“I can’t dance”, “I don’t do well at math”, “I seem to always pick the wrong person to fall in love with”, “I am not very good with money”, these are all examples of self limiting beliefs. We are all guilty at times of saying or thinking these types of things about ourselves.
A self limiting belief, is a thought, a belief that we hold, one which we own, which limits us from doing something. It is our belief, not someone else’s belief, it is ours. We say it over and over to ourselves. We own the self limiting belief.
Yes, we may have received this belief from a comment some authority figure made in our life, however, we are the one who chose to accept the belief as true and make it part of our persona.
The great thing about self limiting beliefs is that, because we own the belief, we can choose to change the belief! How cool is that?
Let’s say one of your self limiting beliefs is that you are not good at math. You have the power to change that belief. How do you do that, first you have to change your internal dialogue, you have to replace the thought that “I am not good at math”, to “my math skills are improving”, “I am good at math”, “I am learning to do math better”. Once you change your thought, then your subconcious will make this come true by driving you to take action. That action might be to take a math course or to go on line and learn how to do the type of math that you have struggled with, etc. The thought will drive the action, the action in turn will reinforce the thought and make it a reality, to the point where you will begin to say, “I am really good at math”.
This is how it works, this is how you change a self limiting belief. This is a simple process!One that you can choose to initiate today.
What are your self limiting beliefs? Not sure, listen to yourself, catch your self the next time you say, “I am not good at ____” or “I will never be able to _______ because I _____” When you catch yourself expressing or thinking a self limiting belief, stop yourself, write the self limiting belief down and think how you can turn that self limiting belief into an “empowering belief”.
You are what you think you are!
You are limited only by your own thoughts!
Throw off the limits and empower yourself!
Posted by Desiree on February 2, 2007 at 11:39 pm
Our minds are so powerful that they can talk us either into what we can do or what we can’t do! It’s really amazing how powerful our thoughts really are! A very moving post Mark!
Posted by tobeme on February 3, 2007 at 12:04 am
Desiree,
If we could only realize the power! It would amaze us!
Posted by knightofswords on February 3, 2007 at 3:44 am
One of the difficulties in getting rid of self-limiting beliefs is that limbo period after one starts taking proactive steps to change, yet before any change in reality is noticed. If one isn’t careful, the excitement about the new belief can easily fade away when day after day one continues to witness the same old reality. In emergency situations, such as those in which unemployed people who are running out of funds and decide to change “I can’t get a job” to “I can get a job,” it’s hard to stay positive after getting a few more turn-down letters. I often think it’s best to start with beliefs where the urgency is not so high. This gives one a while to grow into the new belief without becoming unhinged by any apparent lack of progress.
Posted by Secret Simon on February 3, 2007 at 3:49 am
This reminded me of the tabby cat I mentioned on my blog, chasing the big black bear up the tree! Maybe that’s an image to remember if we doubt the power of our minds. I’ve never done any art since I left school because I was always told I was bad at it, but yesterday I started an art therapy class: just simple abstract stuff. I wasn’t too happy with the first two pictures I did but I ignored the voice inside me which was telling me to give up and produced a third which I will be happy to hang on my wall. I still have a great pool of negativity inside me, but I’m working on it! Or rather, I *don’t* have a great pool of negativity inside me…
Posted by LLOYD BRADBURY on February 3, 2007 at 8:38 am
limits sometimes creat caution but if not amended by experiencechildren are always testing limits given to them aswe must
Posted by tobeme on February 3, 2007 at 5:36 pm
knightofswords,
Very good advice. I agree, see the affect of changing one’s self limiting beliefs does not happen overnight. It does often take some time to see the affect of changing your thoughts. It is easy to get frustrated when we don’t see the expected results quick enough. It is important to remember that changing our thoughts takes effort and focus on our part and the belief that by changing our thoughts we will change the results.
Thanks for adding to this conversation.
Posted by tobeme on February 3, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Secret Simon,
Very cool that you are taking an art class which is a complete change of thinking for you. Sounds like a great step.
“I don’t have a great pool of negativity inside me” could be enhanced by saying “I have a great pool of positivity inside me” – Remember think the thought of what you want, believe, remove the whole “negative” word from the thought!
Great job, thanks for adding your thoughts and sharing your actions!
Posted by tobeme on February 3, 2007 at 5:42 pm
LLoyd Bradbury,
Yes, as children we must continue to not only test are limits, we should push beyond the limits and realize that the only limits that really exist are the limits we place on ourselves.
Thanks for adding the conversation!
Posted by ggwfung on February 4, 2007 at 8:35 am
yes, we do get trained into certain modes of thinking. Like learning the mother tongue, we can’t envision any other way of doing things.
That’s what self-limiting beliefs are – the loss of imagination and possibility.
love the picture; I think I was in mental chains until I finally left high school. THen began the epic journey I’m still on today.
cheers tobeme,
ggw
Posted by Prab on February 4, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Mark,
During meditation, which I seldom do nowadays, sadly, you usually have a what they call a mantra, usually something positive. The secret behind it is getting your mind into a more positive flow, and that in effect translates to how you act in the real world.
It’s the same case here, if you fill your mind with self limiting thoughts, as you put it, it will certainly limit you as an individual.
Who’s the person that said, “as we think, so we become?” I forgot.
That’s why most of the time for me, I choose to be optimistic most of the times. Not only does it make me feel more “lighter,” but it also tends to infect the other people around me.
Posted by naturalhigh on February 5, 2007 at 2:53 am
One thing that I have learned is the power of the word “yet”.
I am not good at math yet!
I have not lost those extra pounds yet!
It is a way to acknowledge what is there in the present without projecting it into the future.
This works better for me than saying I am thin and fit when I know damn well that I need to lose weight. It acknowledges that effort and mindfullness will change the future reality.
Posted by tobeme on February 5, 2007 at 8:32 pm
GGW,
Well put, “self-limiting beliefs are – the loss of imagination and possibility”.
Yes, this gets to the heart of self limiting beliefs, we get locked on who we are and lock out the possibilities of who we could become.
How many times have you heard a person say “that’s just who I am” as a reaon to justify their actions and thoughts.
Posted by tobeme on February 5, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Prab,
That is great that you use meditation as a vehicle to get in touch with yourself. Choose to make time to do that daily, the payoff will be huge, as I am sure that you know.
I am not sure who said, “As you think, so shall you be”, however this is a quote that I live moment to moment by.
Thank-you for bringing so much of yourself to your comments.
Posted by tobeme on February 5, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Naturalhigh,
Thanks for the comment. If this is working for you, that is great!
Personally, I would find some limititations in using this type of affirmation. My mind would say not yet, when?
My mind would say, hey, your still not good at math and this thought would hamper me from becoming better or taking up the challange.
Posted by oneguy on February 12, 2007 at 1:28 am
Excellent post! I always used to catch myself thinking “I’m sick” and “I’m tired”. I changed my internal “mantra” to “I’m happy” and “I’m alive”. I don’t know if it helped any in my day to day life, but I feel better!
Right now (and for a while) I’ve recognized that I have the self limiting thought of “I’m horrible remembering names”. I’m actively working on reversing this. My first step was to say, “I’m good at remembering odd names.” That’s worked great. Now I have to extend it…
Posted by tobeme on February 12, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Oneguy,
Thanks for the compliment. Glad to hear that you are activly working on eliminating your self limiting beliefs! Amazing the difference this will make in you life!
Thanks for your personal contribution.
Posted by Goal Setting - Flush out Your Limiting Beliefs | Live My Life Online on December 28, 2007 at 2:16 pm
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