Build A Bridge and Get Over It
This weekend in my travels, I heard a little girl say, “Build a Bridge and Get Over It” to another little girl she was talking to. Now, where this originated I do not know, I would not be surprised if it did not come from one of the popular kid’s shows like “Hannah Montana” or something like that. What I do know is that it is much better then “gag me with a spoon” or “funny as a crutch” and other sayings that have assaulted our culture over the years.
What caught my attention about this latest saying is the wisdom that it holds. It is true, there are often times when we simply must find a way to get over it, whatever “it” might be. Usually the “it” that we need to get over is ourselves, more to the point our ego. We are often the obstacle, we are more often than not what gets in our way. This is a hard pill to swallow for most of us. We hate to admit that we are what is holding us back, that we are responsible for the anger or resentment that we harbor, or that we are responsible for the mental and emotional pain that feel.
When someone says or does something that hurts are feelings or causes emotional pain often times we shut down, we discontinue the relationship with that person, even though deep down we know we do not want this relationship to end. We want the other person to apologize to make amends and we will wait until a cold day in hell for them to do that. The reality is that we could most likely repair the broken relationship, if we would just “build a bridge and get over it”. We simply must practice forgiveness and unconditional love, for when we do, getting over it, is quite simple. See, it’s simple because we are the “it”, and since we are the “it”, it is simply our choice to get over ourself.
It really all comes down to our thoughts and choosing to live from our spirit. When we are full of love, truly full of love and overflowing with love, then there is no room for anything else, ego does not get in our way, we readily forgive, we live with a knowing and an understanding that transcends our ego, transcends the negative feelings which get in our way and put us in a place where we need to get over it.
Today, ask yourself, what do you need to get over?
In what way is your ego getting in your way?
Are you benefiting yourself in anyway by not getting over it?
How would your life, your relationships change if you simply “Built a Bridge and Got Over It?
Great post. I love when you see something inspiring in something as seemingly uninspiring as a little girl being rude to her friend.
What a cool, smart little saying.
Thanks for prompts too. I find them to be rather helpful questions to look within…
I love this. I can usually do this. But when my brain is stuck in that circular logic cycle of “OMG, how can they DO that to me”, it’s hard to just get over stuff. The trick is finding tools to build that bridge. Mostly, it takes practice. And it also helps to have a friend who is a good role model for this.
Mark,
The concept is real enough. We drive home hard the idea that we are never the problem, that someone or something causes the situation to rise and flare at us like a burning sun. Fact is, 99% of the time we are exactly what you said, “We are the it”, the problem, the large ego that sits in the window glaring at everything and everyone.
This morning I had a sweet conversation, mostly it was topsoil, as I like to call it. You know the questions and answering session that one has with someone new they meet. Yet, in this conversation I felt warm, almost as if I was being wrapped in a winter-proof blanket. This persons voice was strong and inviting. I could have talked all day, but not sure that would have been a good idea. It was after reading this post that I realized I got in the way of that conversation. I wanted to say so much more, find out what that person was all about, and although I did ask some questions, I held back.
I think you are dead on with this post. So much we sabotage ourselves. We see, we want, and then we find some reason to let it or someone go. How tragic.
I also remembering you mention how we fear stepping into the light (my words) because of the possibility of rejection or hurt. I do that. But this morning I took a large step, a leap of faith if you will. I understand life is so terribly short and it is time for me to say welcome to my world without the fear and if I am rejected, then time will find its place and I will bandage my wounds and build a new bridge and get over it.
Thank you Mark, one again!
Soft love,
Tara
Ohh nice!
Another little thought that popped into my brain… the building a bridge part.
I find the bridge building analogy so profound …. (to bring people together, or mend relationships), it seems to suggest the work involved in doing something…
IOW, getting over something doesn’t just happen but it requires us to build bridges.
If that makes any sense… (smile).
JJ
Oh… this was a great post for me to find right now. Thanks. I am seeking out my bridge as we type! I’m also trying to figure out just how deep, and what exaclty the “it” is that is piled up all around me that I seem to need to get over.
=)
~smj
Hi Mark:
I love the comment “build a bridge and get over it.” Just recently I realized that I am not my ego and sometimes laugh at it.
Where is the article you promised for my blog?
Helen
Guilty Secret,
There is inspiration and quiet beauty in many things that we may miss if we are not tuned in. Thanks for your thought!
Scarletbegonia,
Glad that you enjoyed this and found value in the prompts.
Tammy,
What you speak of is our ego, which is easily bruised and tends to get in our way many times. You are right, it is great to have a role model that you can turn to for guidance, support and example. Thanks for your thoughts!
Tara,
Glad to hear that you took a leap of faith and trusted in yourself. You are right, we often get in our own way and curtail things that we want for fear of over extending ourselves or for fear of rejection. Sounds like you had a great conversation. We do need to be aware of ourselves and learn how to get out of our way so that we can proceed along our journey. Thank-you for your warm and thoughtful thoughts. Love and Peace!
“Build a bridge and get over it.” Hm, maybe this should be my new philosophy of life! It used to be Janis Joplin’s “Git it while you can” but I think I’ve mentioned that before. Over the years I think I’ve been better at building barricades and I’d like to think I’ve gotten over that but I do wonder sometimes. Sort of off-topic but I believe also that there are some bridges that cannot be mended and while it hurts our hearts, I have experienced it and don’t know how to proceed except to practice acceptance and let go.
What say you? Or anyone here?
Peace and bridges,
~ RS ~
Jennifer,
You are funny, you often close with a question if you are making sense or not and you always do. I love how you think things out and sometimes allow us to witness your thought process. You do make sense, I also like the idea that building a bridge is an active process and that we must be engaged to do so. Thanks for all of your wonderful thoughts.
Samanthamj,
Glad that this writing was timely for you. I hope that it helps prompt you into building the bridges that you need. You already know that which you seek. Trust in yourself.
Welcome, hope to hear from you again!
Helen,
Glad that you enjoyed this and that you are able to laugh at yourself.
Sorry for the delay on the article, life has become extremely busy. Maybe I can get to it today.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Ruby,
I believe that the key to building bridges is forgiveness. We must forgive, for that is the foundation that the bridge is built on. The bridges of which we speak our a two-way street. All we can do is act from forgivness and love, if the person on the other end of the bridge is not willing to mend and heal the relationship, then we must continue to forgive, love and have paitence. We must reach out with a pure heart and know that in the end all will be righted.
Love and peace!
Thanks for your question and your thoughts.
Mark:
Thanks for your comments on my blog and this wonderful post that speaks so directly to my situation. As you know, I am suffering. And much of this suffering is caused by my own ego.
Forgiving the first betrayal required four weeks off work to do deep meditation and deal with my issues. Second betrayal I handled well, I think, but am still in the process of dealing. Third betrayal is difficult because I do not know the identity of the hidden person and the betrayal continues.
I find it much easier to forgive when someone acknowledges the pain they have caused me and stops doing it. Much harder when they continue, seemingly without pity.
But, your post reminds me what I have always known deep inside: forgiveness is difficult, but necessary.
Emerging from the Fire,
It would be so much easier if forgivness was always a two way street. Often times the people we need to forgive are no longer of this earth. Your situation is even more difficult because it appears that someone is still doing something which is causing you pain. This is the proverbial turn the other cheek situation and respond with love. The power of sending forgivness and love to even those who torment us today is incredible. Amazing things can and do take place when you forgive and love.
May you find peace and love and may it begin with you!
In my next life, I’m going to request to come back as an ego-sweeper!
I like this saying:)
Tumel,
Glad you enjoyed!
What a fanatastic idea this is my friend. Surely it must be a mark of wisdom to find eternal truths in the seemingly ‘ordinary’ occurences of life. Build a bridge and get over it – Sounds like a 2 step plan to success. Sending you light and love, Maithri
Maithri,
Thank-you for your kind thoughts. Glad that you enjoyed this writing. Hope all is well, love and peace.
very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
Idetrorce
Idetrorce,
It’s okay that you don’t agree with me. I would love for you to explain why we disagree. Thanks for stopping by. Hope to hear from you soon.
FYI – see: http://digg.com/comedy/Who_is_Idetrorce
it’s a bot message or something… I got one too… I recommend deleting it.
Samanthamj,
Thanks for the heads up.
Don’t know if this is still a live topic, found this by search engine looking for the origin of the quote….
Originally it might have been an encouragement to put some effort into building bridges in your life to move beyond some place where you are stuck (possibly depressed or moping over some lost relationship etc).
These days I hear it more like a packaged quote from a pop-psych ‘expert’ on the lecture circuit, used to hit others over the head with when you want to label them as trouble makers who are stuck in the past.
My former wife used the “build a bridge..” quote frequently to express a desire to drop some issue and move on because it was raising in her, emotional discomfort.
Frequently I felt the issue was still a ‘hot’ one emotionally with both of us because it hadn’t been dealt with.
She saw it as dragging up stuff from the past, I felt I couldn’t move on without dealing with the issue ‘properly’ first. I usually felt ‘unheard, and unwilling to be heard’.
For me this is what the “building” part is about…. open up and clear away the decayed debris, establish a new understanding foundation, and build something new so that your relationship / life can press forward over something which got in your way.
My wife’s approach resembled the bury the mess and ignore it… put a band-aid on a cancer, ignore it and it’ll go away.
If the thing is not an issue because you’ve built the bridge and moved on, it shouldn’t be painful and cause a reaction when it is brought up again, yes?
Expressive therapies approaches I’ve experienced seem to help in allowing buried stuff to surface and be dealt with – and they come back less severe later, or not at all.
Sure, build a bridge and get over it, but build it….don’t just imagine it.
Wishing all peace and love…..