News Flash – It’s Not Fair!

Now that is not much of a news flash really is it? We all have heard “It’s not fair”. The funny thing is that when people make the statement “It’s not fair” it makes one believe that somehow they thought it should be fair. I know people who say “It’s not fair” at least once a day, and some who say it multiple times a day.  The declaration that “it’s not fair” is usually promoted by something that has or has not happened to us, for example, a co-worker who does much less work then we do gets the promotion we felt we deserved or a person of wealth wins a million dollars in the lottery or we develop cancer even though we live a healthy life all of which seems to not be fair. The list goes on and on. One could sit for hours and make a list of all of the things in our world which appear to not be fair.

Where does the expectation of everything being fair come from? When we are children are well meaning parents use the concept of fairness to teach us some of our social skills. Playing fair really equates to being nice to others, treating others with respect and so on, all of which are critical social skills which we need to learn. The problem is that life is never truly fair and there is a reason for that, it is not designed to be fair in the sense that we view fair.

How can we expect everything to be equitable across the board? We are all here as part of our journey and we are all on different levels of our journey with unique lessons to learn along the way. The playing field is not a level one because each one of us has a unique purpose and each one of us has lessons to learn at different times in our life.

One might want to think that are physical age has something to do with what is fair and what is not, it doesn’t. We are eternal beings and therefore our physical age does not necessarily relate to our spiritual age, therefore attempting to say what is fair for a person of a physical age of 12 or the age of 50 does not in the big scheme of things make sense.

The cry that “It’s not fair” is a cry of the ego as the ego compares and contrasts it’s self with others. When we operated from a state of ego we tend to compare ourselves to others and in that comparison we perceive that some people have more stuff than we do, or they have better hair than we do, or that they seem to get all the breaks when all we seem to get is more broken and in doing this we experience envy, jealousy, resentment and sometimes hate.

Our ego also tends to label things that happen to us as good or bad. When something happens to us which we perceive as “bad”, we again may want to say, “It’s not fair”. Let’s say we are in a car accident or that we lose someone close to us or we develop a disease like MS or cancer, we tend to view these things as bad and may hear ourselves exclaiming that it’s not fair or why did God allow this to happen to me? When we view these things from the ego our sight and understanding is very limited and we tend to see only the bad. We feel that we are being picked on, singled out by the universe and we see this as being unfair.

When release the ego and therefore release the labels of what is good or bad we then are able to see that there is a purpose for everything that transpires along our journey and that we can use even that which at first seems to be a negative to learn lessons and to grow.

At the end of the day, the fairness which we seek is found in the fact that it is not fair, nor is it designed to be and this is true no matter what your status in life.

The next time you hear yourself exclaiming that  it’s not fair, stop and remind yourself that it is not supposed to be fair and that you are thankful for all which comes your way because through your awareness you will use every experience to live on purpose and grow.

We Are All One – May We Let Our Light Shine!

I am the wind which breathes upon the sea,

I am the wave of the ocean,

I am the murmur of the billows,

I am the ox of seven combats,

I am the vulture upon the rocks,

I am a beam of sun,

I am the fairest of plants,

I am the wild boar in valor,

I am the salmon in the water,

I am a lake in the plain,

I am a world of knowledge,

I am the point of the lance in battle,

I am the God who created the fire in my head.

- Ed. P. Murray

The above Irish poem illustrates that we are all of one. The cause of every conflict, every war, most depression and suicide is that we come to believe we are separate from each other and from source.

When we come to understand that we are not separate from source and that we are not separate from anything or anyone in this universe we can choose to fully change our experience on this leg of our journey.

Consider for a moment that every thought that you have, every word that you utter and every action that you take has a direct impact on you. If you truly believed this to be true how would it change your actions towards others and the world at large? What would you do differently? Would you change the way you act and react to others? Would you soften the tone you use when you speak? Would you reconsider that which in the past has raised your anger? Would you not litter, would you be more respectful of all living things on this earth?

One would think one would change if one knew this to be true, right?  As I sit here and write this I am thinking about how many people talk to poorly to themselves, how they treat themselves and for many people that treatment is not all that good. I hear many people call themselves names, like stupid, idiot, clumsy, etc. I see many people who do not treat themselves as one should. Why then would I believe these people who are mean to themselves would be any better in the way they treat the rest of the world even if they realized the impact of their thoughts, words and actions?

I do believe that if people were truly aware of the impact that their own thoughts, words and actions had on themselves and everyone and everything else that they would begin to change and that this change would cascade through our universal consciousness and we would see a universal rising of consciousness. (As a matter of fact, I believe we are already seeing this change).

The key to this change in consciousness rests within each of us. When we realize that we are not separate from source and therefore not separate from each other and we begin to understand that every thought we have has a universal impact and that impact always comes full circle then we are more apt to allow our light to shine.

There are many people out there who are working through personal growth and who are becoming more enlightened every day. Many of these same people though still feel disconnected. While some people may be making great strides in their spiritual journey they may be holding that experience close to the vest and not sharing their personal experiences. While these people are having a positive impact on all of the Universe, they are still holding back. One may ask, why would these people hold back, why would they not share their light in a more direct way? The answer is simple, the ego, which operates on fear as opposed to love, fears that some people may reject their light, that some less enlightened people may not understand the true joy of the soul and that we may be ridiculed for showing our light fully. Note how the ego creates separateness by making an assumption that it is more enlightened and therefore better than others. Whenever we make these types of distinctions we create separateness, and when we believe we are separate from source and therefore separate from others we open the door to much of the world’s woes.

Know today that you are one with all; know that every thought, word and action impacts all which includes you. Know that you have the power to choose the impact that you have. Know that as you grow in wisdom and joy that you will make a greater impact on yourself and all by allowing your light to shine fully.

Where Does Force Get You?

When putting together a jig saw puzzle and you attempt to force a piece to fit what happens? You most likely will damage the forced piece and attached pieces and as you get to the end of the puzzle you will find that you are unable to complete the puzzle. Force a square peg into a round hold and again you will damage both the peg and the hole. Force your way through a door and you will most likely damage the door and possibly yourself.  When we use force in these ways we are either not being patient or our need to be right and powerful overrule the obvious.

Think about the times in your life when you have elected to use force to make something fit, or to get your way. What was the long term result? I am pretty confident that most people will say that although the use of force may have initially seemed to accomplish their objective that in the long run there was more damage caused by the force that was used and that in the end what was forced eventually unraveled.

Consider the times that you have felt that you were forced into something, how did you feel and what was the short term and long term result?

It is important to note that force and pressure come in many forms and often times force, pressure and coercion comes with a smile, a handshake and clever manipulation. What ever form force takes we know when we are being pressured and we typically will react accordingly.

The funny thing is even though we recognize that we do not want to have force applied to us, many people are quick to apply force to other people or situations to get what they perceive they want. We may even feel justified in using force to fulfill our desires and to apply pressure to have the universe behave in the way we want it to.

Our ego mind is very arrogant and can easily justify why using some form of force to help the world to behave as we desire is the right thing to do. Ego never believes it is wrong, therefore the ego mind believes that there is only really one way to do things, the ego’s way.

This is why so many people directly or indirectly force their views, beliefs and even themselves upon each other. Even in long term loving relationships we find that one person may try to force the relationship in a certain direction or force time with the other person even when the declare they need some space. Matter of fact, in a relationship often times when someone claims the need for some space instead of backing off and allowing  the person to have space we tend to do just the opposite and force ourselves into their lives more which in the end quite often creates more distance in the relationship.

You may be sitting there think there are times when force is truly necessary such as when trying to help someone with a drug addiction problem. Know this, that force even in this situation is a band-aid and that although we may see an initial change, the change will not last.

Change cannot be forced. We must buy into, i.e. accept the need for change. True change happens from the inside out.  We may gain awareness of the need for change from external input however true change is an inside job.

Remember force is often met with force, i.e.  when we feel we are being pressured we resist, dig our heals in and are less likely to make a real change. Therefore it is key that instead of using force we practice allowing and acceptance and we do this with love.

Know that you cannot force anything to happen or change that will have long term positive impact. Know that all the things that we desire to see change in the world must first change within ourselves.

When we drop our ego’s need for being right and having the power and we approach all with our spirit of love then we will find that it is much easier to accept and allow and we will be surprised to find that we do not have such a desire to have everyone else change to be more like us.

Ultimately, what we’ll discover, as individuals and
collectively, is that while we may attempt to hammer our
world into submission through pure force and might, lasting
change will only come from within. We must become the
very change we choose to experience in our world.”

— Gregg Braden - Author

Fo

Stone or Water?

The following is a re-post, still traveling today.  Hope you enjoy.

“While sitting on the bank of a river one day, I picked up a solid round stone from the water and broke it open. It was perfectly dry in spite of the fact that it had been immersed in water for centuries. The same is true of many people in the Western world. For centuries they have been surrounded by Christianity; they live immersed in the waters of its benefits. And yet it has not penetrated their hearts; they do not love it. The fault is not in Christianity, but in men’s hearts, which have been hardened by materialism and intellectualism”

~Sadhu Sundar Singh~

This is such an interesting quote, I love the analogy of the stone that has been in the water for all that time, yet is not penetrated by the water.  If we stop at the river bank and pick up a stone out of the water, we know that only the outside of the stone will be wet, while the inside will be dry, untouched by the water. We also know that if that same stone is left in the river that over a long period of time that the stone will be worn down by the water and that eventually it will become no bigger than a pebble of sand. The stone has no choice does it, it cannot choose to allow the water inside of it or to pass through, the stone simply must sit there and be worn away by the steady stream of water. Now the water on the other hand is fluid and can hit and move around the stone and continue flowing.

As I think on the stone and the water, I have to ask myself, which one am I, am I the stone, rigid, impenetrable, for the most part static, except for when moved by the water or am I the water, consistently flowing, making my own path, flowing over and around obstacles like the stone, giving life to all that need me for nourishment, changing form and recreating myself along the journey? Am I the immersed or the one immersing all that I touch?

I choose to be the water! For that is my purpose, to be like the water is to be spirit-centric! At times in my life, I have been the stone and I must say that I was never my authentic self in the role of the stone. I love being the water!

Which are you? What state are you in? Do you find that even now, in some ways you’re the stone? If so, what needs to happen for you to become more like the water?

One Answer

There are only four great questions in life:

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for?

What is worth dying for?

The answer to all of them is the same,

Only Love

- Johnny Depp, as Don Juan de Marco

Going Through Hell

I am traveling this week and unable to post. This is a re-post from Spring of 2007.

We all have times where what we are going through seems to be pure hell. It could be something happening with our career or something going on with one of the relationships in our life, or some other sort of personal struggle that we are going through.  As part of the human condition, as part as our growth experience there are times where we struggle with some aspect of our life’s journey. No matter where we are in our journey, we will be thrown some curve balls, there will be bumps in the road and there will be times where we feel like we are going through a personal hell.

Winston Chruchill’s simplistic quote, “If you are going through hell, keep going” is a great lesson for all of us. When we are going through “hell” it is very easy to get caught up in the muck of it, become despondent and even come to a grinding halt. In other words, we are going through hell, we hate it, we become depressed, unmotivated and we become stuck in a hellish situation. How crazy is that? Like  a deer frozen in the headlights of a car, we stop moving forward and we stay in “hell”, despite the fact that we need to move forward to extract ourselves from hell.

A key to being able to move forward is to be aware and to stay balanced. The awareness that I speak of is the awareness to know that no matter what transpires in our life, that all things happen for a reason, that there is a lesson in all things that happen on our journey. If we can maintain awareness to the point of understanding to be open and ready for the lesson, then we can take a positive away from the worst of experiences. Maintaining this awareness is what helps to propel us forward, it is what keeps us moving so that we do not linger or become stuck in “hell”.

If you are currently in some sort of personal hell and you seem stuck, not knowing how to move forward even though you desperately want to move forward, the first steps that you need to take is to acknowledge that you are stuck and acknowledge that this feeling of non-movement is self imposed. Once you become aware that this feeling of being stuck in “hell” is self imposed, you must then step outside yourself and look to see what lesson can be gained from this experience, what are you here to learn. Once you are able to discern the lesson then you have taken the first step at moving forward. This simple change in perspective is the catalyst for forward movement. This is the moment where your inner self is reawakened, the moment you reconnect with your source and you realize that you no longer have to stay in a hellish situation. You have the power to make the changes that are needed to accelerate your positive growth.

The key is to recognize your personal power, the power of your spirit and to take the first step!

“The two things I did learn were that you are as powerful and strong as you allow yourself to be, and that the most difficult part of any endeavor is taking the first step, making the first decision”

- Robyn Davidson

“You Never Know . . .”

There was once a farmer in a village that had a horse that he treasured. One day the horse ran away. The farmers neighbor came over to express his condolences, “I am sorry that your horse ran away” said the neighbor. In return the farmer said “You never know, who knows if this is good or bad”. The next day the prized horse returned bringing with it eleven wild horses it had met during its adventures. The neighbor seeing this came over to congratulate the farmer on his good fortune. Once again the farmer said “You never know …”. The next day the farmer’s son was thrown from one of the wild horses as he was trying to tame it. The fall from the horse resulted in the son breaking his leg.  The neighbor came again to express how bad he felt about the son’s injury. For the third time the farmer stated “You never know …”  Shortly there after the King sent out his soldiers to draft all of the young men from the village to fight in a war but because of his son’s broken leg he was not taken off to war. Hearing the news, the neighbor came over and exclaimed to the farmer had fortunate a man he was to have his son spared. You can guess what the farmer said to that.

-         Author Unknown

This story helps to illustrate that we never really know what is good or bad and also how our journey is ever changing.  All is not what it always appears to be at first glance. What we consider good or bad, right or wrong is often a matter of perspective and a mater of time. There are always going to be happenings in our life, some of these we will perceive as ups others as downs. Change occurs with or without our permission and acceptance.

When we develop an awareness that change is part of the journey and that we never know if something is good or bad in the larger context and therefore that everything happens for a reason and is as it should be we then are able to accept the changes that happen, the perceived bumps in the road with wisdom and peace.

Consider whatever is happening in your life right now and think about how you are categorizing what is happening. Is it good or bad, right or wrong, fair or unfair? Now, stop and consider the possibility that you may not know if something is good or bad, etc because you can not see the whole picture. Consider the possibility that all things that happen in your life happen for a positive reason even though that which is happening does not feel like a positive experience.

When you are able to do this you then begin to accept life as it comes and like the farmer in the story you do not label happenings as good or bad you simply allow as you trust in your divine self and the divinity of the universe. Living this way is the way of the authentic self and when we live the way of the authentic self we live a truly free and joyful life!

Inconsistency In Thought – Consistency in Growth

We have learned to be weary of people who are inconsistent in their thoughts. When we sense an inconsistency in a person’s thoughts we question the motive for the change in thought. We quite often see this in politics. When someone is running for office the media will inevitably dredge up a “sound bite” from twenty years ago when the person said something that contradicts with what they are saying today and say “Ah ha, this person waffles on what they stand for, they are inconsistent in their thoughts and therefore will be an inconsistent leader!”  In the United States we can see this happening today as the Supreme Court Justice nominee goes before the Senate for confirmation.

Is inconsistency in thought a bad thing? At first glance one might say yes, however as I dwell on this I soon discover that I would be wearier of someone who was consistent in their thoughts over a long period of time. If one is consistent in all thoughts does this not display a form of arrogance, does this not indicate that the person has not grown, does this not demonstrate that the person is not open to new ideas?

As I review my life thus far I know that my thoughts have changed many times, what I passionately believed to be true at 20 years of age was different from the truths I held close when I was 30 years of age. What is true for me today is often different from what was true when I was 30, heck even for what was true for me a year ago or yesterday is not necessarily true today. As Gandhi stated “… I have grown from truth to truth”.

“At times of writing I never think what I have said before. My aim is not to be consistent with my previous statements on a given question, but to be consistent with truth as it may present itself to me at a given moment. The result has been that I have grown from truth to truth” – Mahatma Gandhi

I find that I also grow from truth to truth. Truth for me is a moving target. The more I open myself up to possibilities the more I learn and discover and therefore the more my truths change. In fact over the last couple of years my truths are changing at a rapid rate. This is not to say that there is not consistency within some of what I consider today to be truths, however I know that there is difference between consistency and foolish consistency as Ralph Waldo Emerson points out in the following quote from his essay “Reliance”;

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes we may become shaken by our own inconsistency because we have been taught that consistency is a virtue not to be messed with. We may even place obstacles in the way of our enlightenment because we are hell bent on being consistent. We may be worried about what others will think if we are inconsistent. We may choose to be consistent rather than face the judgment and scrutiny of others. All of this simply serves to keep us stagnant and prevent us from learning the lessons we are here to learn and in doing so we sentence ourselves to repeat the same lessons over and over again.

We have all heard the statement “practice makes perfect”, this is not true, if we practice something incorrectly, then we will continue to be incorrect in what we do. The statement should be that “Perfect practice makes perfect”, that is if I practice something correctly then I will grow to do it correctly.

It is important for us to consider consistency in our thoughts and if we are holding onto consistency for consistencies sake and if we are to open ourselves up to all possibilities.

It is okay if you find that what is true for you today is not true for you tomorrow; this is what growth is all about.

Inconsistency in thought in many ways indicates consistency in growth.

Un-Boxing Spirituality

Do you keep yours in a box, only to be pulled out during certain times of the day or only on specific days of the week?  Do you place yours in the shadow of the day only to be pulled out when you are alone? Do you keep your spirituality in a box, only to be brought out when you make the time to meditate or pray?

We often hear people speaking of how they “practice” spirituality as if they were talking about how they practice playing tennis. We live busy lives and it is sometimes easier for us to compartmentalize what we do in life, such as being a parent, a business person, a co-worker, a lover, a spouse, etc. In doing so, many people are also apt to compartmentalize things like religion, relationships and spirituality. We even have sayings that demonstrate our attempt at compartmentalization such as “Please understand this is business, not personal”.

Many people do keep their spirituality in a box and only bring it out when they are ready to meditate, pray or participate in some other form of culturally defined spiritual behavior. Interesting that some people attempt to limit their spirituality to such a degree when in fact we are spiritual beings! The fact is we are spiritual beings having a human experience, yet more often then not, we tend to believe we are humans that choose to have a spiritual experience when it is convenient to do so or when we are in cultural situation where spirituality is accepted or expected.

The funny thing is that try as we might we can never truly separate ourselves from our spirituality, we can attempt to create distance; however we can never be separate, for to be separate would to not “be”. We are, therefore we must be. In other words, how we live our life, what we do in this world is our spiritual practice!

When we attempt to compartmentalize our spirituality we are in essence attempting to create distance from our spirit and in doing so we create an environment which we feel frustration, depression and other indicators that we are out of alignment. Some people verbalize this feeling by saying, “I feel off today, or I feel out of sorts” and they have a difficult time pinpointing why they feel “off”. Attempt to create enough distance and we become so out of alignment with our authentic self that we begin to manifest physical ailments as well as emotional and mental issues.

When we are aware of our spirituality and we live our spirituality we are therefore being our authentic self and we are in alignment with our spirit and therefore with our source.  When we un-box our spirituality and become aware that the spirituality that we practice is what we think, say and do every moment of every day then we are in position to live a life aligned with spirit. To live aligned with spirit, is to live on purpose and to live in joy!

Some people may say that to live every moment in spiritual awareness would have a negative impact on their daily achievements. The ego speaks loudly and attempts to persuade us that to live in spirit is to live without ambition, to live without purpose and to live without the ability to succeed in the day to day world. This my friend is one of the biggest lies we tell our self. It may seem true on the surface, however I know personally that one can achieve the successes of this world and do so in spirituality, do so in love and do so without harm to ourselves or others.

Living your spirituality creates an alignment with the universe which assures you success in all aspects of your life. Of course the thing we need to remember is that success comes dressed in many ways and that what you once, or better yet  what your ego defined as success may be different that what your spirit knows is success.

Remember you are a spiritual being and therefore all that you think, say and do is your spiritual practice! Apply this one thought to your day and you may be amazed at how transforming un-boxing your spirituality can be!

Wisdom Snobbery

Most of us understand that the word snob is defined as a person who adopts the worldview that some people or things are inherently inferior to him/her for any one of a variety of reasons, including real or supposed intellect, wealth, education, ancestry, etc…

For instance some people would not be caught dead in a consignment shop because they believe that to shop in a consignment shop is beneath them, even though they very well may find the exact label clothes they wear at a fraction of the price and often times the original sales tags are still on the clothing. It is not because the clothing in a consignment shop is any less valuable or attractive that some people would not shop in a consignment shop, it is because the person sees consignment shop shopping as below their station in life.  Some people would rather pay full price then ever look on the sale rack at a store. This is one form of snobbery.

Another more insidious form of snobbery practiced by many people is that of wisdom snobbery. The funny thing is that people who are wisdom snobs are rarely conscious of the snobbery that they practice, often times it is a something that has been indoctrinated into them by their social circle or culture.

Many people tend to discount anything that does not fit into their belief system. For instance sometimes a person becomes so locked in our their religious beliefs that when a person or group from another religion speaks, writes, etc they immediately discount what they are saying as something that they do not want to hear or something that they perceive no value in. Sometimes an atheist will shut down anything that comes across as religious or speaks of a god, again perceiving that there is no value because what is being said does not fit into their belief system. We see this happen all the time in politics. Some people are not open to hear what another one is saying because they are a Republican or a Democrat, a Tory or Labor, the Green Party, etc. Even sports fans may not listen to someone because they support an opposing team. Adults may not listen to a child or may not see the wisdom in a child’s story or nursery rhyme because they perceive that they are beyond children’s stories.

Whatever ones reason for practicing wisdom snobbery it is apparent that when we become a wisdom snob that we risk the chance of missing out on so much wisdom that is available to us.  When we refuse to listen to another persons views and lessons because they do not belong or fit into our belief system we our shutting out the potential to learn, the potential to gleam great lessons that transcend belief systems; great lessons and wisdom that are placed before us to learn and grow from.

We don’t have to agree with another person’s beliefs to be able to learn from them. There is great wisdom to be found in all belief systems, there is great wisdom to be found even in those who we perceive as polar opposites to that which we believe and stand for.

Many people have been indoctrinated to believe that what they believe is the “truth” and that anything else is untrue, not of value and if they were to even entertain or participate in something outside their belief system that they may somehow be pulled over to the “dark side”.

My friends the only “dark side” is ourselves when we do not open up the windows of our soul to allow the light which is us (love) to shine out and to allow the light that is found in others to shine in.

Consider today weather or not you practice a form of wisdom snobbery. If you find that you do, note your awareness and open yourself up to the possibility that wisdom is found in many places and that there is often great value in listening to people whose beliefs, social standing, age, political affiliation, sexual orientation, nationality, etc, on the surface may seem different then yours or may even oppose yours. Listen for the wisdom and fear not that which is strange to you, for often there are nuggets of wisdom to be found in what we initially perceive to be the darkest of mines.