you free and allow your own energy to change the world.

The most important person in your life to forgive, is always yourself!

You Don’t Have To Do Everything!

 

Black Friday is behind us and the holiday season is now in full swing. This is both a time of great cheer, warm memories as well as high anxiety, depression and feelings of being overwhelmed. Many people will be very busy for the next 30 or so days as they prepare for the upcoming holidays. It will be busy, busy, busy! It will not seem as though there are enough hours in the day to get everything done. I think the key word here is “everything”.

Many people will enter this holiday season with a list of “must dos” and “must buys” and with the nagging thought that they must do “everything”. They feel that they must bake all of the cookies, get all of the holiday cards out, buy and wrap all of the gifts, decorate the home, plan and attend the parties, etc and do so with a smile and a generous dose of holiday cheer. It is very easy to understand why the “happiest” time of the year can be such a miserable time for so many.

We build our own problems don’t we? We do and we do and we continue to do, year after year because we have set up certain expectations of our self and all of the people in our life. What once may have seemed like fun has a funny way of turning into an obligation. We all know, when something is no longer fun, and then it simply becomes a chore, one that we would rather not do. We see this happen in many aspects of life don’t we?

We begin doing something because it brings us joy and often times we set an expectation and what once was joyful now seems like an obligation, one that we would rather not do. Why does this happen? Could be a couple of reasons, one, it was fun when we did it because we wanted to and did not feel obligated to do, two, we simply lost interest or our life situation changed and it no longer holds the importance to us that it once did.

Both are simply a change in perspective. Simply stated we no longer see what we are doing the same way as we used to. Rather than accepting our change in our perspective, we continue to do things out of feeling obligated to meet others expectations and if we don’t then we beat ourselves up with guilt.

The truth is, we change, our perspective changes and the further along the path we travel, the more our perspective seems to change. What was important to us to do ten years ago, no longer holds the same level of importance today and that is okay, that is part of our growth. Furthermore, there is no reason to feel guilty for the changes in our perspective and if others don’t understand the changes we go through, that is okay too. It is important to remember that as we change, others may change or not. It is normal for us not to be on the same page, not to fit in the social norm that is expected.

As you look forward over the next 30 or so days of holiday busyness, remember that YOU don’t have to do everything! You can choose what you do and when you do. Remember that you should find joy in what you do as you prepare for the holidays and if you are not finding joy in what you are doing then it is time to assess your activities and ask yourself if you are doing things because you want to and find joy in the things you do or are you simply going through the motions of meeting expectations and fulfilling self imposed obligations.

Make a list and check it twice and decide to do joyful things this holiday season and to let go of things that no longer bring you the joy they once did. Give yourself permission to not do “everything” and allow yourself to relax and enjoy the spirit of the holidays this season.

May your holiday season and all of your life be filled with joy, love and peace!

How Perdictable Are You?

 Here’s your predict-a-mint!  What is that for, you may ask. It’s a representation of how predictable most people are. Let’s face it, we are programmed to react to certain stimuli in predictable ways. Heck, the whole marketing industry is built upon this very thing. This is one of the primary reasons why when we go out to buy one thing, we leave to store with more than we intended to buy. Most of our guilty of over buying, or buying things that we don’t “need” per say, however strangely enough we have a desire to buy them. A large part of that desire is fueled by slick marketing which is designed to push our buttons. Let’s face it most of us desire to look better, younger, be part of the “in” crowd, etc. We also like to be high tech, affluent, a trend setter, etc. Don’t forget about the things that are designed to tug at our heart strings. See, we are a pretty predictable lot aren’t we?

Marketers are not the only people who know how predictable we are. Our friends and family rely on us being predictable and know just how to push our buttons to get the desired reaction. People who don’t always have the best of intentions also know how to push our buttons and get us angry, sad or upset.

“So what” you may be saying, “I am predictable, I don’t see that as a problem, matter of fact I prefer to call that being reliable, and that is a very good trait”.  I would agree that you are half right, being reliable is a great thing, as responsible people we should strive towards being a person whom others can rely on, however being predictable is something else entirely different. Being predictable in the sense that we are talking about today, means that you are probably responding to stimuli as you have been taught to do, and not because you are responding from your spirit, that is you’re not responding from a place of unconditional love and peace. If you were responding from spirit, than you would find that your responses would not be what they always have been, they would be different because you would have a different perspective on the events that unfold in your daily life. Matter of fact, you would begin to see that the things that happen in a day are not labeled as good or bad, they just are and that your response is always coming from the same place. If your response is always from a place of love and peace and that is the energy that you emit as things happen, as people say things, think about how that would change your world?  

Think about this for a moment, how many times did you get mad or upset this past week, how many times did you feel hurt by what someone else said or did? Imagine what it would be like if you could have eliminated all those angry and hurt moments from your life. What impact would that have on your life?

Here is the great thing, this does not have to be some far off imagined way of living. You can live this way starting today. How you react to everything in your life is your choice! I will repeat this, IT IS YOUR CHOICE HOW YOU REACT TO STIMULI! You can choose how you will react when someone tries to hurt you by saying hurtful things, you can choose how to react when the car won’t start, or when you find out at the last minute that your child needs 50 cupcakes by tomorrow morning, or when you hear bad news, or when something happens to you.

One may say, that I am suggesting that we trade one type of predictability for another type of predictability, I disagree. When you are operating from your spirit, operating from a center of love, there is no predictability in how you will react. You will find yourself in a magical place, a place of wonder that very few will understand and that many, at first will criticize, however they will later marvel at who and what you are.

Be love, be your authentic self and watch the magic unfold.

Santa & Unconditional Love

 When it comes to the mythological figure of Santa Clause and the myth that we perpetuate with our children I have mixed emotions. The linear side of my brain questions if it is wise to tell and sell our children on the myth of Santa Clause knowing that someday they will find out that they have been hoodwinked. My spirit however argues that although the physical form of Santa Clause is a myth, the spirit of Santa Clause is very real indeed and that although a child will some day come to the realization that there is no one magical man called Santa Clause, they will have been profoundly impacted by the spirit of Santa and they will most likely carry that spirit within them for the rest of their life.

It was in this spirit that when asked to play the part of Santa Clause, a.k.a. Father Christmas, Kris Kringle and many other alias, that I accepted to play this jolly old fellow.

Now be it known, that I do not naturally look the part of Santa. I don’t have the physical profile, the white hair and beard, however I was approached to play this part because of my very deep voice and hearty laugh. Some padding, wig, beard and great Santa suit helped me to look the part.

On the way in to town, I practiced my ho, ho, ho’s and jolly belly laugh, wanting to be as authentic as possible. When I got into town, I went to my office where I changed into the Santa suit and donned the beard, the wig and a pair of white gloves. I also placed padding in the right places to look the part. I took a look in the mirror and was happy to see that I had transformed into the jolly old man. I was ready to go down the public square and sit upon the throne, which awaited me and meet the many children who had come out for the Christmas Parade.

I strode out of the building waiving and ho, ho, hoing to all who were waiting on the public square to greet me. I took my seat on the square among others who were dressed as elves to help me with all my little visitors.

The first child came running up to me, her eyes bright with wonder, amazement and sweet anticipation. Here was a believer, she did not see Mark, she only saw what she wanted to see, she saw Santa! In that instant I was transformed, I was in a new reality I was Santa!  I beamed with love, as did she, I reached out my arms and greeted her as if I had known her forever and had missed her for a long time. She hopped into my arms and took her traditional seat upon my knee. The spirit and magic of Santa filled the air, as her and each child who followed told me how good they had been and what they wanted for Christmas. Each one left with a candy cane in their mitten covered hands and a warm reminder that Santa loved each one of them very much. I visited with over a hundred children in all. Playing Santa for a couple of hours was a very rewarding experience. I was surprised by how many of the children’s wants were very simple. Many only asked for a dolly or a truck, some asked for new shoes or clothes. Not many asked of expensive or extravagant items. Most only asked for one or two things and when I asked them if there was anything else they desired, they happily said “no”, that’s all I want. 

At the end of the day, I don’t know who got more out of the experience the children or me. I really think I receive a much greater reward then they did. The energy of the love that they gave to me was incredible.

May I radiate that love, that pure unconditional love out to you today.

In the spirit and persona of Santa, I also would like to take the opportunity to ask all of the parents of the world who teach their children about Santa to do me a favor. Please don’t use Santa as a weapon to discipline your children. Please don’t make the hollow threat that if they are not good that Santa will skip over their house or not bring them what they ask for! If you choose to embrace the spirit of Santa and share it you’re your children, then allow Santa to be a spirit of unconditional love. This is a great time to teach our children the true meaning of unconditional love.

I can tell you this, as I held each child and looked into their eyes, there were no bad children, they were all good, and they were all the embodiment of love and the spirit of the holidays. I am truly blessed to have had this opportunity!

Alignment with Source and Purpose – You Deserve …

 

You deserve happiness, you deserve love, you deserve to live a life of abundance, and you deserve everything that you desire! Are you nodding in your head in agreement? I sure hope so, because it’s true, you do deserve all of this and more.

You are an incredible being who is part of a greater whole, connected to a source, which is pure love, unencumbered by human frailties like ego and self-imposed limitations. You my friend are a powerhouse of energy!

So why then, do so many people walk around this earth looking as if this is such a painful existence, looking as if getting up in the morning was an incredible effort and that they would rather still be in bed that experiencing the incredible journey that they are on?

For a number of reasons I have been at the local shopping malls recently on a much more frequent basis than is my norm. I am struck by the faces and tones of the people I see in the mall shopping. These people with the glum faces do not seem to be enjoying their life,  it is as if they are robots, going through the motions of human life.

I feel for these seemingly lost souls.

So if we are such a powerhouse of energy and we deserve all  that we desire, why are so many of us, sleepwalking through the human experience? The short answer is, one, we are not aligned with our source, two, because of life circumstances we have allowed our enthusiasm for life to be beat out of us, and three, and this is probably one of the biggest, we have come to believe that we don’t really deserve to be loved, or we don’t really deserve to be happy, etc.

See, we say we want to be loved, we say we want to be happy, we say we want to live an abundant life, however deep down, we don’t buy it. We don’t buy that we deserve these things! Why? Well we don’t believe because we believe we know who we are, that is, what we think, what we have done or not done and we measure our thoughts and actions against the moral yardsticks of our culture, of our religious beliefs, of the ebb and flow of what mass media is projecting and against each other. As we do this, we can all find reasons why we should be punished and not have all that we desire. We internally believe that our life is as it is because of how good or evil we have been in the past.

The truth is that our past does not matter,  we can make any changes we desire to make right now, this moment, however to do so we must be willing to quit hanging ourselves for who we have been in the past and choose to live in the now. We must also be willing to quit measuring who we are against everyone else and begin realigning ourselves with our source, with our purpose.

Sounds good, however when does one know when they are aligned with source, with their unique purpose? It really is not as mysterious as it may sound, it’s actually rather simple. You know when you are aligned with source and purpose when you feel joy in what you are thinking and doing! I am not talking about short bursts of joy that you may get from buying something that you want or the joy of having a beautiful physical experience. I am speaking of a joy that you feel to your core, a joy that you instantly recognize as truth, a joy that cannot be shaken by the various events of the day. That joy is what you experience when you are aligned with source and purpose.  Want to see what this looks like, find a child and watch them at play, they know this joy, they know what it feels like to be aligned with their source and purpose.

How do you get there from here? You must ask yourself some very tough questions and then be willing to make changes in your life as needed to re-align yourself with source and purpose. The tough question you must ask is, “Do I feel good about what I am doing right now or do I feel out of sorts, not aligned? You will know the truth. Once you start recognizing the things that you are thinking and doing that don’t feel right, you are then in a position to make adjustments to bring yourself back into alignment. As you do this, you will experience a joy that cannot, and should not be contained! You will then become a conduit to spread the word and help to place smile of joy on the people whom you touch! Your energy is contagious, make that energy powerful, make it love and spread the joy!

Relationships – Temptations

Temptation is a woman’s weapon and man’s excuse.

~H. L. Mencken~

Interesting quote isn’t it. I don’t like to assign either value to specific genders, however I do agree temptation is a double-edged sword and can be used as a weapon or as an excuse. When speaking of relationship, any excuse for using or succumbing to temptation is not acceptable. When a person in a committed relationship uses temptation as an excuse for crossing the line of fidelity than that person is saying that they should be excused for being feeble and weak. That the temptation had greater power than the character of the person and the strength of their relationship. The person who uses this as an excuse, normally is using it as escape clause as they beg for forgiveness.

Truth is temptation is a symptom of a larger issue within a relationship and temptation tends to come our way when we are consciously or unconsciously looking for it. Don’t believe this to be true, then think about the beginning of any romantic relationship that you have been in, did you find yourself tempted by other people? Did you even notice other people? Chances are you were so wrapped up in your new relationship that you couldn’t have been tempted if someone threw themselves at your feet.

When you find yourself tempted, you have to stop and ask why. The question should be, what do I perceive as missing from my current relationship that is allowing me to be tempted by this other person?

There are many reasons why one may become tempted, however all of them are because we perceive that we are missing something, that we are not having one of our needs fulfilled.

Despite what the above quote says, temptation can be used as a weapon by anyone, it is not regulated to one gender. In TV, Movies and literature, most often we do see the woman portrayed as the temptress, the conniving one who uses her womanly ways to steal away the man. Truth is some men are just as guilty and will swoop in when they know that a woman is distressed about her relationship and take full advantage of using temptation as their tool to open up the door.

For the purpose of discussion I think it is important to understand what temptation is. I believe temptation is that which you consciously consider. This is very different from admiring someone. We can look at another person and take note of their attractiveness and not feel the temptation to be with that person. We can acknowledge the fact that someone flirted with us today, feel good that we were found to be attractive and not be tempted to take any action on the flirting.

When we are in a long-term satisfying relationship, the thought does not even cross our minds, we don’t feel tempted.

For those who might be in an “open relationship”, that is, a relationship where it is permissible to have other relationships, temptation can still come into play. Temptation in this type of relationship is found when you find yourself tempted to lie about another relationship you are having for whatever reason you may have created to justify the lie.

Some may say, we must resist temptation. I disagree, that which we resist, persists. Resisting temptation may work for the short term, however if left unexamined, temptation will rear its ugly head again. If we are tempted, we must acknowledge that this is a symptom of a bigger problem within our relationship and take the appropriate steps to assess where the problem lies and to rectify that problem.

I believe temptation to be an ego based response, as you become more aligned with your authentic self, I believe that you will see temptation fade away and be replaced with a knowing that grounds you.

Slow Down, Enjoy the Journey

“Slow down you move too fast …” These are the opening lyrics to the “The 59^th Street Bridge Song by Simon & Garfunkel. These sage words were very timely in the 60’s when they were penned and equally if not more appropriate in today’s world. We are moving at break neck speed, trying to squeeze a multitude of tasks into each 24 hour period and often when we do find time to sit and relax, we begin to fidget and even feel guilty that we are not doing something. Many of us have come to live in a society where it is considered sinful to sit and relax. On a typical Monday morning at work when you discuss your weekend with your colleagues, you are almost looked down upon when you admit that you had a relaxed weekend where you didn’t do much at all. You almost feel obligated to say that you did something productive with your time.

What is our reward for living our journey at mach speed? We are rewarded with a myriad of health issues, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, insomnia, depression, anxiety, etc. We are also rewarded with broken relationships, missing our children develop and grow, losing ourselves in the day to day race, missing out on much of the beauty that this world has to offer and much more.

Have you ever noticed that the faster you drive your car, the easier it is to make a mistake when you attempt to make a correction in your path or make a turn? Typically to make a safe correction in your path or to make a safe turn you have to slow down, otherwise you will most likely careen out of control and cause an accident. An accident, which ultimately slows you down and causes a greater delay than you would have experienced if you had slowed down in the first place. This is exactly how our life works, when we are going so fast along our journey, making corrections or changing paths is so much more difficult and often dangerous.

We must learn to slow down, for as we slow down, we will find it much easier to make the changes and corrections in our path. We can make these changes without anxiety and without creating negative energy, which has an impact on all of our relationships and responsibilities. As we slow down, we will also become more aware, make better choices because we are more aware and become more aligned with our authentic self.

When we reach the end of this stage of our journey, as we lie on our deathbed, will we wish we would have been busier, will we be thankful for how busy we were or will we be granted some magical prize for all the “things” we did?  I highly doubt that any of this will happen, rather quite the opposite will happen, we will look back and wish that we had slowed down and took more time to enjoy all that we had. We will recognize that all the busyness in our life was an illusion. An illusion that cleverly hid from our view the importance of living a simpler, slower life that would have allowed us to enjoy so much more of what we had.

Today, make a conscious effort to slow down.

• Look at your agenda for this week, what could you eliminate?
• Go to your calendar and schedule lunch for each day and commit to going out to lunch, away from your desk or your routine. (At work, I have an on-line calendar that everyone can access to schedule meetings, etc. I have 1:00 – 2:00 blocked out for lunch, [on my calendar entry it simply says rejuvenation], for the entire year and I go outside the building for lunch everyday. This is my way of committing to myself to slow down. This is a change for me, a few years ago, I typically worked through lunch everyday.
• While you are in your calendar, schedule other times in your life:
  • Time for reflection/meditation
  • Time to read something for the enjoyment of reading
  • Time for routine meals
  • Date Night
  • Time to spend with your children – i.e. doing something that is not part of the daily routine
  • Look at the month and schedule at least one weekend where you do nothing but relax, i.e. no housework, no yard work, no playing taxi for the kids, no elaborate entertaining, etc.

Are you looking at this and saying to yourself, I don’t need to schedule this kind of time in my life, that’s silly. For the minority of you that may be true, you may already being living a slower life, however for most of you, you are probably fooling yourself, continuing to live a life of illusion. Don’t believe me? Then do this, keep a log of your life for a week. Log what you are doing every 15 minutes. Once the week is over, go back and look at your log. Look at how much time you gave to yourself, how much you gave to your relationships, etc. You may be very surprised just how busy your life is. Once you have this weeklong journal of how you spent your time, you then have a great tool to start making changes from.

The 59^th Street Song

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feeling groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feeling groovy

Hello lamppost, what’cha knowing
I’ve come to watch your flowers growin’
Ain’t cha got no rhymes for me?
Doo-it in doo doo, feeling groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feeling groovy

I got no deeds to do
No promises to keep
I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me
Life I love you, all is groovy

Car Wash Induced Thoughts

 

I found myself with an extra few minutes today so I took my car to the car wash this morning. I love this car wash, they always do a great job! The first part is automated and then you drive into an inside bay where a team of 3 to 4 people wipe it down, clean the windows, the dash and vacuum the whole interior.

The automated part of the car wash got me to thinking about how this car wash is very much like our life. With purpose I drove my car to the car wash, when I arrived, to get it washed I had to position the front tire in a track, once positioned correctly I then placed the car in neutral and the automated car wash pulled my car through the car wash cycles while I sat back and listened to a CD. When the car wash was complete, I placed the car into gear and went on my way.

The car wash experience struck me in a couple of different ways. One, that in life there are times where we simply need to get in the groove, let go of the controls and allow ourselves to enjoy the ride, all the while trusting that everything will be as it should be in the end.

The other thought that came into my mind is that many people are in a perpetual automatic car wash mode, that is, they fully expect to sit back, not take any action and somehow everything will come to them. No effort required. They believe that some external source will provide for all their needs and that they are not in any way responsible to take action. These same people are also in a form of perpetual dissatisfaction with their life and blame everything and everyone else for their lot in life.

Like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, many people look to God and say things like “would it have hurt for you to make me a richer man?” indicating that they believe their fate in life is sealed by God.

Our fate is not sealed by God or any other source.  We each have the ability, the power to create the reality that we desire to create. To do this, we must live a life of balance and know when to take action and when to let go of the reigns and trust in ourselves and the powers of the Universe that all will be as it should be. This is why is it critical to develop our awareness, for the more aware we become of what we are thinking and how that thinking is creating our reality, the more we know when it is time to take action and when it is time to release the controls, sit back and let the Universe do it’s magic.

One of the keys to remember about this is that this is not linear thinking, what I mean is that it’s not like there are distinct time frames where you are in one mode or the other, much of what I describe happen all within the same day, the same hour, even simultaneously.

Achieving this awareness will help you to create a balance and help you to understand and appreciate your role in this Universe.

I suggest that you meditate on the following questions, trust that the answers will come to you.

Are you taking action where you should be?

Are you letting go when you should be?

The Peanut Butter & Jelly Parable

 The lunch whistle blew at the construction site and the workers all gathered together to eat their lunch and share their stories of the day. As the men opened their lunch boxes, one of them said, “ummm, fresh roast beef sandwich today”, another exclaimed “I have a turkey sandwich from the leftover turkey dinner we had last night” and still another bragged about the delicious ham and cheese sandwich he found in his lunch box.  Another worker, who had been listening to all of this, complained, “You guys are lucky, all I ever get is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! I am sick of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! If I open this lunch box today and find another peanut butter and jelly sandwich I am going to scream! He opened his lunch box and screamed as he found yet another peanut butter and jelly sandwich. One of the men said, “hey, if you are so sick of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, why don’t you ask your wife to pack you something else?”  The other man said “Wife? I’m not married, I pack my own lunch”.

I don’t recall the original source of this story, however I do love it. It cleverly illustrates how many people live their life.  Like the man in the story who complained about the lunch that he created, we tend to do the same thing in our own life. We complain about different aspects of our life, yet we don’t do anything to change what we are complaining about! We continue to do the same things that end with the same results, in turn, we act surprised and complain about the results. This by definition is insanity!

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results – Albert Einstein

You hear people living this way all of the time. They say things like:

• - Things never work out for me
• - This always happens to me
• - I never win at anything
• - I never make the right decisions
• - My relationships never work out
• - I always pick the wrong kind of man/woman
• - I never meet the right kind of people
• - I never get promoted
• - I am always over looked
• - I am never appreciated for what I do

The list goes on and on. These thoughts, weather said out loud or not impact our results. We think and say the same things every day, yet we somehow are surprised when the results don’t change!

What are you saying or doing on a repetitive basis that is creating a constant result that you don’t want?

By the way, just because something worked for you in the past, is no indication that it will work for you in the present. Be courageous and try something new. You may be surprised at the results!